Author: belle

Posted on

Scrub your Socials- take your power back

Starting off the new year and taking your power back with a digital clean up clean up can be the most important thing you do at the start of the new year! Take your power back by removing negativity in your Socials, and removing the dead weight in your Inbox!
The collective energy for us at this time, is to restore, to connect and to enjoy. Why not use this time to restore your own energy, connect to those things that matter to you, and to embrace the idea that our life is for us to enjoy.

Here are my top tips when it comes to socials and digital life, so that you can clean up the energy in this space. Remember – we get energy strands of connection in the online world, just like we would in peson.
EVERY person you see on social media you will create an energy strand with.
EVERY person who scrolls your feed will create an energy strand with you.

Do you want that? Regularly clearing out your online space is a healthy part of your energetic hygiene practices. Just like if you went to a pub, you would come home and have a shower…consider this the same routine.
Cleanse
Release
Renew your boundaries!


My Top 5 Tips take your power back with a digital clean up:


1. Scrub your socials:
Go thru all your socials and remove any account that doesn’t give you good feels when you see it.
This includes people as well as biz accounts (but we will get to that in Step 3).
If it isn’t an account that LIGHTS YOU UP …its gone!
Remove it ASAP and get that lower vibration out of your field. Otherwise, it will continue to drag you down.
It happens gradually over time, without you even realising, and one day you declare to the world “I’m going off FB / IG for a while in order to rest and recharge”.
Um really? Why not just stop using it before announcing to the world you are over it? (It’s a bit of a bugbear of mine!)

You see, this kind of behaviour comes from a lack of boundaries in this department, and you honestly only have yourself to blame. However – we don’t do “blame” in my world, we simply LEARN and don’t look back. (I think perhaps a trigger releasing session would help in this case though!)

So here is your new mantra:

I get to decide what is in my feed

What I click on, the algorithm decides I like

I must be diligent about what I click on

I get to control my experience

If I don’t like what someone is posting I SCROLL on, OR I delete / mute / unfollow / block etc

My socials. My choice!

Never again will you feel whiny and in your victim mode about how “bad” social media is for you!

Personally, I love IG as I can follow hashtags I’m truly interested in, and that inspire me and teach me.

Everything else is a no-go for me and my mental health. This includes “friends”, or family who I am afraid I will offend if I unfollow. (And honestly, how often do you see these so-called ‘friends’ anyway? Would you share a meal with them? That’s what I ask myself. If I wouldn’t then I wont allow them into my energetic online field either. Another Q to ask yourself – if you wouldn’t share a meal with them, are they really a friend? Does it matter in the grand scheme of things if you removed them from your digital life?)

2. unsubscribe.
We get hundreds of emails every day – so be discerning about what you will accept in your inbox. If you’re anything like me you have signed up for a discount on a shopping platform and keep receiving their newsletters. I also have well-meaning sign-ups where I wholeheartedly decide I will be interested in a particular website and its offerings and then promptly never read another email from that site ever again. And yet they keep sending me emails!
My brain likes to pursue many a rabbit hole, and I get really interested in topics for short periods of time. Then I am over it. The dopamine hit wears off. Are you like that too? Well, the time is now for you to start cleaning out your emails and only keeping those that actually add value to your life – like mine.

OR not.

The choice always remains yours – so embrace your power to choose and decide what you want bombarding your inbox. It does take a fair bit of time, so I suggest putting on some music, or a podcast or watching Netflix and doing it simultaneously. That way you can just keep powering through the ‘unsubcribes’ and GET IT DONE.

3. unfollow/unfriend.
This is a tough one, as it pulls on the heart strings doesn’t it? I can’t tell you how many times a client has said they simply must stay “friends” with a family member out of fear they will offend them if they don’t.

STOP

DOING

THIS

This is the very definition of giving your power away. I didn’t know until a short time ago that we can actually mute a Facebook ‘friend’ and we won’t see their posts anymore. I love this as it means that you don’t have to completely say ‘goodbye’, just ‘let’s have a break for now’.

I know that it feels uncomfortable when you make these small decisions about a friendship or family connection, but it is really about being kind to both yourself and them. Your negativity – even in private – still affects the energy strands that connect you both. So what you are doing is removing your trigger so you can take back control of your own energy. That’s got to be a good thing – right?
A few years ago my cousin’s wife unfriended me, and I didn’t realise for a while. It definitely made our relationship non-existant as I haven’t heard from her or my cousin ever since. I have never tried to contact her again as I feel awkward and uncomfortable knowing I’m not her ‘cup of tea’ – which is okay. We never had anything in common, except she married my favourite and much loved cousin. It’s a shame, because her one small act caused me some heartache, and means that my kids don’t know hers. Remember – be kind. To yourself and others.

Be ruthless with ‘friends’ that you don’t even know. If they post things one time that are questionable, or directly opposite to your values then consider whether this is the content you want to consume. Some people vent and it triggers your own stuff. (Maybe it’s time to do an Emotion Code session though?) That’s ok. Cut them some slack and start looking at why it affected you so much. If they do it again, and it really annoys you, offends you, or crosses a line – it’s time to unfriend. No one wants to leave their front door open to angry, bigoted, racist, keyboard warriors, conspiracy theorists etc…so think of your account as your front door to your own energy field.
You need to put a line of defense between you both.

4. mute. I’ve mentioned it before but it needs its whole paragraph and time in the sun. Instagram has a mute button, and it is totally fine to use it. Just see how when you use it, that your life doesn’t end!
But you can use your own mute button on many things – like not replying to a message as soon as you receive one. You can choose to mute yourself during a conversation, and just hang up and plead “it dropped out” if queried.
Muting yourself means you get to decide what comes out of your mouth. It also means you retain your own power. There is no rule book that says you “must” respond. So choose when you do.

