Year: 2017

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The Importance of Being Selfish

“Selfish” isn’t a dirty word…in fact it may be the most healthy character trait you can have…..as long as it is accompanied by kindness and love.

 

Taking the time to look after your body regularly through exceptional food, pure water and regular exercise are the first three pillars to good health – you probably already know this as these three pillars have been drummed into those of us born after 1970.  As a society we have come to believe that taking care of these three areas is the best – and most sufficient way – to care for yourself. However, there is a fourth pillar of health that is often forgotten, hidden or shunned – that is the pillar of Emotional Wellbeing. 

This clinic is not just a massage clinic, we are more than that. We are therapists who recognise the importance of emotional wellbeing, and we understand the signs and symptoms that crop up in a body that is not in emotional balance. We call this the Mind Body Connection, and Belle is a leading expert in her field on recognising that every physical symptom has an emotional cause underneath. 
Regular self care is the ONLY way to ensure you are in emotionally balance – and this will look different for everyone. 

Emotional Wellbeing (EW) is the practice of listening to and being guided by that inner voice that speaks to us when things feel a bit “off” and when things feel very right. You can think of EW as being like a rudder on a boat. It helps us to steer and stay on course. I’m not much of a boat person, but I this is a good analogy that can describe the idea:
When you are in a boat and the rudder is slightly turned in the wrong direction it takes a moment or two before you realise you are headed slightly off course. The good thing is you can correct your steering by taking the helm in two hands, and tuning your attention to where you are going. You will get back on course quickly when you recognise your mistake, but it takes a little longer if you aren’t paying attention. And sometimes you can get into serious trouble if you really don’t recognise you are way off course.
Are you with me so far?

Our body has a feedback system that is always helping us to steer in the right direction, it gives us signs and an a “a-hoy there” if we are off course. I prefer to call the gut my “inner wisdom” but you can call it your gut instinct, or intuition too. For many women, they ignore this feedback system because they are so busy caring for other people and making themselves too busy to take time out for themselves. Our modern society prides itself on the ability of a woman to get shit done and to be superwoman. I know countless women who just keep going and going and going…until they fall apart and have to stay in bed for a day or so, and then get up and go and go and go again!

But I am here to tell you that this is the BEST way to start feeling aches and pains in your neck and shoulders, recurrent headaches, sinus infections, persistent coughs and colds and to feel sad or apathetic in your heart. For many women they report feeling like they have “no direction” or “no purpose” even though they have a job, they have a family, they have a partner, they have a house (etc etc) and they don’t see any real reason why they feel so flat, or low or un-energised or just a bit blah.

This is REALLLLLYYYY common in the years after having a baby. Clients will often present with aching in the neck and shoulders, and possibly lower back, but they will put it down to having a very heavy bub, or that they are still breastfeeding etc. Whilst yes, that may be true, there is an underlying emotional imbalance that is weighing heavy on you too. Problem is, when you have babies close together, you get too busy to care for yourself and correct some of the things that start to hurt and feel bad, because you are too busy caring for tiny humans. And so the problems compound until you have more serious aches and pains, and possibly many conditions and diseases to manage.
Often when I ask the simple question “How often do you engage in self-care?”
I get answers such as:
“ummm….”
“not very often”
“what do you mean by ‘self care’?”

Self Care is the act of attending to and caring for the self. It can be through making small choices such as what to eat or what to drink, that is life-giving and energy supporting. Or it can be through making huge life choices such as removing toxic relationships from your life, moving to a new town, changing jobs, or beginning a meditation / fitness program on a weekly basis.

Emotional Wellbeing is reliant upon your ability to put the focus on yourself for a while – especially if you are feeling achey, or despairing, or just a bit “nothingness”. Getting selfish means you are taking the time to look after your own needs, and put yourself first. If anyone has a problem with you putting yourself first simply say to them:
“So you are saying that you have a problem with me looking after myself, because it means I can’t look after you? And that makes me selfish?”

LOL – they have no where to go with this argument. (You’re welcome xx)

So here are my tips for getting selfish with kindness and love, follow them and you will be on the road to feeling better in mind and body:

The food you eat can have a huge impact on your emotional wellbeing. Sugary foods often put you on a high, but then you go through a low a few hours later and you wonder why you feel so irritated with a husband who works long hours and leaves you alone with the kids all day.
Drinking lots of coffee all day – “just to get you through” – has a taxing effect on your adrenal system (your energy system lets call it) and can actually make you have less and less energy as the weeks and months go by. Then you may find yourself with zero energy by the evening, and getting crankier and crankier with the kids (who ALL have a witching hour in the evening!) and with a partner who has no idea he has walked into Jurrassic Park and found a T-Rex in his kitchen.
(Now I am not giving your partner any excuses for his behaviour – it may be crappy, and your crankiness may be justified….but that is a blog for another day.)

Darling, I want to speak to YOU and help you to control the things about YOU that are making your life harder. And you can be sure that skipping breakfast, reaching for toast for lunch (cos it is easy) and eating off your child’s plate (cos it is quicker than making your own lunch) and downing copious amounts of coffee or chocolate all day (cos it makes you feel good) is only adding to the T-Rex Effect each afternoon/evening.
Now I am not saying eating good, clean food in a balanced and healthy way is the be all and end all, but I am yet to meet a client in my clinic who has a clean diet and poor emotional health. Just saying.
Self-care starts with food.

