Category: heart walls

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How to Let Go (for good)

“How do you let things go Belle?

I have tried so hard and I just cant seem to do it.”

-many clients

I get asked this on a weekly basis by people with warm, loving hearts, who have been hurt, disappointed, let down, and treated badly by the people in their life that meant something to them.

How do you let it go?

All the nasty words.

All the careless mistakes.

All the accusations.

All the time-wasting.

All the sucking the air out of the room.

All the thankless times.

How?

You just decided that enough is enough.

Your thoughts will continue to “think you” if you don’t start catching them as they arise. You will find yourself down the rabbit hole within seconds if you keep playing out the scenarios of what they did (or didnt) do, in your head.

Have you ever had THAT conversation with them, in your car, or in the mirror? Saying all the RIGHT things you SHOULD have said at the time! To REALLY show them YOU CANT BE TREATED LIKE THIS ANYMORE !!!!

Yeah. Most of us have been there at least once. If not a hundred times. You are acting subconsciously in those moments when someone is taking advantage of you, but you dont speak up. Or when you let something slide, only to feel it festering later after they have gone. OR when you get that feeling in your gut that something isnt right, but you ignore it.

Time doesnt heal – it simply pushes down your feelings to be triggered by someone else, or to fester and rise at an unwelcome time. Intentional healing heals.

It means you make a decision to not allow those thoughts air time anymore. When they come up, you acknowledge and then evaluate what is in your control. I will take you thru the steps of the #AASERTmethod of coaching on how you might tackle this major self-sabotage issue that many people go thru:

Step 1: Acknowledgeonce you identify what is happening you can then begin the process of change.

Step 2: Accept the past happened. It did. Accept it. Just stay in this place for a second. (Don’t worry, we will move on, but for now, just accept that this person DID say or do what they did. you cannot change it.

Step 3: Surrender
Give OVER. Don’t give IN. Sit within the feelings, be with them, don’t resist that they are there. Honour your feelings. Completely. Without reservation. You are angry. Feel it
You are hurt. Feel it.
You are sad. Feel it.
You are feeling what truly is. but your feelings aren’t necessarily “truth”.
There IS a BIG difference. (if you don’t know the difference between “truth” and what you are feeling being “true to you” then we can work at this step to free you from the myths of “truth”. (They are a huge sabotage issue that can keep you stuck).

Step 4: Evaluate what is in your control
Can you change the past? No. Accept it happened.
Can you change them? No. accept this is what they did/said.
Can you say something? Yes
Can you choose to ignore? Yes
Can you change how you respond to it if it happens again? Yes
Can you change their behaviour when you respond? No.
Can you control your triggers? Yes (good) No (then THIS is where we work together to release them)

Step 5: Reframe how you think about it(this is the real step of healing in the process)When you look at the issue without emotion, you can see a different point of view.
What have you learned about yourself? (triggers? preferences? values?)
What have you learned about them? (they’re human. They aren’t perfect. They are acting off their own values, triggers and desires.)
What have you realised is most important in this situation? (to be right, to be heard, to be apologised to, to forgive? to move forward? to move past it? to release the friendship?
Learning is the path to healing. Learn the lesson and you won’t keep having to repeat it.

Step 6: Trust (yourself) Trust (the process)
Once you have made it thru and learned the lessons then you will be free to use the #AASERTmethod quickly and easily when anything comes up for you. Trusting is NOT about having no issues, it is about knowing what to do when the issues arise. The more you clear the energy around what has been coming up, the less you will attract. The less it will come up.
When you have been through a situation that has shaken you to your core, you may not trust yourself in the beginning…but using the AASERT method, it will re-empower you and your trust in self again.

Healing takes time. The AASERT method gives you a tool to help you gain the confidence to self-heal and to be your own coach. I use both Emotion Code to release the emotions and also AASERT in my Accountability Coaching sessions in order to FAST TRACK you into an empowered place of which to move forward and ultimately LET GO!

Want to get started and save over $150 – get on it! Let that shit go and start THRIVING again!

Book your Package here

Your Fast Start package includes 45min initial coaching session plus 3 x 30min sessions to keep you on track for a month.
Each session is to be taken 1 week apart where possible (max 10 days). This will keep you motivated and committed to reaching your goals.

Why have a coach?