5. rest. I know you think that sitting on the couch and mindlessly scrolling for 3 hours is resting. It is not.

It is scrolling, and it is not mindless.

It is very mindful – and not in the best way.

When you are scrolling away you often lose track of time, and you ignore your kids and animals, and probably forget to do the chores around the house. Bbe intentional about your scrolling. But don’t call it rest. Cos it ain’t.
Resting is when your body AND mind get a break. (This is also not called sleep).

Resting involves an intention to slow down, and to just be in the present moment. My favourite way to rest is in my hammock with a blanket (if it is cooler) and a pillow under my head and knees. I love the feeling of swaying gently. I often don’t read in the hammock, I just look at the trees and the sky.
Some people say that resting can be reading a book – but the mind is still active.
Others say resting can be swimming – but the body is still active.

Many people find it hard to just sit and do nothing for a period of time, except breathe and be. So i invite you to set a timer for 3mins and just allow yourself to be in the present moment. Lay down. Watch the clouds. Listen to the birds. Just rest. And when the timer goes off, set it again for another 3mins. You’ll be amazed how quickly time flies doing nothing.
Resting is the biggest gift you can give yourself in this busy life we live. So choose to consciously do it for a few minutes per day – and watch how your entire perception will shift.

Start today

Scrubbing your digital energy field is an act of self love. Start today and notice how less-stressed and anxious you become. Removing the negativity, the draining, the anger, the complaining, the comparison and the sense of missing out can help restore your balance and your enjoyment of life. When you become ruthless at guarding your own energy, you will find the rest becomes easier and life becomes happier.

Good luck xx

Posted on

Frozen shoulder and healing your mindset

To me, it is no surprise that researchers have proven what we massage therapists already know: soft tissue massage beats a gadget or device any day of the week!

“Massage therapy has been my life’s work since I was twenty years old. I breathe it, I live it and I believe it works. However along my journey I have been guilty of wishing I had a hand-held device I could use on clients that would help them (and also give my thumbs and wrists a rest!) There are many gadgets available globally, that claim magical healing powers, and I have used a few to limited clinical success, however, I always come back to what I know – there is healing power in our hands, and when used in conjunction with our understanding of anatomy and functional movement, plus a little intuitive magic, we can encourage the body to heal itself in a far more effective way than a machine or gadget can.”

Belle Flowers
It may not all be physical. Sometimes pain is coming from thought patterns.

Frozen shoulder is a fairly common complaint that causes pain and disability in moving the arm up or behind the body. It can really affect your daily life – think about it: can’t put a bra on, catch reach above your head to the clothesline, driving a car becomes difficult.
Traditional treatment includes anti-inflammatory drugs, cortisone shots, physio, and drastically – surgery.
However before you get to all this, perhaps there is a less intense option that you may want to try first?

A Toolkit of Solutions

A good remedial therapist will usually have a toolbox full of techniques they have learned and adapted to their treatment routine. Possible techniques could be energy healing, stretching, yoga, mindfulness, kinesiology and taping/strapping. An excellent remedial therapist will understand the metaphysical connection between mind and body, and as such will be able to assist with deconstructing the limiting thought/pattern/behaviour that has contributed to the injury or issue.

Metaphysical Reasons for Pain

Pain or stiffness in the shoulder will often result from “carrying the world on your shoulders”, feeling over-burdened, and being weighed down by the mental load of your responsibilities. Too often people perceive their responsibilities to be solely reliant on them, not asking for help, nor being able to see that their burden has oftentimes been due to their own beliefs. Becoming rigid in your thinking about yourself, and your responsibilities can often be the root cause of your pain. Remember your shoulder didn’t “freeze” overnight. It took months or years to get to this point. It can begin to thaw, when your thinking habits relax too.
If you are a “helper” and have a lot of people to care for, you are a sitting duck for frozen shoulder. Likewise, anyone who feels validated by being in service to people. Someone who is always feeling a little insecure of themselves, and “over-gives” could have shoulder stiffness or twinges that may turn into something more over time. People-pleasers often get frozen shoulder, or pain in their shoulders too.

Neck pain is often the result of your inability to “change your point of view” regarding a person or situation in your life. OR even about yourself. The rigidity of mind is the real pandemic in this world – people seem to believe their thoughts are absolute truth, without even questioning them.

“The first thing I do when working with a client with neck or shoulder pain is to question how they see their world. Their point of view is often what is contributing to their pain.”

Belle Flowers

Every single client has a fixed mindset when it comes to challenges, or how they see the world – yet with a little gentle probing, they can begin to unravel their minds strings, and release their tight grasp on how they see the world – letting go is all about releasing, taking the hands off the wheel, trusting and being open to more possibilities.

The Research

The research however is clear – soft tissue massage is more effective for managing injuries that have resulted in neck and radiating arm pain, than ultrasound (commonly used by a physio). Simply applying an ultrasound may “feel” like something is happening that we can’t see, but it probably ain’t worth your time. OR money.

Tender points in the muscles of your arm may also increase the sensation of neck or arm pain, meaning that massage earlier in the injury’s timeline could help decrease the duration of pain and subsequent loss of range of movement. This is often the case in “frozen shoulder” issues. Left too long, the pain becomes unbearable, and eventually, movement is impossible. It is a cumbersome healing process, rather tedious at times, but massage therapy is and should be, the first approach at the slightest sign of loss of shoulder movement. (Of course, get your scans done, and rule out contributing factors).