The next thing you need to address follows on from food……drinking. Make sure you limit coffee and tea (unless it is pure, organic and gorgeous tea from a tea maker, not the rubbish in tea bags in the supermarket!) Swap this out for water water and more water. Get your 2L per day and then talk to me about drinking coffee. Water is life. You need it. Drink it. Purified if you can.

The next thing you need to do is breathe more. Consciously, not shallow and hurried, but long deep breaths that fill you up and slow you down. If you don’t know how to do this, then get your bum to a meditation or yin yoga class immediately! YES you can put the kids in care or ask a sitter, or go later at night (don’t do yin in the day time, that’s not what it is for). You CAN do this, and you CAN make changes to your schedule once per week. It is your CHOICE to do this. Breathing deeply helps to soothe your nervous system and will quiet a busy mind. There will be less T-Rex activity when you are feeling more quiet and subdued…and then you can handle the Witching Hour with more grace and self control.

Journal often. This is so good for the soul. It gets things out of your mind and when you re-read what you wrote, it can be a revelation. Practice “Appreciation” for the little things around you. Notice the weather when it feels good to you. Notice your favourite jumper or boots or hat. Be thankful and appreciate you have a nice watch or jewelry that makes you happy. Just notice the things you have around you such as a nice tv or a lounge chair or maybe you have a Thermomix that makes your heart sing? Just notice the material objects you have that make you happy. Avoid noticing what you don’t like, and don’t focus on what you don’t have…that’s not the purpose of this exercise. Just become more Appreciative of what you do have and what you do like.
It is life changing to do this.

Engage in regular bodywork therapies. Choose from massage, Aromatouch therapy, Reiki, Emotion Code, facials, foot treatments and hand massage. Try different things every once in a while and see a new therapist, just for a change. Every therapist you see brings something new to the table (pardon the pun) so treat your body work as a “must do” and intuitively book in a session that interests you and you are curious about.

Body work helps you to unwind, and to find stillness. If you are a talker, try not talking for your next session and see how that feels. Let your therapist know you want to try something different because you are trying to get more in touch with your inner voice. She will be able to support you in this, and maybe guide you into deeper relaxation.

Make this next month all about YOU. Get inward focused and be selfish in a kind and loving way towards yourself. Who knows how you will feel at the end of it? Maybe less aches and pains, or maybe more clarity about what you need in life going forward? Be patient, be consistent and go get selfish!
You deserve it Darling xx

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Dragging in energy? Choose 3 basic steps to feeling better!

Is your energy lagging?
Do you wake up often feeling like you are dragging yourself thru your day?

Sure, you may get some energy moving AFTER coffee, AFTER a shower, AFTER exercising..but how would it feel if you felt good BEFORE doing anything?


There are 3 EASY and available changes you can make to your daily lifestyle and see benefits NOW!

 

The food we eat, the air we breathe and the water we drink all hold chemicals and pollution that our body needs to process – this takes energy.
Let’s break this down:

 

1. The food we eat – come on, be honest, the food you eat isn’t always actually food is it? The stuff that comes out of a box is HIGHLY processed, sometimes in a lab, and so contains synthetic ingredients that your body doesn’t even recognise.
Your body needs to process this – and that takes energy.
If you are fighting a cold or flu or some other infection, and you eat food that takes effort to process….even “real food” that is heavy and stodgy takes time to process, it takes energy away from your immune response……so TIP: when you are sick, eat lighter, lightly cooked food in smaller amounts. Give your body the fuel and nutrients it needs without the loading.

2. The air we breathe – pollution is part of life. Some people sit in doors in air con 38 hrs per week. Others are in traffic driving (or exercising) for an hour or so per day. Others smoke. (no judgement here.) So to counteract the effect that breathing this air has on our bodies, it is good to support the liver (the organ that filters your blood) and the lungs (this organ is obvious – right?)
Getting out into nature – AWAY from cars, is the best remedy! Into the countryside, or the beach or lake areas. Breathing deeply, expading the lungs, allowing the body to take a FULL and CONSCIOUS inhale – ahhhhhh I’m relaxed just writing it!

3.The water we drink – if you are anything like me, you need to force yourself to drink more clean, pure water! This is a hard one for people who are busy, or people who use their hands for work (massage therapists! typists, drivers etc). I like to get a big jug and fill it with water and a drop of lemon oil to purify it…and then I have a little competition with myself to see how much I can drink before I go home! (hey, whatever works!)
I love Earl Grey tea…and so sometimes I will drink 2 cups in the morning, before realising I haven’t had any water yet.

When I was really unwell with glandular fever, I could hardly be bothered to drink – I had ZERO energy, and a really sore throat. But what I did find is that some days were a LOT better…when I realised it was the days I drank over 2L of water, I was able to sit at the dinner table with the kids, or engage in conversations where I actually smiled (smiling and talking took too much energy on my worst days).
But I digress…..if you have excuses such as “I don’t like the taste of water”…I’m sorry – get over it. That excuse is for kids. Your taste buds will adjust – TBH you probably have too much sugar in your diet which is dulling your taste buds. That excuse is ridiculous. You don’t drink water for taste, you drink water to hydrate your body. Your body will not function properly – it will be sub-par – if you don’t drink enough water. If you don’t care for the taste, that translates to me as “I don’t care enough for myself, to do basic – minimum – things to help myself get to a better place of wellness.”
Water is readily available. It is a no brainer – if you want to feel better – drink purified water – and reduce the coffee/tea and sugar and milk.