Because if you could have done it alone by now you would have!
A quick month of coaching could save you hundreds of hours in time wasted or money lost.

Why coach with Belle?
Belle is a woman who goes after what she wants, is a straight talker and can see through any self-sabotage blocks. She has been coaching men and women to help them achieve their own unique successes in all areas of their life since 2012.
With Belle on your side, you are assured of success. She will offer you clear guidelines for you to work towards in order to go after what you are wanting, and see real results.

What areas can I receive coaching in?

Belle is an expert in helping healers, counsellors, massage therapists, kinesiologists, nutritionists and yogis who are wanting to start their business, or start over (in a more productive and focused way).

She has 16yrs experience in social media, branding, mindset and marketing for a self employed healer. She will bring her personal experience as well as industry knowledge to help you reach your goals.

Belle can also help you to take control of your personal life, in terms of career or relationships or health and wellbeing.

Anything you are wanting to focus upon, Belle will give you the tools, the feedback and direction you need to make it happen.

You can be assured that you will receive the mentoring you need for your personal life or for your business dreams.

Are all coaches the same?
HELL NO!
Some are amazing.
Some just take your money.
Some don’t even remember what your goals are, or what is important to you.
Belle is committed to working closely with her coaching clients so they feel supported, encouraged and most of all…accountable.

Not quite sure? Book a Discovery Call. Let’s Chat.

Book a Discovery Call
See if this is right for you

Get your goals sorted and your dreams realised

tick off your goals

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Healing after Narcissistic Abuse

Did you know that energy healing, such as QHHT, Emotion Code, or Inner Child work, can support someone with PTSD or C-PTSD?

Narcissistic abuse and gaslighting are particularly trauma-causing and crazy-making forms of psychological abuse.
Living in a highly toxic relationship, particularly if there are children involved, can leave a person feeling as if their entire being has been shattered and torn apart.

There are a myriad of reasons as to why a person will enter an unhealthy relationship. However, always there are RED FLAGS that have been ignored. The key to healing is in looking at the red flags and investigating why they were overlooked – the problem becomes the solution.

Do you have C-PTSD?
* Having nightmares or flashbacks of the relationship and events you experienced with the narc person
* Feeling extreme feelings such as anxiety, nervousness, feeling jumpy, obsessive thinking, racing thoughts, feeling scared, agitated, stressed, overwhelmed, emotional, etc.
* Extreme fatigue
* Muscular or joint pains
* Difficulties controlling emotions

Quite often you will feel numb….Emotion Code can help you to start feeling in an appropriate way again.

Emotion Code techniques are proven to help those experiencing Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). This is a condition where you experience some symptoms of PTSD along with some additional symptoms, such as

  • difficulty controlling your emotions
  • feeling very angry or distrustful towards the world
  • constant feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
  • feeling as if you are permanently damaged or worthless
  • feeling as if you are completely different to other people
  • feeling like nobody can understand what happened to you
  • avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult
  • often experiencing dissociative symptoms such as depersonalisation or derealisation
  • physical symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness, chest pains and stomach aches
  • regular suicidal feelings. (https://www.mind.org.uk)

The Emotion Code helps to identify and release the trapped emotions held in your body that are causing much of the C-PTSD symptoms. I suggest engaging with a psychologist as well as experiencing 3-6 Emotion
Code sessions. The combination is very beneficial and will address how you think about what is happening to you and how you feel. Too often the feeling sense has been abandoned during narcissistic abuse, because their words and actions do not align, which confuses your ability to trust your gut.
If you have been in an unhealthy relationship you will have stored emotions around your heart – this is called a Heart Wall.
This is a protective response to help you to cope with the relationship trauma you are experiencing. IT is protective during the trauma, but can become a leading cause of neck and shoulder tension, pain in shoulders, heart palpitations and chest tightness that persists long after the relationship has ended.

Getting help is vital to developing strategies to help you heal and rebuild your life after the relationship – ensuring you will NEVER attract or enter a narcissistic relationship again.

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PTSD – you CAN heal with the proper support

Recently on the Today show Karl Stefanovic asked Dr Nick Coatsworth if he was a “bit broken” after discussing his experience with PTSD.

So misguided Karl.