Mental Health is impacted by chronic pain

Because chronic pain causes a risk for decline in mental health, it is important to begin your healing process as soon as you cam. Dont put it off! Massage has been shown to increase levels of serotonin (which stabilises feelings of happiness and mood) and dopamine (helps you to feel pleasure, motivation and satisfaction), the obvious choice for injury treatment and recovery is soft tissue massage, alongside common rehab routines such as stretching, strengthening, ice and rest. But let me add one more not-so-common treatment for frozen shoulder pain – intuitive healing and counselling.

What next?

Releasing you of the limiting beliefs causing your body to lock up, stiffen and freeze should be paramount – so it doesn’t happen again! Read more about Emotion Code healing here.

Belle is a holistic pracitioner who works with the physical, emotional,mental and spiritual layers of a person. No session is the same. Just like no person is the same as anyone else.

Talk to Belle today about how she might help you.

REFERENCES

Michael Costello, Emilio ‘Louie’ J. Puentedura, Josh Cleland & Charles D. Ciccone (2016) The immediate effects of soft tissue mobilization versus therapeutic ultrasound for patients with neck and arm pain with evidence of neural mechanosensitivity: a randomized clinical trial, Journal of Manual & Manipulative Therapy, 24:3, 128-140, DOI: 10.1179/2042618614Y.0000000083

TIFFANY FIELD, MARIA HERNANDEZ-REIF, MIGUEL DIEGO, SAUL SCHANBERG & CYNTHIA KUHN (2005) CORTISOL DECREASES AND SEROTONIN AND DOPAMINE INCREASE FOLLOWING MASSAGE THERAPY, International Journal of Neuroscience, 115:10, 1397-1413, DOI: 10.1080/00207450590956459

Posted on

Pregnancy and Depression

There is hope. You can feel better.

Spotlight on DEPRESSION in PREGNANCY and POSTPARTUM:



Pregnancy is a really special time and one that can brig such joy. BUT let’s be real – in this covid world, pregnancy can be tinged with fear. And fear can lead to feelings of depression. You might have an unwanted pregnancy; be in an abusive relationship; or be feeling unwell.
There are so many reasons why depression comes knocking, but there isnt a lot of help out there, and many women feel ashamed that they are feeling the way they do.


Belle is an expert in working with pregnant women, helping them feel safe, calm and in control. And she can support you if you are experiencing depression – no matter the cause.
Belle explains:
“Research by my hero Dr Tiffany Field (Uof Miami) has shown that massage therapy is superior to muscle relaxation or mindfulness in its effect on bringing down levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in women who have 4mths of pregnancy massage. “

A simple massage with experienced hands not only helps to reduce cortisol but INCREASE serotonin and dopamine (neurotransmitters).


POSTPARTUM:

As many as 30% of women experience postnatal depression in the first 3mths following childbirth. In another study by Dr Field, it was shown that mums experienced LESS anxiety after a 5-week period of massage therapy each week of only 30mins.

What about the babies?

The babies were found to have HIGHER birth weight and a lower chance of premature birth AND lower cortisol levels, too after having experienced massage whilst in utero!



How can Belle help you?

When Belle works with you during a Pregnancy massage / healing session, she brings her expert care and experience into the room. BOTH you and bub are catered to, and BOTH will experience the benefits of a 60min treatment. In the study mentioned above, the participants experienced EITHER massage, OR muscle relaxation processes, OR mindfulness practice…..in YOUR session with BELLE you will receive ALL 3 practices…..triple the benefits!


If you are anxious, depressed or just a little nervous, Belle’s healing hands and comforting approach to healing can help you to feel better. Give her a call today and begin your process of healing.

Reference:

Posted on

Intuitive Healing Massage

More than just massage – it is about releasing long-held trauma

I recently received Client feedback after an Intuitive Healing Massage:

Hi Belle, I feel so much better, I can’t thank you enough. I loved every part of your massage.
I’m feeling a little tight and sore still and have been using my heat pack but definitely better than I have in months.
Im looking forward to my next appointment in your new rooms in cronulla.

Sue 48yrs.

Sue came to see me because she had heard I did things a little differently in my approach to healing in my clinic! She was anxious to see her usual remedial massage therapist, because the one she had been seeing often gave her bruises (she bruises easily : key indicator of nervous system dysregulation) and she knew she was in for days of pain after the massage.
Her pain spots were in her upper neck shoulders area, and she was stiff and sore all over. Her stress levels were high, and she was not feeling like herself.
I booked her in for an Intuitive Healing Massage (NOT REMEDIAL per se) because as so often happens a person comes in for a remedial massage, but what they actually need is Trauma Releasing/ Healing.
The body stores every memory and every trauma in the muscles, joints, tissues, cells of the body. Sometimes they release on their own, sometimes they hold more and more energy. This is when you get that weighed down and heavy feeling, or you develop “40yr old shoulder” pain. etc.
It creeps in, long after the trauma / event has passed, and you don’t connect the dots.
However your body always remembers. Your body is the wisest of creations, and knows exactly what is going on and uses pain and stiffness to show you. The secret is learning the language of your body.
Pain and stiffness DOES NOT MEAN pushing thru and smashing out another PT session! (this is called distraction).When we are in our forties we cannot attack our body like we did in our twenties (and get away with it)! The body needs gentleness, space and time to unwind, relax and allow healing to come.
It DOES NOT NEED more stress and strain on the body.
Of course I explained this to Sue and she hesitated…and she thought I was reading her mind when I said “taking it slower, or stopping altogether wont make you fat” (that’s what she was thinking!)What WILL make you fatter is increasing stress hormones in the body (thru intense fitness programs designed for twenty year olds!)
In order to help the body heal we slow down, tone and regulate the nervous system, release the stuck energy and give the body time to let go. Healing takes time, but you can enjoy it along the way. It doesnt need to be aggressive, nor does it need to be painful. (and once it is released you will be amazed at how good you feel, and how you CAN go back to more intense workouts).
Pain does not equal gain when it comes to healing (although sometimes facing your deepest self feels painful.)
An intuitive healing massage is more than just remedial massage, deep tissue therapy and a little reiki on the side. It is about trauma releasing exercises, breathwork and meditation too. It is about curating a specialised treatment for YOUR body and mind so that YOU begin to heal in the MOST beneficial way possible.
If you have been having regular remedial massage that is HARD and makes you cry a little – then you are probably doing it wrong.
(There is a place for a massage like this, but not for middle aged women who are stressed out, burned out, fatigued, peri-menopausal and feeling at the end of their tether!)
Kindness and gentleness is the KEY to healing your aches and pains. Particularly if you have every test under the sun and the doc has come back to you with “I think its just stress/anxiety/depression”. (This can be the MOST frustrating diagnosis ever because you want there to be an easy magic pill fix, but unfortunately it is going to mean a change in lifestyle, attitude and approach to heal!)
If this post has resonated for you, then I encourage you to get in touch and have a chat with me about how I can help you. There is no time like the present to start feeling as good as Sue!
Belle xx