PERSONAL STORY:
I was never a fan of taking supplements until I got really sick. I remember laying on the couch writhing in full body agony (glandular fever was a horrible illness!) and I started to think about what I could possibly take to make myself feel better. I started to look up doTERRA’s Life Long Vitality range of supplements. I’m traditionally not a supplement fan – I prefer to eat balanced meals and drink water. However I did lots of reading and realised that if I am out of balance – clearly I was very unwell – then I should be doing everything I can to get myself into wellness and stay in wellness (EVERYONE was telling me I had to be careful I didn’t develop chronic fatigue).
So being an Oily doTERRA girl already, I thought I would give the LLV supplements a try – I mean, what did I have to lose? They arrived 4 days later and I started taking the max dose advised every day. I recovered from my second attack of GF and I took a before and after video of my progress in a month! It was quite telling the difference in my entire being.
I’m not saying LLV cured me, but I am saying it helped strengthen my body to fight a virus that was taking me down.
I believe taking supplements for at least 3mths is the best option. Then you can truly track your progress each month, and see if you have different sleep cycles, cravings, menstrual cycles, mood states and energy levels. For me, I was able to see a marked difference.
GOOD NEWS – Aussies can NOW order LLV from our Aussie warehouse each month (translation: it is cheaper postage and no exchange rate!).

 

Are you ready to make HUGE changes just by taking 3 supplements per day? I can help you! ORDER HERE

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Sooth your tummy (and your emotions)

Digestzen is doTERRA’s product of the month for April 2017…..but to be honest, it should be “Product of the Year”!

 

There is a huge correlation between your mental health and your gut health. If you have been struggling with moods that resemble a roller coaster ride, or IBS-type symptoms in your belly here is what you need to know about your GUT and the connection it has with your MOOD!!!

 

DID YOU KNOW….that stress causes tummy pains? bloating? cramping? constipation? diarrhea?

HAVE YOU NOTICED…that when you feel uncomfortable about something, sometimes your tummy will get upset too (shock, grief, surprise, nervousness, anxious)….?

DID YOU KNOW …. that the gut is called the “second brain” because it contains the same neuro-receptors that the brain has – meaning we can literally FEEL our emotions in our gut?

 

The gut has a mind of its own, the “enteric nervous system”. Just like the brain in our head this system sends and receives information via neuro transmitters, notices and records experiences and responds to our emotions. Its nerve cells are influenced by the same neurotransmitters, and it interprets them with the same neuro receptors. The gut can upset the brain just as the brain can upset the gut.

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? It means that when you feel sad in your head, you feel sad in your gut (cramping, pain, bloating, upset digestion etc) and when you feel upset in your gut, you feel upset in your head (anxiety, depression, brain fog, moody)!

HOW CAN YOU FIX THIS? Well doctors have been prescribing anti depressants for years now, and seeing a link between tummy issues settling down, when mind issues settle down. So if you want to go halfway (or more!) to helping your ENTIRE body and mind to feel better, you need to address your GUT!!!

Of course I believe that a diet rich in plant based foods, probiotics, pre biotics and loads of pure water is the FIRST step in maintaining gut health and mind health. However sometimes the effect of the food chemicals and water contamination can wreak havoc in our body – so we need a little extra help.


That is where Digestzen comes in….it is a blend of tummy-taming oils such as ginger, caraway, fennel, peppermint..that helps to restore balance and soothe even the most irritable of tummies. 

Take 1 drop of Digestzen daily for at least 10 days to jump-start your gut into feeling more balanced and calm. Then if you see improvement use 1 drop as needed at first sign of tummy upset. (Ps also VERY helpful for burping / heart burn type issues).

You can also rub 1 drop on your tummy at first sign of pain due to food you’ve eaten causing upsets. (Remember that even healthy food can cause upsets – it is your body’s way of trying to tell you something is out of balance!)

For kids, dilute 1 drop in 10ml carrier oil and rub in a clockwise direction on their tummy.
You can also do a soothing foot rub on the soles of the feet with Digestzen too (in reflexology the large and small intestine points are located on the space between the heal and the ball of foot).

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Re-Ignite Your Passion

What is the #1 thing that makes a woman’s vitality fade?

Answer: Not living and enjoying her passion!

 

When you heart is “just not in it” you will experience more aches and pains, more headaches and more colds and flu. 
This is your body’s way of trying to get your attention. When you are sick, or sore, you spend more time laying or sitting – essentially slowing down, and thinking more.We start to re-evaluate our life and we easily prioritise what is important (sleep more + eat nourishing food + ask for help +gentle movement + quiet cuddles with family). When we feel better again we get over loaded and attempt to do too much, and lose the ability to prioritise the important stuff because we feel that we have to “get everything done”.

As women we have MANY different hats to wear – friend / sister / mother / employee or employer / partner / entrepreneur / supporter / counsellor / volunteer / carer….I could go on. 
Issues start to arise for us when we lose time for ourselves and we start to put everyone and everything else first…..and leave yourself very last. 