It’s these kinds of loose comments that enforce the PTSD stigma that so many people are living with.
Too many people are living with the effects of trauma, but because they weren’t in a war zone, or experienced a violent assault, they don’t believe they have anything to complain about.
Too many people are now experiencing being re-traumatised after an abusive relationship, which ignites the childhood trauma lying dormant, festering below the surface and has “suddenly” surfaced around midlife.

Mid life crisis? Or PTSD from unresolved trauma?

It’s time the stigma was removed and it is time that people started to understand that in this modern world where we are using our noggin in a vastly different way than centuries before, we are evolving to experience chronic issues in the mind…rather than the body breaking down from back-breaking physical work that our ancestors experienced in the preceding centuries.

The link between stress, chronic stress and physical illness is well researched and known – albeit the mechanism and the tipping point of creating illness is not well understood (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3341916/).
We know that people living with trauma that hasnt been processed or resolved will manifest at some point in the course of someone’s life. This will be determined by their personality, coping style or support system. What is important to remember is that the support structure around a person is integral in helping them to seek and enter support with professionals. If you notice a loved one is not doing ok, or if they are saying things that you find concerning, or if their behaviour changes markedly, then help them to get help. GP, psych, counsellor – are all good places to start. Help them to know that asking for help is the strongest place to be, and that you are there for them. Don’t try to fix them yourself – that’s not your job. Your job is to be there for them, check on them, and motivate them to get help for themselves. That’s all.


Research shows that a substantial number of people identified with PTSD recover within 24mths https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28720167/
There is a high prevalence of those who suffer from PTSD will develop alcohol or drug abuse. This impacts relationships, affects children and ability to sustain gainful employment (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/).

We are predominantly at a desk; we are more sedentary; we spend hours a day in front of a screen. Our lifestyle has changed, and therefore our lifestyle illnesses have changed too. We are living longer, but often that means we are holding more trauma, or living less-than-healthy lives, being kept alive by medications, and experiencing depression and trauma throughout this extended life span (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070773/)

If someone had a broken leg, had the cast on, then went thru rehab and started to learn to walk and run again – would you say they are a “bit broken” ?
Or would you say they are recovering/recovered?

PTSD is not lifelong in ALL cases. It is NOT something to endure and learn to live with in ALL cases.

How does PTSD happen?
Literature shows that PTSD results from an unexpected sudden traumatic stressor. This can be from war (which is what most people think of), but it can also be from a violent assault, accident, or natural disaster.
Childhood trauma often is a result of sexual assault or even the death of a loved one. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/ )
What I believe is the MOST important part of understanding PTSD is that it is subjective to the person experiencing the trauma. If they believe it is traumatic, then it is.

A traumatic event to one person may not be identified as being traumatic to another person. Therefore, it is important to understand that if you are comparing how you feel to what others have endured, you may be traumatising yourself even further. Conversely if you are a professional who works with people living with PTSD it is important to remember that you are working with perception and not with what you consider to be “real” (https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.607612)

In the burgeoning area of PTSD after narcissistic abuse, we see people who have never been in a warzone, never experienced a vicious assault. Still, they may have a history of people-pleasing and “over-giving”.
Being in an unhealthy or toxic relationship absolutely causes trauma within the individual. The fallout after the relationship ends can endure for years – particularly if there are children involved.

With the stakes being so high, there is never a better time than right now to get help for PTSD symptoms no matter how minor or insignificant they may seem to you, or the people around you.

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Pain can be your best friend

….however it may not feel like a good friend at first. In this blog I share my own healing journey from how I became an Emotion Code healer to now – facing my own healing crisis again with a hand injury.

And so the time has come for the healer to heal herself….well, to be honest, she has been doing that for a while now. It is a never ending process that as an awakening woman I have long been familiar with.

I noticed pain in my base of thumb for a few years now, but it started to get worse during the last semester of uni. I was writing more notes, and massaging more clients than I have in a while and it really took its toll on my hand.

The simple solution is: stop doing massage and stop writing notes.
Okay.
So how do I put food on the table and provide for my kids and how do I study? Simply put I dont want my life to change in any way shape or form because the uncertainty is scary and so I pretend I dont notice the pain on a deeper level, and just manage the symptoms.
I press on with ice packs and essential oils and hand splints, and push thru the pain, and massage in different ways, hoping it will just go back to normal.
But you and I both know this isnt a long term, wellbeing solution. And I am afraid of the outcome if I dont do anything about it, but not afraid enough to change anything.