Posted on

How to Let Go (for good)

“How do you let things go Belle?

I have tried so hard and I just cant seem to do it.”

-many clients

I get asked this on a weekly basis by people with warm, loving hearts, who have been hurt, disappointed, let down, and treated badly by the people in their life that meant something to them.

How do you let it go?

All the nasty words.

All the careless mistakes.

All the accusations.

All the time-wasting.

All the sucking the air out of the room.

All the thankless times.

How?

You just decided that enough is enough.

Your thoughts will continue to “think you” if you don’t start catching them as they arise. You will find yourself down the rabbit hole within seconds if you keep playing out the scenarios of what they did (or didnt) do, in your head.

Have you ever had THAT conversation with them, in your car, or in the mirror? Saying all the RIGHT things you SHOULD have said at the time! To REALLY show them YOU CANT BE TREATED LIKE THIS ANYMORE !!!!

Yeah. Most of us have been there at least once. If not a hundred times. You are acting subconsciously in those moments when someone is taking advantage of you, but you dont speak up. Or when you let something slide, only to feel it festering later after they have gone. OR when you get that feeling in your gut that something isnt right, but you ignore it.

Time doesnt heal – it simply pushes down your feelings to be triggered by someone else, or to fester and rise at an unwelcome time. Intentional healing heals.

It means you make a decision to not allow those thoughts air time anymore. When they come up, you acknowledge and then evaluate what is in your control. I will take you thru the steps of the #AASERTmethod of coaching on how you might tackle this major self-sabotage issue that many people go thru:

Step 1: Acknowledgeonce you identify what is happening you can then begin the process of change.

Step 2: Accept the past happened. It did. Accept it. Just stay in this place for a second. (Don’t worry, we will move on, but for now, just accept that this person DID say or do what they did. you cannot change it.

Step 3: Surrender
Give OVER. Don’t give IN. Sit within the feelings, be with them, don’t resist that they are there. Honour your feelings. Completely. Without reservation. You are angry. Feel it
You are hurt. Feel it.
You are sad. Feel it.
You are feeling what truly is. but your feelings aren’t necessarily “truth”.
There IS a BIG difference. (if you don’t know the difference between “truth” and what you are feeling being “true to you” then we can work at this step to free you from the myths of “truth”. (They are a huge sabotage issue that can keep you stuck).

Step 4: Evaluate what is in your control
Can you change the past? No. Accept it happened.
Can you change them? No. accept this is what they did/said.
Can you say something? Yes
Can you choose to ignore? Yes
Can you change how you respond to it if it happens again? Yes
Can you change their behaviour when you respond? No.
Can you control your triggers? Yes (good) No (then THIS is where we work together to release them)

Step 5: Reframe how you think about it(this is the real step of healing in the process)When you look at the issue without emotion, you can see a different point of view.
What have you learned about yourself? (triggers? preferences? values?)
What have you learned about them? (they’re human. They aren’t perfect. They are acting off their own values, triggers and desires.)
What have you realised is most important in this situation? (to be right, to be heard, to be apologised to, to forgive? to move forward? to move past it? to release the friendship?
Learning is the path to healing. Learn the lesson and you won’t keep having to repeat it.

Step 6: Trust (yourself) Trust (the process)
Once you have made it thru and learned the lessons then you will be free to use the #AASERTmethod quickly and easily when anything comes up for you. Trusting is NOT about having no issues, it is about knowing what to do when the issues arise. The more you clear the energy around what has been coming up, the less you will attract. The less it will come up.
When you have been through a situation that has shaken you to your core, you may not trust yourself in the beginning…but using the AASERT method, it will re-empower you and your trust in self again.

Healing takes time. The AASERT method gives you a tool to help you gain the confidence to self-heal and to be your own coach. I use both Emotion Code to release the emotions and also AASERT in my Accountability Coaching sessions in order to FAST TRACK you into an empowered place of which to move forward and ultimately LET GO!

Want to get started and save over $150 – get on it! Let that shit go and start THRIVING again!

Book your Package here

Your Fast Start package includes 45min initial coaching session plus 3 x 30min sessions to keep you on track for a month.
Each session is to be taken 1 week apart where possible (max 10 days). This will keep you motivated and committed to reaching your goals.

Why have a coach?