When you find your passion – in family or career or hobby or recreation or sport – you will begin to come alive. It is a gentle fire that burns brightly within, lighting you up and fueling your energy. Suddenly you can work (or play) all night, and the more you pour into your passion, the more invigorated you feel! However distractions and responsibilities and external demands can start to weigh you down, and sometimes get the better of you – despite having found your passion.

Personally I have felt my vitality fade – even while I am working in my passion business (ie: the clinic!) It was always an ebb and flow, but I identify losing my vitality when having very young kids, struggling with financial issues from divorce, relationship problems and being a single mum (although the first year was amazing as I re-found Me again!) and learning how to navigate my world as a single woman. Even though I was working in my passion, I still had “life” to deal with. 

So how do you navigate those seasons when life feel a bit “blah” or as I like to say “too vanilla”?

SELF CARE – and knowing how to self soothe is a skill, it takes courage, and commitment. It takes humility and grace. 

I believe this is where self care is of utmost importance. Learning how to take some necessary time out just for YOU, will help to revitalise you from the inside out. Things like gentle yoga, meditation, inspiring workshops, craft classes, enjoying gourmet food, a gorgeous bottle of red, girl-time with friends, alone time with a journal and a bar of Lindt chocolate, a reiki massage or reflexology session. Self healing with EFT and energy balancing – these are all the things I did to help bring me back to my centre, and help me to find the inner fire within again. 

What do you choose to help you find your centre again? What are your special go-to’s that make you feel better?

 The following exercise will help to put things in perspective for you. Put your favourite essential oil on, play some soothing music, take a few deep breaths and then take a moment to write down the answers to these questions:

  1. If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do for your career?
  2. If you had unlimited income, and lots of free time what would your hobbies / recreations / sports be?
  3. If you didn’t have housework to do, how would you spend your free time?
  4. If it was your last week on earth, how would you spend your time?
  5. If you were ordering your last meal, what would it be?
  6. If you could spend time with anyone on this earth, who would it be? Why?

    Your immediate answers to these questions (don’t think too hard), will help you to see more clearly where you are excited and where you need to put more focus in life. If you wrote “jump out of a plane” …but your finances don’t allow this, then what you are really saying is “I want to have more thrills in my life!” So begin to add more thrills in daily life…..
    If you wrote “I want to play professional sport”…but you don’t have the skill, or maybe your body won’t do it anymore, then what you are really saying is “I am passionate about this sport and it lights me up”…so maybe think about how you can bring this sport into your weekly or monthly life in a different way?
    Adulting is hard. There is need for compromise. There is need for patience. But the GOLD comes when you learn how to adapt and make the best out of every situation, in order to learn and to grow. 


I created this clinic to be a refuge for women in a busy and demanding world. Little did I know that in my own dark seasons it would be my refuge too. I want to give a very public “thank you” to my team of therapists and practitioners who helped bring me back to life after my recent struggle with glandular fever (an illness with an emotional cause of “extreme overwhelm and exhaustion, of wanting to hide and retreat”.) My “girls” were gentle with my body during massage treatments (my fav was reiki and foot treatments) and I loved having energy healing sessions with Kali Devi – which helped release the underlying issues that I had no idea were wreaking havoc.

My personal yoga practice of vinyasa yoga came to a stand still, but I was able to employ some yogic principles of very relaxing yoga poses such as Waterfall pose (legs up the wall) – propped up with pillows, and listening to healing meditations from Inna Segal on my iphone.

Most importantly I used my doTERRA essential oils to help gently bring life back to my body. I used Oregano, Frankincense, On Guard daily in veggie capsules (to fight the virus in my body), plus Basil and Vetiver on my feet for adrenal support. I took a tablespoon of coconut oil daily to soothe (or attempt to soothe) my very sore throat. I used peppermint oil to help with my fevers. Lavender and Bergamot in epsom salt baths to soothe my intense body pains. And wild orange to uplift my mind, in my diffuser for days when I just couldn’t get off the couch or bed. My oils gently work on a physical and energetic level, giving me the space I needed to fully heal – not just a bandaid approach, but a truly deep and long lasting healing.

If you feel like you need some help with finding your vitality again – igniting your passion – then book in with Me (Belle) for a Clarity Session – these are FREE 20min phone calls to help you get a deeper understanding of what is dulling your inner fire, and how you can make changes to improve your life!

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Feeling Stuck? Practice Thankfulness & Gratitude daily

 

Who is feeling stuck??? You know the feeling…it is icky, you feel strangled somehow, like you are in a straight jacket and cant wiggle free.
Feeling stuck is the SIGN you were waiting for!!!
Feeling stuck means that it is becoming too uncomfortable for you to stay where you are…and that means things MUST change!

 

Only problem is, we can wriggle a little, wrestle a little, and then we have a bit more breathing room, and then we think “oh, this is all too hard, i think i will just be happy with what i have got” (or similar).
Problem is, we will run out of room again, and again, and again….until the pain of this cycle becomes too much!

I have totally been there! MANY TIMES. It is the sure sign that things can move in the direction of your dreams…if only you will have the courage to keep going.

So HOW DO YOU MOVE THRU YOUR FEELING OF BEING STUCK?

You start writing in a journal….asking these questions daily:

“what do i need to feel fulfilled?”
“what does being fulfilled FEEL like?”
“what is my biggest, most daring, most audacious desire?”
“what would it FEEL like to achieve this?”
“what would my life LOOK and FEEL like if I achieved this?”
“how can i live my BEST life?”
“how can i GIVE BACK?”
“what kind of money do i need to be making each month in order to fulfill my dreams of blessing others and giving back?”