What helps people feel better in the long term?
Change of lifestyle, change of habits, change of thought patterns, and change of energy field.

I share this with you, because even for me – a woman who KNOWS the mind body connection, and KNOWS the language of her body, I STILL RESIST the messages at times – particularly the messages that address some core wounding and fears.
And this is what many people are facing that I see in my clinic. this is the BIG stuff, the stuff that requires courage to face, and it can be terrifying.
Until the pain or discomfort gets bigger than the FEAR that stops you from facing it.

I became an energy healer back in 2014 after struggling with a really sore right shoulder for about six months. The pain got to the point where I couldn’t drive without pain, cos I couldn’t get my arm in a position that felt good.
I did yoga and lifted weights, was super fit, I never rested, I worked hard and was a newly single mum with 3 kids. To say I was “shouldering” a burden of responsibility was an understatement. I was worried about paying bills, worried would I ever meet the man of my dreams, worried I was failing as a mum and worried I was a massive failure in general.
I tried physio which didnt do anything – didn’t make it worse or better. And believe me, my physio is excellent at his craft. His treatments did nothing because it wasn’t a physical injury. It was energetic. I just didn’t know it at the time.

After a few months of physio treatment going nowhere I was starting to be concerned that my life as a massage therapist was going to come to an end, and I was terrified that I had no other skills. I mean, I am a bodyworker – what else could I do?
And then I stumbled across an energy healer who did Emotion Code. It was a non-touch therapy that worked on the emotional layers that were trapped or stuck in my energy field. WHOAH. what?
I honestly didn’t believe it at first. I thought it was a joke.
But after FIFTEEN MINUTES I could move my shoulder again without pain. I was floating, I felt amazing. And I couldn’t believe it.

However it was short lived. The pain came back 2 days later.
So I called this woman who I now declared a charlatan and she said “okay let’s do a full session, I’ll call you back at 2pm”
And after that session I have NEVER had shoulder pain again.
Fixed.
Completely.

And that’s when I decided to learn Emotion Code myself so I can take care of others in the same way.

Isn’t that incredible! I had opened the door to a new world thru the pain in my shoulder. I began to walk down a path I never knew existed because of the pain in my shoulder caused by the feelings of fear and worry and burden. I had taken those though patterns and walked thru a door into a new world and way of showing up in my practice.
I am forever grateful for that.

And now as the pain in my hand brings me to a slow down again, I am reminded not to be afraid, but to dive deeper into the healing space, releasing the trapped emotions (which will in turn release the fears around “grasping” my life with two hands even in the face of uncertainty) and being open to receiving the new blessings and new pathways that will come up as a result of having to slow down (or maybe even stop, not sure yet) massaging people.

This is the gift of energy healing. We don’t focus on the actual physical problem. We focus on the underlying causes that can only be accessed once the emotional layers are released – and then the story can be told.

Our physical body is simply a manifestation of the thoughts, words, judgements and beliefs we hold.
We feel pain and discomfort because these thoughts are not in alignment with our wise woman / wise man.
And it is this misalingment that is trapping the emotions which then cause “issues in the tissues”.

The process of releasing is simple. However the process of getting you to make and appointment, to show up and to have enough courage to face the deeper layers is what keeps people in resistance.
Simply take the first step, and I will guide and support you to do the rest.
Make a decision to get to the bottom of the pain and discomfort and watch your life come alive as you step closer into alignment with who you truly are.

Emotion Code appointments are part of my Health & Wellness consultations. Initial sessions are 2hrs, as I take a detailed history to ensure I have a complete picture of what is going on for you. In a session you will relax deeply – maybe even fall asleep at times – and you will learn a lot about yourself (or maybe just “remember”!)

Appointments can be made here, and can be in clinic or via Zoom: Bookings

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Soul Care: calling yourself home

If you are out of alignment, struggling with self care, unsure of your purpose, feel uncomfortable in your own skin, then this blog may help you….

When it comes to Soul Care, I am uncovering more about what this actually means with each day that I breathe. Soul care is the act of conscious listening to the inner sanctuary and conscious alignment with source.