Because if you could have done it alone by now you would have!
A quick month of coaching could save you hundreds of hours in time wasted or money lost.

Why coach with Belle?
Belle is a woman who goes after what she wants, is a straight talker and can see through any self-sabotage blocks. She has been coaching men and women to help them achieve their own unique successes in all areas of their life since 2012.
With Belle on your side, you are assured of success. She will offer you clear guidelines for you to work towards in order to go after what you are wanting, and see real results.

What areas can I receive coaching in?

Belle is an expert in helping healers, counsellors, massage therapists, kinesiologists, nutritionists and yogis who are wanting to start their business, or start over (in a more productive and focused way).

She has 16yrs experience in social media, branding, mindset and marketing for a self employed healer. She will bring her personal experience as well as industry knowledge to help you reach your goals.

Belle can also help you to take control of your personal life, in terms of career or relationships or health and wellbeing.

Anything you are wanting to focus upon, Belle will give you the tools, the feedback and direction you need to make it happen.

You can be assured that you will receive the mentoring you need for your personal life or for your business dreams.

Are all coaches the same?
HELL NO!
Some are amazing.
Some just take your money.
Some don’t even remember what your goals are, or what is important to you.
Belle is committed to working closely with her coaching clients so they feel supported, encouraged and most of all…accountable.

Not quite sure? Book a Discovery Call. Let’s Chat.

Book a Discovery Call
See if this is right for you

Get your goals sorted and your dreams realised

tick off your goals

Posted on

Accountability Coaching

Do you feel like you lack motivation?
You’re not alone.
Many people attend a coaching or energy healing session and feel inspired to commit to new healthier life habits – only to get sick, overwhelmed, tired or disappointed by something in their life again.
At that moment, their bad habits creep back in, AND they slowly forget what they were trying to focus upon!
That’s when frustration, irritation, anger and also binge eating or drinking kicks in.
And that can make you feel even worse.Let’s not even mention when you go 0-100 in 10 secs and let rip at your kids or partner.

The struggle is real – but you don’t have to stay there.


Accountability Coaching is a supportive service offered by Belle that will help you to stay on track and reach that milestone of 90 days – this is SO important when you are wanting to create REAL and EFFECTIVE change in your life.

The research is clear: 21 days to create a new habit
21 days to reinforce that habit
another 21 days to make sure it sticks and
another 21 days to make it seem so easy.

What could you become in 90 days?
What dreams do you have for health or well-being or career?
What can you imagine your life would be like if you could build momentum and have someone supporting you (and kicking your butt) along the way?

How does Accountability Coaching work?

You will do an initial 2hr session with Belle (in-person or zoom) in order to get clarity and set priorities; clear limiting beliefs, blocks and self sabotage to reaching your goals.
Then every week you will do a 30min coaching call via phone to check in, release triggers, and keep you focused and on track.
–> 3 months <–
12 sessions
self work
workbooks

Each week you will focus on smart, measurable and achievable goals. You will have tasks to complete that are easily added to your current schedule. This will help you to avoid overwhelm and burnout.

Could you do this yourself?
Of course you could!
HAVE you done this for yourself yet?
NO!
And THIS is why you NEED an accountability coach!

You already KNOW what needs to happen.
You have the SKILLS required to reach your goals.
What you NEED is someone to believe in you, to keep you focused, and to hold you accountable each week while you tick off your list of goals.

This is for you if:
– you want to achieve your goals in the next 3 months
– you are sick and tired of making excuses
– you want to plan, execute and smash your goals!
– you are a spiritually focused person who wants to combine their masculine and feminine energies to get into flow and ease.

Are you a HELL YES?
Get started here:3 Month Accountability Coaching.

Are you a MAYBE but need more info?
Book your Clarity call here:Accountability Coaching Clarity Call

Posted on

Is your Job making you sick?

Have you ever wondered if your job is making you sick?
Whether your current way of working is keeping you in “survival mode” because of the “urgency” of all your projects and how you must act immediately and be available 24/7?

Are the constant headaches, the neck and shoulder tension, the aching lower back and the tummy bloating and pain is all a result of a really stressful job?
Is the anxiety you feel, the constant nervy feeling in your body, the restless legs and the the lack of energy all a result of your job stress?

Do you refuse to take time off even when you are sick with the snott monster and just want to sleep, because you have a fear of taking sick leave because of what other people think?

Do you push through and open your computer even when your whole body hurts?

I have worked with countless people during the pandemic and ALL of them have worked while they had virus symptoms.
ALL OF THEM.

Isn’t that a sad statistic?
It makes me wonder what kind of illness will actually justify you taking time off to rest, relax, sleep and convalesce?
I mean – how sick do you need to get in order to actually give yourself time to heal?

The problem is that we have skewed the priorities of what is important and have decided that “letting others down” is more important than recovering from an illness our bodies have never had to fight before.

If there is one time in our lives that it is important to give our bodies rest, it is during this pandemic and we have symptoms!

The hustle of having to face emergency after emergency is not limited to hospitals – it can be bosses who yell, are moody, are unpredictable and lack empathy that will create stress in your mind, which moves to your body.
Time critical projects, and the feeling that you simply MUST keep grinding otherwise your job may be on the line, builds in your system as levels of stress hormone, which puts pressure on your heart and other organs.

In my opinion Working From Home has been the WORST thing to happen to workers since industrialisation! Why? Because it means you are working from the moment you wake up – unless you have excellent work/life boundaries in place.

Hands up if you have started work at 7am, (while the house was quiet) and worked through lunch, and then quickly put washing out, then vacuumed, then picked the kids up from school and then cooked dinner and then “finished off those last few things” after 8pm?