“Universe / God / Divine – please open the door to opportunity and help me to see opportunities as they come to me. Allow my eyes to be opened to joy, to help me be thankful for all that I have, and to have a heart that is wide open to receive all the love possible in this world.”

Practice writing down 3 things you are thankful for in your life every day! Make them small things, make them BIG things….just do this – EVERY DAY for at least a week, and see how your attitude changes.

BE PREPARED for people or situations to try to drag you down! It is a TRAP, and it a privilege to experience the trap because it means that we get to PRACTICE looking for the positive, or things to be thankful for. Only when you can start to see the positive in everything…most things…(looking for the SILVER lining) can you be assured that your mindset is shifting.

Life can be hard for people when we are trained to look for the crappiness,. It is like we are hard wired, from our parents, grandparents, extended family, teachers and social circle, to expect hardship. So often entrepreneurs are faced with negativity from those closest to them (hint: they aren’t entrepreneurs, and they think differently to you!) and it can drag you down. Be sure to practice your thankfulness and positive mindset daily, to ensure that you can be the shining light in this dark and moody world!

Manage your stuck-ness, BREAK THRU and be a light to others! Don’t expect others to follow you, or copy your mindset at first. Just be thankful they are noticing and realising their own “stuckness” too. You will realise when this happens cos people will say “gee you’re always so positive!” (with a tone that infers they think you are weird!)
BE POSITIVE ANYWAY!

If you REALLY want your life to change and look and feel better, you have to make a daily commitment to practice new skills of THANKFULNESS, REFLECTION, and ASKING in order to get there.

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Love Your Body again…..(or for the first time)


Essential Oils for emotional healing…..


DoTERRA’s metabolic blend “Slim n Sassy” contains Grapefruit oil which has long been used to nurture self love and respect for the physical body. It supports those who struggle to honour their body and are caught in patterns of physical or emotional mistreatment.

Grapefruit oil can help:

Negative emotions – hate for the body, obsession with food or dieting, anxiety over appearance, eating issues
Positive Properties – respect for body, meeting physical needs, body-acceptance, nourished, healthy relationship with food.

These forms of abuse may include severe dieting, judging one’s body weight or type, and abusing the body through negligent behaviours or violence. These acts are often motivated by hate and disgust buried within the psyche which gets directed towards the physical body. Though the individual may obsess over how they look, they know deep down they will never feel good enough, nor look good enough.

Grapefruit oil is often misused in overly strict dietary and weight loss programs. The reason this oil helps to curb emotional eating is because it encourages a positive relationship with one’s body, based on love, tolerance and acceptance. Grapefruit encourages integrity by respecting one’s physical needs. This oils assists the individual in listening to their true physical needs and impulses. It also assists one in taking responsibility for what they feel.
Grapefruit teaches that no amount of food can fill a hole in the heart – only love can do that.

As the individual takes ownership of their feelings and gets the help they need to hide their feelings behind food, body abuse, strict regimes, eating issues or other forms of obsession.

During pregnancy a woman will go through many changes of loving and not loving her body. This is normal, however it becomes abnormal when a woman will restrict her food, or keep up an exhausting exercise regime that would put a non-pregnant person to shame!

Pregnancy is NOT a time for losing weight (unless of course you have been instructed by your doc to lose weight). It is not a time for being strict, and it is certainly not a time for obsessing over your weight gain.


Pregnancy IS a time for learning how to “go with the flow”, of how to eat in a way that nourishes AND satisfies – so that you and your baby can be as healthy and happy as possible. There is a direct correlation between the food you eat and your mood and emotional state – so if you are smashing the donuts and coke, you can imagine your emotional state will not be entirely stable….which will then send you down the rabbit hole into self loathing, guilt and shame afterwards. Believe me, this is a vicious cycle, and one you will find it hard to get out of.
Using this oil blend, or just grapefruit on its own during pregnancy, can help you to remain loving and caring whilst observing the changes your body is going through.

 

 

If you would like to have a deeper love for your body, feel self acceptance, and develop a healthier relationship with food, then use this oil daily as part of your “self care” regimen. Dab behind the ears, or (if not pregnant) drop 1-2 drops across your belly, whilst holding the intention “I love and accept myself”. 

To order Slim n Sassy CLICK HERE

To book an Emotional Clearing consultation with Belle email belle @ thebelleflowersclinic.com.au

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50 Mum #lifehacks

Modern mums are so extraordinary aren’t we!!!

Never before in the history of ever, has a woman been expected to be so many things all rolled into ONE gorgeous creation.

We are expected to be a mum, part of the work force, have self confidence, self worth, be a good role model, be a fine housewife, be able to manage finances well, help out at school/canteen, get motivated to have a strong and fit body, encourage kids to stays off screens and play outside more, ferry kids to sports and activities, be a welcoming presence to our partner as they come home, be able to cook like a nutritionist and provide balanced healthy meals each day, be a microbiologist and prepare green smoothies that look yuck and taste yuck (but are super healthy)…..

.……is it any wonder most mums I know are TIRED. OH SO TIRED! Worn out. Stressed out. Guilty. Over it. Cranky. Frustrated. Needing space.

Is this you? Well, I can’t stop the constant-ness of this busy life, but I can offer you some oily #lifehacks that will help you be a better, more efficient and happier version of yo’self!!!