Soul care to me, also means that I am in touch with all the aspects of myself that I have – even the ones I don’t want to admit to having. The ones that I reject of myself on a daily basis, and even the ones that I suppress and pretend arent’ there. And there are a lot of aspects that I pretend aren’t there, or would be happier knowing they weren’t there!

I didn’t know how far I had travelled away from myself, and how long and arduous the journey home would become until I began. And I didn’t even mean to begin. It happened organically and when I was in perfect timing to receive the messages and guidance that is always available and waiting for me to pick up on.

The path to a spiritual life is always an adventure, and I have always been a seeker of spiritual things, of truth, of divine learnings. I remember from the first book I read – “The Celestine Prophecy” and the learning of energy and how you can “see” it….to the many nights with a bottle of wine and some introspective friends sitting by a fire side, debating the meaning of all that is.
But…..
How did I get on this path of Soul Care though?

Quite by accident really – although is there ever an accident or coincidence in the universal realm (I no think so!)
I didn’t know that six years ago as I began using essential oils for my clinic clients, that I would be journeying home to self. I had a doTERRA rep come to see me – to “sell” me oils, and cos I thought she was so lovely I chose to get some pretty cool looking oils to stand on my clinic shelf lookin’ all sexy and alluring, with the hope that I might boost some more sales. (forgive me, I wanted to increase profit, not Soul Care!)

But when I first smelled the Serenity blend she wafted under my nose I thought “I must have this”. I began to use it on a LOT of clients, who also purred when they smelled it and declared “Give me some!” And as I used it on them, I was also using it on myself, aligning myself and healing myself at the same time (and still I didn’t know it).

However I LOATHED the smell of pure Lavender on its own. It stunk so bad to me, “get away from me oh ye filthy oil of excrement”! I declared.
Same for Geranium! Oh poo. But I would use Geranium for many clients as it is so wonderful for our feminine cycle and is a feature in birthing blends that I create.
But one oil that I would diffuse in the clinic and at home, and wear as a perfume was Bergamot – that delicious citrusy, earl grey tea flavouring – well…give me all of it!!!!

So it would be fair to say I had a love-hate relationship with some of the oils. It was polarised for me – either I LOVED or DESPISED their aroma.

As I learned more about emotional healing thru my energy work and as I learned more about oils and their effect on emotions I came to understand that the oils I was oppositional to, were the ones my body was out of alignment with.

You see, from my perspective, why on earth would you have a repulsion so strongly to an aroma that comes from a plant?

Plants have incredible healing properties, some are known and some are unknown to us. They are multicellular and have thousand times more chromosomes than what we have as humans (46 humans compared to 1260 in a fern!!!) Being complex structures they have incredible magick housed inside their green stems and colourful flowers that medicine women have known since the beginning of time. As a woman who is coming back to self, I was tapping into this wise magick that is in the blood lines of every woman on this earth, as she gently weaves herself back to harmony with herself.

Lavender was teaching me how to re-connect with my inner wise woman, to release the energy strands of self loathing and hatred, of cutting myself off from infinite supply. Lavender was helping me to resurrect my ability to communicate with the essence of my true nature, by delicately and gently helping me to love that aspect of myself again. However it was disguised to me in the Serenity blend – which has a base of lavender with sandalwood – which I used to help me relax, sleep or meditate.
Using this oil I was able to tap into the tools of meditation and spiritual practices that help me to achieve deeper clarity of who I am, and I activate the desire within me to surrender into stillness so my consciousness can expand.
And slowly over time the aroma of lavender didn’t seem so repugnant, in fact I reach for this oil often these days as I have resolved the aspects of myself that weren’t in alignment….or more precisely I have called these parts home to myself.

Geranium was teaching me to love myself and to trust in myself again. Over the years of my life I had experienced heartbreak and trauma – like most people have. I had been hurt by others and had put up walls to protect myself. I had lost the ability to trust in the words of others, but to notice their actions above all else. I had gathered a cynical perspective and had blocked myself from heart centred communication when I felt triggered to protect myself. I didn’t use Geranium oil for my own use at all, it was merely in clinic, so the work this oil did for me was slowly and a lot more gentle. She taught me to trust and forgive and to remain tolerant and open even when I was scared and suspicious. She taught me to sit in the heart space and to allow her to open to receive the love that is always ever present from divine presence. She has taught me how to gently explore the idea of unconditional love and trust of self (this is a work in progress).