And please don’t forget what happened to your nervous system during lockdown, when you had to work a 40+hour week AS WELL AS managing the home schooling / preschool care AND all meal times and the increase in household cleaning due to everyone being home 24/7.

Our bodies were simply not designed to operate at high intensity all the time. We are designed to rebalance, recuperate and come back to a baseline.

The question I ask is, could your job be making you sick?

The answer is a resounding YES. Look at how many companies have defibrillators in their buildings. I am not saying the relationship is causal, but I do believe that the constant stress workers are under, plus interpersonal relationship strains, financial pressure and questionable lifestyle habits all create the perfect environment for cardiac events. And that time-sensitive project may be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

I believe it is time that we started to re-prioritise how we view work and what it is doing to our wellbeing.

It is important for each worker to take personal responsibility for their own care and wellbeing. The old adage – if you don’t care about yourself, no one else will, holds true here.
This also includes employers taking responsibility for the environment they create for themselves and others.
The way we live in our modern world is very different to centuries past, however the hustle is only increasing, and the demands on our physical and mental wellbeing is increasing. There is no end in sight except for a holiday each year (if you can afford it) and then it is right back into the grind.

As someone who is living and working in their ideal career, and has created a workplace that I love to go to, I feel sad that this is not the experience of many people I work with. The majority only work because they “have to” and if they could they would retire as early as possible. Or they would work in a different industry for lower pay if they could afford it.


The feeling of being trapped by your work, or the number of hours you must work is a key ingredient that causes a spike in the stress hormones in your body and makes you feel pretty miserable in general. Cranky, irritable, poor sleep, hormonal shifts, weight gain, depression and increased anxiety are all to be expected when 5 days per week you are hating having to work, but feel that you “must”.

What can you do about it?

There are plenty of options. The first is to quit.
However, I am pretty sure that you will give me a myriad of excuses as to why this is absolutely not the solution.
The second option is to ask for a pay rise – but would more money make you like your job more?
The third option – drop the number of days you work – but can you live on a reduced income? (Most people can, they just don’t want to make those budget adjustments).
You could look for another job – but this requires effort that you may not have the energy for.
You could begin studying so you can move into the career that you dream of – but this will bring up lots of limiting beliefs and lack of confidence or self -esteem issues you have buried. And this may feel too scary to tackle right now.

^^^^^ This is the list my clients give me and all the excuses that arise when we look at those options.

Here is another way

You can choose to work on the thought patterns that make you stressed, your beliefs around work and why you keep showing up the way you do. You can release the trapped emotions that are keeping you stuck in the loop of hustle and grind. You can work on developing incredible self-esteem so you can put firm work boundaries in place which ensures rest and recovery as part of your workday.

Emotion Code and Energy Healing are the tools that WILL turn your life around. but don’t expect a magic healing in one session! There is a process you need to undergo in order to un-pack the energy strands you are holding, and to re-wire your brain to THRIVE on rest rather than STRESS!

This is why I have created a Nervous System Balance program that is especially for people who are feeling the effects of a high-stress work-life and who want to enjoy their life and start thriving again.

The program is designed to be completed over 6-8 weeks, and involves 6 90min balancing sessions. I will help you to develop a quick daily practice of simple to follow exercises that are proven to re-balance your nervous system, which will reduce the stress you feel in your body.
– identify your blocks and self-sabotage that keep you feeling stuck
– learn how to reduce the mental chatter that keeps you stressed
– sleep better
– feel more calm
– feel more in control of your life
– improve your relationships
– get your mojo back
– enjoy life again

Book your Nervous System Reset Package
Book your first program session here

Don’t wait until you get really sick before you start to take back control and turn your life around.

Posted on

Healing after Narcissistic Abuse

Did you know that energy healing, such as QHHT, Emotion Code, or Inner Child work, can support someone with PTSD or C-PTSD?

Narcissistic abuse and gaslighting are particularly trauma-causing and crazy-making forms of psychological abuse.
Living in a highly toxic relationship, particularly if there are children involved, can leave a person feeling as if their entire being has been shattered and torn apart.

There are a myriad of reasons as to why a person will enter an unhealthy relationship. However, always there are RED FLAGS that have been ignored. The key to healing is in looking at the red flags and investigating why they were overlooked – the problem becomes the solution.

Do you have C-PTSD?
* Having nightmares or flashbacks of the relationship and events you experienced with the narc person
* Feeling extreme feelings such as anxiety, nervousness, feeling jumpy, obsessive thinking, racing thoughts, feeling scared, agitated, stressed, overwhelmed, emotional, etc.
* Extreme fatigue
* Muscular or joint pains
* Difficulties controlling emotions

Quite often you will feel numb….Emotion Code can help you to start feeling in an appropriate way again.

Emotion Code techniques are proven to help those experiencing Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). This is a condition where you experience some symptoms of PTSD along with some additional symptoms, such as

  • difficulty controlling your emotions
  • feeling very angry or distrustful towards the world
  • constant feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
  • feeling as if you are permanently damaged or worthless
  • feeling as if you are completely different to other people
  • feeling like nobody can understand what happened to you
  • avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult
  • often experiencing dissociative symptoms such as depersonalisation or derealisation
  • physical symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness, chest pains and stomach aches
  • regular suicidal feelings. (https://www.mind.org.uk)

The Emotion Code helps to identify and release the trapped emotions held in your body that are causing much of the C-PTSD symptoms. I suggest engaging with a psychologist as well as experiencing 3-6 Emotion
Code sessions. The combination is very beneficial and will address how you think about what is happening to you and how you feel. Too often the feeling sense has been abandoned during narcissistic abuse, because their words and actions do not align, which confuses your ability to trust your gut.
If you have been in an unhealthy relationship you will have stored emotions around your heart – this is called a Heart Wall.
This is a protective response to help you to cope with the relationship trauma you are experiencing. IT is protective during the trauma, but can become a leading cause of neck and shoulder tension, pain in shoulders, heart palpitations and chest tightness that persists long after the relationship has ended.

