How to use your emotions to feel incredibly good

How would you rate your Emotional Wellness on a scale of 1-10?

8-10 – my emotions are fairly balanced and even. Sure I am like most women and will feel irritated at times, but I am reliable and stable and think clearly and reasonably most of the time.

5-7 – I tend to go up and down,mostly even, but I can usually bring myself back to normal after a while (food / wine helps). I am more happy than sad, hardly get angry (although sometimes the kids push me to the verge of being a T-Rex), but I think I’m not as bad as others I hear about. I would say I am pretty much middle of the road, and whilst life is okay, I have everything I want, there are still times when I get sad for no reason or get snippy at people.

3-4 – I am quite up and down most of the time and I get anxious / moody / depressed at periods of time for sure. I drink probably more than I should. I don’t exercise much and I really feel like life is difficult. I definitely eat more than I would like, and it is probably “emotional eating”. I feel sad a lot. And I sometimes wonder why life is so hard.

1-2 – I can’t handle my emotions going up and down all the time – actually I wish they would go up so I can feel good and confident and excited about life! I have been on anti-depressants for a really long time, I don’t trust myself off them. I have a lot of anxiety and have a psych that I see a lot – this is my saving grace.

It’s true, you may feel overwhelmed by the strength of your emotions at times, but the fact is this society we live in is trying to make you fit a mold of being “even and level”…however a vibrant woman is like a flowing river. Sometimes meandering, sometimes rushing, sometimes there are rapids, and sometimes quiet pools of reflection. Learning to listen to your energy body – both physical and emotional – will help you to break the cycle of the ups and down, and give you a way forward when you are feeling hopeless.

Learning to listen to and respond to your Physical & Emotional Body

Are you getting a sore neck and shoulders more often than not? Do you have questionable tummy issues? Do you get tension headaches and feel stressed and on edge a lot? Heart Palpitations that are not a “heart problem”?

These are all signs of emotional imbalance…and if left unchecked, will only get worse.

Emotional Wellness & Intelligence means you are aware of your emotions, know what they mean, know what physical symptoms are related to, know why they are there, and how to use them – and you NEVER try to squash them down.
Instead, you tame them and make them work for you.

Your body is a biofeedback system that tells you when something isn’t quite right – so physical symptoms are the window to your emotional body. Learning how to use your physical sensations to gauge your emotional health and achieve mastery over them is a practice, and is an unfolding. It doesn’t happen overnight, and usually it comes after a period of feeling flat, uninspired and lacking zest for life.
When you are in this season it can feel frightening and like you will never return to a life of balance and pleasure and excitement…but be assured, you are standing at the precipice of blossoming, if only you will have the courage to keep moving through…..

Emotions can be affected by:

* food (some foods really affect you in the brain first, and the body later – so you may not even realise what you are eating is directly responsible for your mood.)
* dehydration (most people are chronically dehydrated, increasing your water intake to 2L-3L per day will have an immediate impact – try it!)
* lack of exercise / or too much (hard core exercise in a stressed-out person is counter productive, and can make your stress levels much worse. If you are a couch potato, then you already know this is no good. Get up. Gently walk around the block…and listen to Tony Robbins – you need to move your ass!)
* hormonal imbalance (which can be thrown out by stress, its a vicious cycle, so get your food and water and exercise on track and watch your cycles…if you aren’t regular with a 4-5 day bleed each month, then see a naturopath, or try doTERRA’s Phytoestrogen supplement. It is a god-send for me.)
* too much stress (and not enough tools to help eradicate it.) Self-help is everywhere. Try a yoga class (yin, not Vinyasa/Power) attend a meditation class, use calming essential oils like doTERRA’s Lavender Peace/Serenity or Peace blends.)
* your environment (empaths know what this means!) The people around you can greatly impact your emotions. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and balanced. Stay away from the drainers, and the ones who are bitchy or who bitch about other people to you.
* physical connection (sensual / non sexual touch works wonders for mood.) Holding hands, cuddling with partner or kids, or having a cuddle with your dog/cat is a great way to increase feel good hormones in your brain/body.Ask your partner for a sensual breast massage using doTERRA’s Whisper blend. And tell him “no sex, just touching” – he will be beside himself!
* chemicals (drugs, perfumes, skin care, cleaning products). Ever had a cleaning headache from the bathroom cleaners you use? Have you noticed it can instantly it affect your mood, giving you a crappy headache and making you sleepy. The same is true for many perfumes – these are a chemical cocktail of toxins that are just waiting to get into your airways and flood your body thru the blood. They have a HUGE impact on the body. Steer clear and using a Pure-Fume like doTerra’s Whisper blend, or Patchouli or Wild Orange.
* Music (radio, news, podcasts, training vids on You Tube) Listening to people whinging about love-lost is not going to inspire a happy mood. So crank up Bon Jovi and rock that mood out. Or maybe Beyonce is more your thing. And get rid of those talk-back radio stations that are filthy or low-brow and encourage stupidity! Also cut back on the violent and salacious tv shows you insist on binge watching. The same goes for reality “fight-fest” tv. What you watch and listen to will affect your mood, and affect your energy field, and you may not even notice it until it is too late.
* memory – I dare you to open a photo album and walk down memory lane and look at your history. See where you came from, re-live the good times. Do this with your kids. Or play the game “remember when ….?” Kids love to be reminded about fun times together, so do this often.