Bergamot was always my favourite oil, to soothe a woman that is rooted in relieving feelings of despair and low self esteem. And I can see this oil in action in my life. Even though I had been deeply hurt, and I carried scars from years ago, I still got up, faced the world, put on a brave face (a mask!) and kept on going. Thriving despite adversity, but still feeling the effects of the life I had created for myself that hid in the layers of my heart.
The things about soul work though, is that eventually you need to take the mask off and sit face to face with truth. The truth was I was hating myself, judging myself and feeling truly unlovable at the deepest layers of myself. My mask was slipping and I was finally – with the aid of lavender and geranium able to admit this truth to myself. Bergamot facilitates a process of self acceptance and learning to become hopeful again.

And then I was able to break. Thru. Within. To come home.

And when you break, you start to shatter all the pretends and the projections and the un-truths and simply sit with self. It was frightening but also comforting. To finally stop and to just be.

Bergamot helps me to love myself again, to know that I am lovable and worthy and “good enough”. So I say “no” a lot now. I change my mind. I think twice. I stay home. I go out. I take days off (on purpose!) I schedule my cycle and don’t work on the Monday of that week so I can drink tea in the sunshine or rainy weather, and I can stay in my pj’s and read or watch crappy tv and just be alone in the house when the kids are at school. I allow myself to soak up nothingness and replace busy with ease.

Without my oils in my tool kit I would have found another way – the soul always knows how to get your attention. This is how my soul paved the way for my awakening and my growth.

It didn’t make it easier, it didn’t make it quicker.
The oils gave me something to lean on in my darkest times and something to celebrate with when it was a good day. They fostered my ability to unconsciously listen to myself, so it became second nature to self care – which is all the soul is really asking you to do.

IF you feel like this is resonating and would like to try the power of essential oils for your own spiritual needs, get in touch with me and we can talk about how they can help you – with your mask and journeying home to self.

Belle xx

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Is everyone but YOU getting pregnant?

How to deal with the pain and disappointment when everyone around you is getting pregnant

 I LOVE this blog by Katie Ryan from Newcastle. This sums up exactly how MANY of my clients feel….have you ever felt like this? Lets try and remove the social stigma associated with not being able to conceive and just support each other – learn from each other – and walk alongside each other during this difficult time.

When you first start trying to conceive and you see a pregnant belly, you grin knowingly at yourself and think “That will be me soon”.

Then the months go by and you start to feel stuck in the slow lane, watching other women zoom by and get pregnant while the only thing you’re growing is a burning hunk of fertility road rage.

Pregnancy announcements go from squeal and hug fests to stab-me-in-the-heart-athons.

You start making up excuses not to go to baby showers because you should be buying adorable clothes for your own little one by now.

 And if one more friend says she got pregnant when she wasn’t even trying, you might need a good lawyer.

So how can you keep it together when everyone else is getting what you want and you’re still waiting?

#1 Feel the pain

You can’t avoid pain altogether but you can keep it to a minimum. Feel the pain. Breathe it in. Let it flow through you and out again. Trying to push the hurt away just creates a block for you. When you hear someone’s baby news, go somewhere private and absorb it. See yourself breathe it in as if you were inhaling a cloud of light. Imagine it flowing into your body then out again when you exhale. Repeat until the pain subsides. You don’t need to hold onto the hurt, you just need to acknowledge it and let it pass through. Feel it briefly now so you’re not hurt by it forever.

#2 Say thank you

The universe has just reminded you of what you want. You think about having a baby so much that of course there are going to be babies all around you. That’s how the universal laws work: you get more of what you focus on. There’s a place inside you where you can take the jealousy, bitterness and anger and turn it into gratitude. Seriously. There’s a little place in your heart from where you can whisper to the universe “Thank you for helping me remember what I want and why I’m working so hard to be healthy and fertile”. Then use all those feelings as motivation to keep doing what you need to do, like eating whole foods, drinking lots of water and keeping your stress levels low.

#3 Level up

Every choreographed baby announcement and glittering gender reveal party is helping you to get on the same wavelength as those women who are having babies. It’s the fertility equivalent of rolling around naked on a pile of $1 bills and imagining they’re $100 bills – it’s helping you get in the zone for what you want. Energetically speaking, the more time you spend with babies and pregnant women, the closer you get to being pregnant and having your own baby. Not to mention it’s great preparation and learning so you’re in the know when your time comes. So open your arms and your heart to all the baby shower invitations and visits with newborns – they’re getting you closer and closer to your own.