Try out these oily #lifehacks using essential oils. From everything from wellness, to home to finances (oils save you $$$) to increasing energy, to removing chemicals from fruit – we have you covered. Little tips and tricks you can actually USE in everyday life. 

Using essential oils is a game changer – it will make you more conscious of living a chemical-free life style, it will empower you to look after your own health better and with more confidence, and will help you to know what do when your child gets sick – and keep you out of the doctor’s office for common colds/conditions. 

 

Click the link:

50 mum #lifehacks: practical uses for essential oils

 

If you would like to buy your oils from me, and become part of my Mind Body Wellness Tribe (you get cool goodies, and loads on info and support, so it’s awesome!) then click HERE.

 

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Is everyone but YOU getting pregnant?

How to deal with the pain and disappointment when everyone around you is getting pregnant

 I LOVE this blog by Katie Ryan from Newcastle. This sums up exactly how MANY of my clients feel….have you ever felt like this? Lets try and remove the social stigma associated with not being able to conceive and just support each other – learn from each other – and walk alongside each other during this difficult time.

When you first start trying to conceive and you see a pregnant belly, you grin knowingly at yourself and think “That will be me soon”.

Then the months go by and you start to feel stuck in the slow lane, watching other women zoom by and get pregnant while the only thing you’re growing is a burning hunk of fertility road rage.

Pregnancy announcements go from squeal and hug fests to stab-me-in-the-heart-athons.

You start making up excuses not to go to baby showers because you should be buying adorable clothes for your own little one by now.

 And if one more friend says she got pregnant when she wasn’t even trying, you might need a good lawyer.

So how can you keep it together when everyone else is getting what you want and you’re still waiting?

#1 Feel the pain

You can’t avoid pain altogether but you can keep it to a minimum. Feel the pain. Breathe it in. Let it flow through you and out again. Trying to push the hurt away just creates a block for you. When you hear someone’s baby news, go somewhere private and absorb it. See yourself breathe it in as if you were inhaling a cloud of light. Imagine it flowing into your body then out again when you exhale. Repeat until the pain subsides. You don’t need to hold onto the hurt, you just need to acknowledge it and let it pass through. Feel it briefly now so you’re not hurt by it forever.

#2 Say thank you

The universe has just reminded you of what you want. You think about having a baby so much that of course there are going to be babies all around you. That’s how the universal laws work: you get more of what you focus on. There’s a place inside you where you can take the jealousy, bitterness and anger and turn it into gratitude. Seriously. There’s a little place in your heart from where you can whisper to the universe “Thank you for helping me remember what I want and why I’m working so hard to be healthy and fertile”. Then use all those feelings as motivation to keep doing what you need to do, like eating whole foods, drinking lots of water and keeping your stress levels low.

#3 Level up

Every choreographed baby announcement and glittering gender reveal party is helping you to get on the same wavelength as those women who are having babies. It’s the fertility equivalent of rolling around naked on a pile of $1 bills and imagining they’re $100 bills – it’s helping you get in the zone for what you want. Energetically speaking, the more time you spend with babies and pregnant women, the closer you get to being pregnant and having your own baby. Not to mention it’s great preparation and learning so you’re in the know when your time comes. So open your arms and your heart to all the baby shower invitations and visits with newborns – they’re getting you closer and closer to your own.

#4 Don’t take it personally

I know it hurts because they have what you want but you can’t compare their situation with yours. Everyone takes their own path to parenthood and whether it’s taken them a month or a decade to get pregnant, they still deserve it. Just like high school, making a baby is an “eyes on your own paper” kind of event. Forget what everyone else is doing, what worked for them, and which pill, potion or lubricant you can try next. You have to find your own way by unravelling the unique baby recipe that is just for you and your partner.  

#5 Remember who’s in charge

The most important thing to remember is that you are in charge of your own fertility. You have the power to bring your little one through and the best thing you can do is connect with your body’s wisdom and follow what it tells you. Slow down, make space, get to know yourself. Listen to the inner voice that has all your answers. Remember that health comes before fertility so get both of you healthy.

If you think you’ve tried everything to make your baby, I can guarantee you there’s more that you can do. Let that be a comforting thought: you’re not done yet, you just need to find the missing puzzle piece.

by KATIE RYAN

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Find Your Core Values

 

Do you feel like you are STUCK and can’t move forward in to the life of your DREAMS?

Do you have an idea of how to live your best life, but are feeling like there is something holding you back?

Has there been this feeling within you for a while now that you need …..something different….but you don’t know what that is?

 

These feelings are ALL TOO FAMILIAR to me! They often come at periods where I also start to feel  bored and like I am not living my life at 100%. Do you feel like that?
The feelings I get are this deep down irritation, where I feel like I need to wriggle my way through a small under ground cave that is narrow and dark and scary. LOL! I know, dramatic, but I think in pictures!

What helps me to shake these feeling when they come up is to go back to making sure I am living from my Core Values. Most people can’t verbally express what their Core Values are – they have a feeling of what they are, and they will certainly know what they are when prompted with examples, but most people can’t put them into words.

