How to use your emotions to feel incredibly good
How would you rate your Emotional Wellness on a scale of 1-10?
8-10 – my emotions are fairly balanced and even. Sure I am like most women and will feel irritated at times, but I am reliable and stable and think clearly and reasonably most of the time.
5-7 – I tend to go up and down,mostly even, but I can usually bring myself back to normal after a while (food / wine helps). I am more happy than sad, hardly get angry (although sometimes the kids push me to the verge of being a T-Rex), but I think I’m not as bad as others I hear about. I would say I am pretty much middle of the road, and whilst life is okay, I have everything I want, there are still times when I get sad for no reason or get snippy at people.
3-4 – I am quite up and down most of the time and I get anxious / moody / depressed at periods of time for sure. I drink probably more than I should. I don’t exercise much and I really feel like life is difficult. I definitely eat more than I would like, and it is probably “emotional eating”. I feel sad a lot. And I sometimes wonder why life is so hard.
1-2 – I can’t handle my emotions going up and down all the time – actually I wish they would go up so I can feel good and confident and excited about life! I have been on anti-depressants for a really long time, I don’t trust myself off them. I have a lot of anxiety and have a psych that I see a lot – this is my saving grace.
It’s true, you may feel overwhelmed by the strength of your emotions at times, but the fact is this society we live in is trying to make you fit a mold of being “even and level”…however a vibrant woman is like a flowing river. Sometimes meandering, sometimes rushing, sometimes there are rapids, and sometimes quiet pools of reflection. Learning to listen to your energy body – both physical and emotional – will help you to break the cycle of the ups and down, and give you a way forward when you are feeling hopeless.
Learning to listen to and respond to your Physical & Emotional Body
Are you getting a sore neck and shoulders more often than not? Do you have questionable tummy issues? Do you get tension headaches and feel stressed and on edge a lot? Heart Palpitations that are not a “heart problem”?
These are all signs of emotional imbalance…and if left unchecked, will only get worse.
Emotional Wellness & Intelligence means you are aware of your emotions, know what they mean, know what physical symptoms are related to, know why they are there, and how to use them – and you NEVER try to squash them down.
Instead, you tame them and make them work for you.
Your body is a biofeedback system that tells you when something isn’t quite right – so physical symptoms are the window to your emotional body. Learning how to use your physical sensations to gauge your emotional health and achieve mastery over them is a practice, and is an unfolding. It doesn’t happen overnight, and usually it comes after a period of feeling flat, uninspired and lacking zest for life.
When you are in this season it can feel frightening and like you will never return to a life of balance and pleasure and excitement…but be assured, you are standing at the precipice of blossoming, if only you will have the courage to keep moving through…..
Emotions can be affected by:
* food (some foods really affect you in the brain first, and the body later – so you may not even realise what you are eating is directly responsible for your mood.)
* dehydration (most people are chronically dehydrated, increasing your water intake to 2L-3L per day will have an immediate impact – try it!)
* lack of exercise / or too much (hard core exercise in a stressed-out person is counter productive, and can make your stress levels much worse. If you are a couch potato, then you already know this is no good. Get up. Gently walk around the block…and listen to Tony Robbins – you need to move your ass!)
* hormonal imbalance (which can be thrown out by stress, its a vicious cycle, so get your food and water and exercise on track and watch your cycles…if you aren’t regular with a 4-5 day bleed each month, then see a naturopath, or try doTERRA’s Phytoestrogen supplement. It is a god-send for me.)
* too much stress (and not enough tools to help eradicate it.) Self-help is everywhere. Try a yoga class (yin, not Vinyasa/Power) attend a meditation class, use calming essential oils like doTERRA’s Lavender Peace/Serenity or Peace blends.)
* your environment (empaths know what this means!) The people around you can greatly impact your emotions. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and balanced. Stay away from the drainers, and the ones who are bitchy or who bitch about other people to you.
* physical connection (sensual / non sexual touch works wonders for mood.) Holding hands, cuddling with partner or kids, or having a cuddle with your dog/cat is a great way to increase feel good hormones in your brain/body.Ask your partner for a sensual breast massage using doTERRA’s Whisper blend. And tell him “no sex, just touching” – he will be beside himself!
* chemicals (drugs, perfumes, skin care, cleaning products). Ever had a cleaning headache from the bathroom cleaners you use? Have you noticed it can instantly it affect your mood, giving you a crappy headache and making you sleepy. The same is true for many perfumes – these are a chemical cocktail of toxins that are just waiting to get into your airways and flood your body thru the blood. They have a HUGE impact on the body. Steer clear and using a Pure-Fume like doTerra’s Whisper blend, or Patchouli or Wild Orange.
* Music (radio, news, podcasts, training vids on You Tube) Listening to people whinging about love-lost is not going to inspire a happy mood. So crank up Bon Jovi and rock that mood out. Or maybe Beyonce is more your thing. And get rid of those talk-back radio stations that are filthy or low-brow and encourage stupidity! Also cut back on the violent and salacious tv shows you insist on binge watching. The same goes for reality “fight-fest” tv. What you watch and listen to will affect your mood, and affect your energy field, and you may not even notice it until it is too late.
* memory – I dare you to open a photo album and walk down memory lane and look at your history. See where you came from, re-live the good times. Do this with your kids. Or play the game “remember when ….?” Kids love to be reminded about fun times together, so do this often.
The key is to listen with attention to your body and to learn how to nourish and care for her.
Emotions as Guideposts:
Knowing how to use your emotions as guideposts is the sign you are turning into your Wise Woman. She is that part of you that is patient, kind, loving and caring to Self. She isn’t afraid to feel, or express, but she knows why she feels the way she does, and can manage her moods and her ups and down with grace and care.
Allowing the Wise Woman to come forth:
How long has it been since you sat in stillness and listened to your inner wisdom? Your Wise Woman is that part of yourself. She is gentle, so her wisdom isn’t like a punch in the gut – it is that instinctive “knowing”. Like when you have a newborn bub and she is crying her heart out, and you just know how to soothe her and what she likes.
Or when you have a major life decision to make, and your head wants to keep telling you which way to go, but your “gut” says something else….and you go with the head, knowing full well you should have gone with your gut. That is her. She is your Wise Woman.
The best way to re-introduce yourself to her is to begin a daily ritual of saying “thank you for being here” and acknowledging her in your life. When you ignore your gut instinct, you are essentially ignoring a part of yourself.
Take notice of when you suddenly get a sore tummy out of no-where – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you finish a massive day at work and your body is aching everywhere – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you feel frustration rising up inside of you – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you totally lose your shit at the kids/dog/partner – what is it trying to tell you?
You already know the answer, but you still don’t do anything to change your circumstance. The Wise Woman starts to arise when you begin to “know” and she is in full force when you start to make changes due to the knowing.
Your emotional guidance system was created FOR YOU, not to be AGAINST YOU. So allow the feelings and sensations to rise up – take notice, and ask the question “what do I need?”
And let your Wise Woman guide you.