#4 Don’t take it personally

I know it hurts because they have what you want but you can’t compare their situation with yours. Everyone takes their own path to parenthood and whether it’s taken them a month or a decade to get pregnant, they still deserve it. Just like high school, making a baby is an “eyes on your own paper” kind of event. Forget what everyone else is doing, what worked for them, and which pill, potion or lubricant you can try next. You have to find your own way by unravelling the unique baby recipe that is just for you and your partner.  

#5 Remember who’s in charge

The most important thing to remember is that you are in charge of your own fertility. You have the power to bring your little one through and the best thing you can do is connect with your body’s wisdom and follow what it tells you. Slow down, make space, get to know yourself. Listen to the inner voice that has all your answers. Remember that health comes before fertility so get both of you healthy.

If you think you’ve tried everything to make your baby, I can guarantee you there’s more that you can do. Let that be a comforting thought: you’re not done yet, you just need to find the missing puzzle piece.

by KATIE RYAN

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Try Working Softer, not Harder

You know the drill, it is splashed all over Facebook and instagram memes:

work-hard-1

work hard – play hard

But I am calling B******t on this, and taking a stand for women (and men) everywhere who are TIRED, BURNED OUT, FEELING LIKE A FAILURE and just want to pull the covers up over their heads and hide for a while.
For the last year I have been working harder than I ever have, and have played less than I ever have. The reason? I’m trying to “get ahead”. But how has that worked out for me? I am now reduced to a shadow of my former vibrancy because I have glandular fever / mono, and my body and mind is completely exhausted.

So what is the problem? The problem for me is that this motto of “work hard, play hard” is not actually true for me. It isn’t congruent to my values and certainly does not fit my lifestyle. It is not part of my wants, only part of my perceived “shoulds”.
From an energetic perspective “shoulds” drain my energy and always leave me feeling like I am lacking somehow.  Have you noticed that in yourself?

After falling into a heap and thinking I had the worst case of tonsilitis ever, you can imagine my surprise when I was diagnosed with an illness that doesn’t just put you on your arse, but flat on your back in bed, unable to think clearly – and without the desire to think clearly! My body had taken the years of abuse (being pushed, late nights, thinking, planning, strategies, worrying, etc) and had slammed me as a final last ditch effort to get my attention!

I used to be a single mum. I have three kids. I was told by my ex husband to “work harder” when I asked him if he would cover some extra curricular sports the kids wanted to do and I wasn’t sure my budget would stretch for. Those small words, delivered such a punch to my gut, that they then became the driving force behind my determination to work work work and earn as much money as I can.
I never started my own business for the money. I started it because I have a particular technique that works and I wanted to help as many women as I could and work my own hours around my kids. The problem was that when I was single and had three little mouths to feed, it became about the money – and that’s where the internal conflict began to show its face.
In hindsight I can see very definite stages in my decline into this tired and worn-down version of myself, but it is hard to stop the momentum gathering when you are being pushed from behind by the words “work harder”.
I used to say “I will be successful just to spite him” and so I kept on pushing, letting this bitter energy feed itself over and over again at the cost of my vital chi or prana.

Okay so the lesson is learned, but my physical body now has a long road ahead to catch up to the spiritual lesson. When will it be over? Well my impatient soul wants to get on with it now – “yes lesson learned, now can I go back and earn money again”. Me thinks there is still a few months of healing to go yet (possibly more!)

What if we were to “work softer” and allow our internal guidance to speak to us? Middle aged men have epiphanies like this all the time – we call it a Mid Life Crisis and laugh it off, but it is happening at an increasing rate to middle aged women (oh god now I have this title too) who say “ENOUGH!!!” They have reared their kids to primary school or early high school. They have taken hardly any time off when the babies were born, for fear of financial strain (me) or sabotaging their career (many of my clients). They convince themselves it is fine “women in China give birth and go straight back to the rice paddy” (NO my dear, this is not good for you!) They also convince themselves that they can do everything “I don’t need any help, I got this!” and then they wonder why their zest for life has gone (or their lust for their partner.)