Getting help is vital to developing strategies to help you heal and rebuild your life after the relationship – ensuring you will NEVER attract or enter a narcissistic relationship again.

Posted on

PTSD – you CAN heal with the proper support

Recently on the Today show Karl Stefanovic asked Dr Nick Coatsworth if he was a “bit broken” after discussing his experience with PTSD.

So misguided Karl.

It’s these kinds of loose comments that enforce the PTSD stigma that so many people are living with.
Too many people are living with the effects of trauma, but because they weren’t in a war zone, or experienced a violent assault, they don’t believe they have anything to complain about.
Too many people are now experiencing being re-traumatised after an abusive relationship, which ignites the childhood trauma lying dormant, festering below the surface and has “suddenly” surfaced around midlife.

Mid life crisis? Or PTSD from unresolved trauma?

It’s time the stigma was removed and it is time that people started to understand that in this modern world where we are using our noggin in a vastly different way than centuries before, we are evolving to experience chronic issues in the mind…rather than the body breaking down from back-breaking physical work that our ancestors experienced in the preceding centuries.

The link between stress, chronic stress and physical illness is well researched and known – albeit the mechanism and the tipping point of creating illness is not well understood (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3341916/).
We know that people living with trauma that hasnt been processed or resolved will manifest at some point in the course of someone’s life. This will be determined by their personality, coping style or support system. What is important to remember is that the support structure around a person is integral in helping them to seek and enter support with professionals. If you notice a loved one is not doing ok, or if they are saying things that you find concerning, or if their behaviour changes markedly, then help them to get help. GP, psych, counsellor – are all good places to start. Help them to know that asking for help is the strongest place to be, and that you are there for them. Don’t try to fix them yourself – that’s not your job. Your job is to be there for them, check on them, and motivate them to get help for themselves. That’s all.


Research shows that a substantial number of people identified with PTSD recover within 24mths https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28720167/
There is a high prevalence of those who suffer from PTSD will develop alcohol or drug abuse. This impacts relationships, affects children and ability to sustain gainful employment (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/).

We are predominantly at a desk; we are more sedentary; we spend hours a day in front of a screen. Our lifestyle has changed, and therefore our lifestyle illnesses have changed too. We are living longer, but often that means we are holding more trauma, or living less-than-healthy lives, being kept alive by medications, and experiencing depression and trauma throughout this extended life span (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070773/)

If someone had a broken leg, had the cast on, then went thru rehab and started to learn to walk and run again – would you say they are a “bit broken” ?
Or would you say they are recovering/recovered?

PTSD is not lifelong in ALL cases. It is NOT something to endure and learn to live with in ALL cases.

How does PTSD happen?
Literature shows that PTSD results from an unexpected sudden traumatic stressor. This can be from war (which is what most people think of), but it can also be from a violent assault, accident, or natural disaster.
Childhood trauma often is a result of sexual assault or even the death of a loved one. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/ )
What I believe is the MOST important part of understanding PTSD is that it is subjective to the person experiencing the trauma. If they believe it is traumatic, then it is.

A traumatic event to one person may not be identified as being traumatic to another person. Therefore, it is important to understand that if you are comparing how you feel to what others have endured, you may be traumatising yourself even further. Conversely if you are a professional who works with people living with PTSD it is important to remember that you are working with perception and not with what you consider to be “real” (https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.607612)

In the burgeoning area of PTSD after narcissistic abuse, we see people who have never been in a warzone, never experienced a vicious assault. Still, they may have a history of people-pleasing and “over-giving”.
Being in an unhealthy or toxic relationship absolutely causes trauma within the individual. The fallout after the relationship ends can endure for years – particularly if there are children involved.

With the stakes being so high, there is never a better time than right now to get help for PTSD symptoms no matter how minor or insignificant they may seem to you, or the people around you.

Posted on

Why do we want to retreat when life feels too hard?

Dreaming of life off-grid? There is a similar theme I am hearing lately of people wanting to retreat and run to a place that is ‘off grid’ and away from all the people or circumstances that stress them; concern them or make them feel fear about life and the future of the world in general.

It causes a great deal of anxiety in the people who are feeling this way, as quite often they are normally so socially engaged and involved. It causes disrupted sleep patterns, a lack of motivation to do healthy daily habits and quite often affects relationships due to changes in mood and interests.

So what is happening and why the sudden change?

It turns out that this is not such a sudden change, rather it has been happening in the cells of their body long before they are conscious of what is going on.

Bruce Lipton, PhD explains an experiment he conducted in The Biology of Belief that isolated cells in a petri dish. He observed that cells will move towards “nutrients” and away from “toxins” when they are in a petri dish. The cells will not go in both directions at the same time. It’s a case of one or the other. He also refers to this as the cells being in “growth” or “protection” states respectively. This movement towards what is good/healthy or away from what is bad/unhealthy is observed to be an instinctual response to support the health of the cells and prevent dis-ease of the cells.

Therefore, if this is happening on a cellular level in an organism, you can be sure this is happening on a global scale for the entire being itself.

Let’s look at what happens when we are engrossed in a conversation with someone. We lean in, we might touch their arm, and we will step towards the other person.

The opposite is true if we do not like a person, or we do not like what is being said. We instinctually step back (retreat) as a form of protection against the conversation.