The difference between the truly successful and satisfied people and yourself, is that they have learned the skill of checking in with their Core Values – regularly – and being able to hold them in the front of their mind. Once you know what they are, then you can use them as your baseline for every situation you find yourself in and choice you need to make.
Your Core Values will make you feel excited, motivated, peaceful, happy, content, inspired etc

So when you know what you are working from, you can then size up anyone or anything to make sure they fit inside your value system.

 

Let me give you an example:
Let’s say my Core Values are – Adventure, Trust, Peace, Friendship and Solitude (a mixed bag here!)
These are important to me in this particular period of my life (remember your Core Values will change, kind of like seasons change.) So let’s say I am hating my job. I mean, I wake up every morning and I dread rolling out of bed. I am sad as I have to leave and as I take the train into work each day I get cranky with the fellow travellers. My boss I cannot stand, and I have nothing in common with my co-workers and I don’t engage with them. (this sounds awful!)
My job is at a desk and I am an analyst so I don’t talk to anyone all day, I just work from a PC.

Let’s look at my Core Values again: Adventure, Trust, Peace, Friendship and Solitude
In this particular scenario I can see that “solitude” lines up – which is why I probably picked this role to begin with.
Adventure….? Um that’s a “no”. There is none of that here.
Peace….? There is peace in the fact I talk to no-one, but I don’t feel peaceful in my spirit.
Trust….? I don’t know my co-workers. So there is no trust. Only in myself.
Friendship….? That’s a clear “no”.

So from this example I can see that I know why I picked this job, and that perhaps it has run its season? I now know why I am miserable every day, and I know what I am looking for in a job that I apply for.

So then I need to MANIFEST what kind of job I want to work in….(we will cover MANIFESTING next time)

So now it is up to YOU – click on the link below and work thru the booklet to find your Core Values and start living your life on purpose!

 

CORE VALUES

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Top 5 #postnatalhacks to THRIVE in the Postnatal week

 

 

Thank GOD you have finally had the baby!

No more pain in the lower back, you can get up and down from the couch easily and you can eat whatever food you like again without the risk of salmonella, reflux or throwing up! Now that the baby is here you can go back to feeling normal again – right?
WRONG! To be honest for most mamas they feel like they have been hit by a bus in those first few weeks after bub comes home!
Carrying a baby for 9+mths and then birthing (no matter which way they arrive) is the most intense experience a woman can go through – even if it is serene and calm. So, it is imperative that we acknowledge the rite of passage and give it some space to sink in.

Traditional cultures get it right – they look after their new mamas by inviting aunts, grandmothers, sisters or cousins to be on standby to help tend to mama’s needs and make sure she and baby are doing okay and resting and recuperating. There is always someone on hand to help, or do the jobs that need doing. Some mamas here in Australia are lucky to have their mum or sisters around to help out. But what happens to a mum that has emigrated or has no family close by? Or what if they feel like they can’t possibly ask a neighbour for help?

If you want to THRIVE in the postnatal weeks (and not merely survive with baby-spew stains, hair a mess and a sore neck) then here are my top 5 #postnatalhacks to make it through the postnatal period in one piece

  1. Make sure the food you eat is healthy for you.
    It is hard to make sure you feed yourself at all, let alone feed yourself well in the first few weeks when your full attention is on your new baby. Many mums reach for easy to make foods like pasta and toast, and wonder why they feel sluggish and tired. Feeding yourself well will help your energy levels, your milk supply and your mental health. It is worth putting 1% of your focus into buying well at the grocery store and making sure you have snacks that you can eat with one hand (fruit salad already cut up, protein balls, smoothies to name a few).
    There are many women who suffer with food intolerance prior to having a baby, then during pregnancy seem “fine” and then are shocked to realise that their food intolerances have returned after baby arrives. If you notice a food intolerance (gas, bloating, nausea, hives, rash, headaches, diarrhea etc) then pay attention to it! It will not magically disappear, and you MUST address it at some point. So if you think that you must eat milk for calcium, but you know it doesn’t sit right in your gut, avoid it for a while – and allow your body to settle down. (Take a calcium supplement if you are really concerned about it). If you know that eating tomatoes makes you feel sick (even though you like it) then avoid it to stop feeling sick. Sometimes “healthy food” is not healthy for you at a particular time in your life. Learn to listen to your body and adjust accordingly. It won’t be forever, just for a time.
    If possible ask friends to bring a fruit salad or a stir fry instead of a baby gift in the first few weeks (let’s face it, how many muslin wraps and baby toys do you really need?) A meal you can reheat, or a healthful snack you can enjoy while your friend gives baby a cuddle is a much better gift, don’t you think?

 