It’s our chi my love. Our chi is draining away in hours at the computer, deadlines, planning and improving our career. We aren’t taking the time to water the seeds in our seasonal garden. Did you know you have seasons in your life that need to be tended to in a different way? Without acknowledging the season we are in, and giving it all the love and attention and nutrients it needs, we can find that the harvest (sometimes years later) will not be as plentiful or impressive, or just plain rotten.

And that my dears is what is happening for me right now. I didn’t give myself time to heal after my babies were born. Out of fear I went straight back to work. In my case my work involves lots of giving out of my energy. Gladly I do this, but it has drained me. When I get home I give it out to my kids and partner. If it is not returned, or nurtured or replenished then what am I left with? I will tell you – I’m left with no chi! I’m left with a draining of my energy that leaves me cranky, easily irritated, short tempered, argumentative and a bit low. (Do you recognise these early warning signs?) Then I get more coughs and colds. I get intolerant to skin care and foods. I get more headaches. I feel sicker more often. I am exhausted by the end of a moderately busy week…and so it goes on.

SO what would have happened if I recognised my warning signs before they took hold and created the symptoms for a commonly known condition called glandular fever? (Because that’s all illnesses are – a collection of symptoms). I wouldn’t be in the dramatic predicament I find myself in now. I would have slowed down and rested more. And I would have realised I was spinning out of control earlier and got some help. That’s my big thing though – I don’t ask for help (or take it easily either). So there is a learning in how I choose to recover as well. I need to ask for help more and realise I am not weak, but allowing others to be strong for me. But that is a blog for another day.

So ladies (and I guess gents, if you are reading this far), I urge you to listen to your body when it is talking to you and saying “I don’t want to work harder”. You will no doubt find that you just need a few weeks of “working softer” to then come back into balance. You won’t lose your job – your boss probably won’t even notice – because working softer is a mindset. It’s an attitude adjustment. It isn’t about slacking off, it is about honouring self.

Which brings me to another point…..honouring self….lets discuss that next.

Until then, practice working softer, rest more often and laugh more.

xx

 

 

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Do You Feel Disconnected from Those Around You?

Do you feel like you are standing on the outside,
looking in on your life?
Have you ever felt like you are numb to the
experiences you are having?
Do you feel all alone?

During our lifetime we experiences many ups and downs that make us feel disconnected at times to those around us – Is this you? In order to have a happy and peaceful life, it is necessary to feel a deep sense of connection to self and to others. Otherwise you are left feeling unsupported, and oftentimes scared and feeling lonely.

Feeling like you are facing life all on your own can be exhausting, and leave you feeling always drained of energy, or like there is no spark left in your body and mind. I have heard people describe it as like “walking through mud every day”. You KNOW you should be excited about life – you have everything you need most of the time – but something keeps holding you back.

Separation and Divorce (a bad relationship), death of a loved one, being fired or being forced to move towns/states/countries by circumstances, not living your passion and purpose, being in a job you despise can all make a person feel isolated emotionally and like no-one understands them, or could possibly know how they are feeling on the inside. Oftentimes well meaning people will encourage you to “look on the bright side”  or say “chin up, it could be worse” which is no help to you at all! In fact it makes you feel WORSE.
These thoughts and feelings are an indicator that you have some trapped negative emotions stopping you from feeling supported, loved and a vital part of this world.

How can I help you?

I can access and release hidden Heart Walls that are preventing you from emotionally connecting to others, and being able to connect with yourself. Have you heard the phrase “the heart wants what the heart wants”? This means that you are led by the Heart’s desires – but what if you cannot trust your heart because of previous life experiences of hurts and you have created a wall of protection around your heart in order to ensure you NEVER GET HURT AGAIN?

Using my Emotion Code techniques I can identify your protective heart walls and remove them forever – painlessly and easily!  You will feel more connected to those around you and more in-tune with yourself again – a very freeing feeling and putting you back in control of your life!

All of your behaviours and thoughts are controlled by your subconscious mind – when the negative emotions are removed, you will find that it is easier to make good choices and give up bad habits that have held you back.

Lose your Emotional Baggage  today by making an appointment to have your Heart Walls and Trapped Emotions released FOREVER!

 Make a booking for in-clinc or Skype consults by contacting me on the Wellness Consults page