The body and now the mind is quite literally responding to move away from perceived toxicity and a need to protect oneself.

This is what is happening when a person desires to run away and “get off grid” due to the pandemic, the loss of freedoms, the angst, the uncertainty, and the disbelief at what they are perceiving in the world today.

Many of the anti-vax movement are disillusioned by what they are seeing (perceiving) in the world today, which produces a visceral (deep bodily sensation) response which culminates in this wanting or yearning for a simpler life, away from the restrictions and imposed or perceived controls by the government.

But it isn’t only the “anti-vaxxers” who are wanting to run away from all the people! It is the average John or Jane who are tired of the hustle and bustle of daily life, and are feeling a call to slow down and create a more simplistic life.

If you recognise this feeling inside of you – this urge to just get away from all the people and take your family to go live a simpler life of ease and flow…remember you can find this now in this moment. It is all about your perception. Just as Dr Lipton showed in the petri dish, what you think about, you will become. Therefore you actually do get to make the choice to think of yourself as free or as controlled. Freedom starts in the mind, and then flows out into your physical being.

Our perceptions are what controls our cells, it is not the other way around. Our brain is a powerful controller, let me show you:

Imagine a red flower. See it bright shiny and red.

You can do that can’t you?

Now I want you to imagine you are on a beach in the warm sun, drink in hand and you can feel the gentle sea breeze cooling you down.

You can do that too can’t you?

But how? You most likely aren’t on a beach right now (if you are, then imagine you are in the snow with your bathing suit on!)

Our mind has the ability to imagine, dream up or create pictures in our mind – and then our mind will perceive sensations in our body. If it is warm sun, you can imagine this sensation. If it is cold snow you can imagine this too.

The same is with a perception of fear. If you have been feeling the urge to run and live off-grid then I imagine you are wondering what sort of future you are raising your children to live in? This often invokes a fear-response.

It could be called Future-Traumatic Stress Disorder (FTSD).

The results are similar though – the body kicks off into a stress response from a trigger. In the case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the event has already happened, and the person’s nervous system and processing centre are not working in present state and time. It is muscle memory, visceral memory, like a jamming of the circuits that affects the entire body.The same can be said in a lesser degree for those experiencing FTSD. They are effectively ‘jamming their circuits’ by focusing on what hasn’t yet happened, but get angry, frustrated or scared by just thinking about the future.

This doesn’t mean thinking about and planning for the future isn’t necessary and a good strategy. The problem is when the future thinking becomes pathological and can affect the mood and behaviour of a person in present state and time.

The desire to retreat and go “off grid” is a common sentiment by those who are worried about the future of the world in which they live. Whether the world at large or their corner of the world.

Just speak to people in major cities and they will tell you “I have to get out of the city mate”. Pertaining to the heavy lockdowns, job losses, loss of freedom to move around, mandates and more.

This is why it is important to understand what is happening in their bodies at a cellular level as well as at the level of the mind so that healing can be undertaken to restore balance.

When the lockdowns are removed, the world goes back to a new normal. However the body is still holding the energy of the experience. Suspicion can sneak in, uncertainty can become the default mode of daily life, and anxiety begins to sky-rocket. The slightest upset to normal life and you can find yourself having an extreme or unusual reaction, and you wonder why.

Well its just biology and a bit of energetics. Your cells have been locked in “protection” mode. They aren’t growing, they aren’t replacing themselves, they aren’t functioning in a mode of health that comes when you are balanced and feeling calm and safe. No wonder you are tired all the time can’t sleep or switch off. Your skin might look dull, your hair lifeless, your tummy gives you some trouble, and don’t even talk to me about the reflux – off the chart lately!

All you need is to retreat into the country, or to a deserted beach somewhere far from the city to leave the bright lights and the hustle, and throw your phone in the bin. Right?

Wrong. You’ll be taking your cells with you.

The only way to manage this is to dedicate some time daily to rebalancing your entire nervous system and quieting your mind. However when you are in a highly up-regulated state this is near impossible! Your mind isn’t calm and clear, your mind is busy, it is constantly trying to figure things out and it is doing itself in.
So here is what I suggest you do – start gently. Erase the desire to clear your mind, and simply focus on filling it – with a really deep breath in. Then a really long slow exhale.

Take some time to designate 5mins every day to resting, deep breathing and restoring yourself. Daily conscious habits to bring your baseline back to the present-tense so you aren’t freaking yourself out with future thinking.

Concentrate on how good it feels to go outside and sit on the grass and breathe deeply. Play your favourite music, sit in the shade and enjoy the breeze. Watch a motivational speaker while you sit near a tree and breathe deeply.
Notice I am not saying “close your eyes and focus on nothing” ? That is because it is impossible to go from a state of high alert to a state of clear and calm in only one step. You need a few more steps in between.

It takes discipline to begin to change the narrative in your mind, so that you are affirming life and health for yourself, rather than getting stuck in the downward spiral of fear and suspicion.

So start with: sitting down. Listening to something that makes you feel good. Breathe deeply.

I suggest dedicating 5minutes of this to start with. It will be enough, and it will give you really good results quickly. The simplicity of this may make you feel like it is not enough, however I encourage you to trust the process of learning how to unwind and come back into balance in your nervous system.

Now more than ever it is imperative to learn the warning signs in our body and mind when we are overstimulated by the external world and also by our own mind. Stress, anxiety, depression, apathy and loss of happiness in daily life are all signs that you are overdoing it and need to down-regulate.

Don’t wait. Begin today and start feeling better.

Better yet, why not set aside a full day for you to retreat with other women at one of my upcoming day retreats in the south of Sydney.

contact me for details!