  1. Drink loads of water – I’m not a coffee drinker, so this one is easy for me, but you who indulge in the “liquid gold” will know that caffeine affects your mood, your energy levels and your milk supply. Stay away from it – you were avoiding it in pregnancy anyway (right?) So if you feel like you “need a coffee to wake up” this is a good indication it isn’t good for you, so stop it now! And don’t switch to decaf – for goodness’ sake, decaf is worse…. it’s not what nature intended, so just avoid it altogether. Allow your hormones to rebalance and find a natural rhythm with sleep and wake cycles without messing it all up with coffee.
    Drinking water will help you digest your food better, will nourish every part of your body, will help with flushing out toxins and drugs from labour, will help with aching muscles, will help you feel more energetic, will help you think more clearly, will help stop sugar cravings (which helps you lose baby weight)….need I go on?
    And those who drink soft drink – I haven’t forgotten you either! Soft drink has zero nutritional value, and is in fact VERY bad for you. It is liquid lollies. Stop it. I have nothing else to say on this.
    Okay so drink water. At least 2.5L per day if you are an average sized. A little more if you are bigger than average or it is summer. And if you are feeding make sure there is a glass of water in an easy to reach position. This will give you an 8 glasses of water per day (if you are feeding every 3 hours). Filtered water is best, so invest in a purifier for the home and teach your kids early on the importance of clean, filtered drinking water.
    This isn’t rocket science. You already know this. So just do it. And feel better J
    Adding a drop of dōTERRA lemon, lime or grapefruit essential oil will freshen the taste and purify the water at the same time. Did you know that Grapefruit oil can help with easing inflammation, weight gain, and sugar cravings and is considered a natural stress-fighter, anti-inflammatory,antioxidant and anticarcinogenic? Just one drop in a 1litre of water every day can make a huge positive impact on your health.
    Do you need to INCREASE your milk supply? I recommend 3 fantastic essential oils for a little milky boost: Basil, Fennel and Clary Sage. If you were able to get your hands on my Labour Oil (available in clinic) prior to birth, then keep using this oil blend in your postnatal weeks. Containing clary sage as its base ingredient, it is a superior oil to balance for your hormones, helps your uterus shrink back to normal size and assists in milk production. Great for when you have hadbreastfeeding a c-section and your milk takes longer to come in. Basil and/or Fennel are excellent for milk production – use twice per day, about 2 drops in 5ml coconut oil and massage over breasts (avoid areola and nipples) and belly.
    You could also make your own Fennel Milky Tea with doTERRA’s oils – steep lavender and lemon-balm herbs in boiling water for 5mins. Strain. Add 1 drop doTERRA fennel to each cup.
    Order these oils HERE.

  2. Get a Postnatal massage every week for 6 weeks – everyone knows how important it is to look after yourself. But rarely do I see new mums who can do this well. The mums who come into my clinic that thrive in the postnatal months are the ones who take the time to PLAN their postnatal experience and don’t just “see what happens”. I have never met a woman who planned their postnatal months who didn’t have a great experience. But I meet women all the time who haven’t planned for success and are drowning in new motherhood.
    Postnatal massage will firstly help with the aching muscles that often comes from carrying a baby for 9mths, delivering baby, and carrying said baby for hours upon hours per day. When you are exhausted from interrupted sleep, your entire system becomes more stooped in posture, (your tummy muscles are weak, which makes your back arch a little more and your shoulders droop forward, and you will no doubt lock out your knees too.)

    Physically it is a no brainer – massage makes you feel better in your body. But the real benefits I think are in the weekly social interaction with a health professional who is trained to listen, support and guide you. You get to vent, cry, rejoice and express how you are truly feeling (to someone who is impartial). The therapist will listen, celebrate, support and encourage you. All whilst your body is being gently stretched, pampered, pummeled and covered in delicious smelling essential oils to calm your nerves and ease your mind. Studies have shown just 20mins per week can help reduce stress hormones in the body – imagine what 60mins can do!

  1. Go for a gentle walk each day. It is important that you read the word GENTLE and follow this. In my opinion the postnatal weeks should not be spent sweating, boot-camping and “getting your fitness back”!
    These are weeks/months that your vital energy needs to come back to balance, muscles that have stretched and ligaments that are weakened take time to strengthen again. Pushing yourself will often lead to exhaustion and the more serious condition of adrenal fatigue.

    You have nothing to prove here mama!

    Give yourself a good 8 weeks before you start to even think about “getting back into shape” – I mean, where is the fire? Your body will return to a new kind of normal (let’s be honest, you have just given birth to a human, this human could go on to change the world, so lets give the experience some space!)You will learn to eat differently – especially if you are breastfeeding. You will have a different wake / sleep cycle for the best part of a year. You will need more energy and need to think about how you can distribute your energy wisely.

  2. Ask for help!
    Take it from a woman who has been there, done that. This is probably one of the hardest things to do. I know personally I found it very hard to ask for help, because I was so afraid of being perceived as “failing” or not being good as a mother. It has taken me 15 years to realise that it isn’t important what other people think. Hopefully you don’t care either! But if you do find yourself wondering “do they think I am a good mum?” OR “Am I the worst mother ever?” Then I really want you to talk about your feelings, to your partner, a friend or a perinatal therapist. Stopping the negative self-talk EARLY is a sure fire way of managing the postnatal months with ease.
    IF you are a feisty, independent, self reliant kinda gal, then you will no doubt have a “can-do” attitude that others can see! They might be relutant to offer to help, for fear of offending you (or getting their head bitten off!) Asking for help is a sign of strength – and people LOVE TO HELP! So let them:

    Ask your neighbour to cook a meal.
    Ask your friends to bring over food when they visit – instead of baby clothes.
    Ask your partner to cook dinner at least three times per week – even if he is working! (You are working too mama!)
    When in-laws or grandparents visit ask them to hang out the laundry.
    Call the ABA or Trescillian or Karitane – they are amazing support services who want to see you THRIVE!

Mama, I want you to THRIVE. I want you to be a Modern Gal and know that she needs to take it slowly, nourish herself, make positive choices for her body and life and know that she has a support system around her, if only she will allow it.

For those who have passed through the postnatal months – do you have more #postnatalhacks to share?