The key is to listen with attention to your body and to learn how to nourish and care for her.

Emotions as Guideposts:

Knowing how to use your emotions as guideposts is the sign you are turning into your Wise Woman. She is that part of you that is patient, kind, loving and caring to Self. She isn’t afraid to feel, or express, but she knows why she feels the way she does, and can manage her moods and her ups and down with grace and care.

Allowing the Wise Woman to come forth:

How long has it been since you sat in stillness and listened to your inner wisdom? Your Wise Woman is that part of yourself. She is gentle, so her wisdom isn’t like a punch in the gut – it is that instinctive “knowing”. Like when you have a newborn bub and she is crying her heart out, and you just know how to soothe her and what she likes.
Or when you have a major life decision to make, and your head wants to keep telling you which way to go, but your “gut” says something else….and you go with the head, knowing full well you should have gone with your gut. That is her. She is your Wise Woman.

The best way to re-introduce yourself to her is to begin a daily ritual of saying “thank you for being here” and acknowledging her in your life. When you ignore your gut instinct, you are essentially ignoring a part of yourself.

Take notice of when you suddenly get a sore tummy out of no-where – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you finish a massive day at work and your body is aching everywhere – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you feel frustration rising up inside of you – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you totally lose your shit at the kids/dog/partner – what is it trying to tell you?

You already know the answer, but you still don’t do anything to change your circumstance. The Wise Woman starts to arise when you begin to “know” and she is in full force when you start to make changes due to the knowing.

Your emotional guidance system was created FOR YOU, not to be AGAINST YOU. So allow the feelings and sensations to rise up – take notice, and ask the question “what do I need?”
And let your Wise Woman guide you.

17/09/201818/09/2018

Mindset- everything you need to know to get out of crisis

Mindset is the starting point of making any kind of life changes.

In this blog Belle shares her 5 tips for finding a balanced and focused mindset to help up-level your life, and make it one that is extraordinary. You’ll be surprised to learn it isn’t complicated or fancy – just consistent.

Mindset is everything – you can push yourself for a time, but consistent, focused moving towards your goals comes from a very different place than sheer will. A shift in Mindset needs to come from first making a decision that things need to change – an actual conscious decision to live life a certain way – otherwise everything will be haphazard and not have a purpose or meaning attached to it.

You wouldn’t start a business and drop $1M into it without having a plan for the business – right? So why do we tend to approach life with no plan attached?

Call it a goal? A dream? A vision? Call it whatever you want, but if you want to start living life on your terms and begin living the life You want, then you need to have the right mindset to get you there.

Now you could be the kind of woman who loves affirmations. That’s a positive mindset.

Or you could be the kind of woman who likes a set order and structure to follow. That’s an organised mindset.

You might like to just do what feel right in the moment. Honey, that aint no mindset, that’s a habit of laziness.
Let me explain.

Most people say they want their life to be a certain way. They allow themselves to dream big, they get into the good feeling space, and they ride the good feeling wave of imagining themselves having the things they dream about. But if there are no choices, no decisions, no structure and plan in place about how to get there – then there will probably be nothing coming to fruition, unless you are holding on to luck and crossing fingers and toes.

So how do you come to that place when you are so focused, so determined and so committed to making things happen in your life?

The Answer? When the pain of living “this” way get sooooo incredibly unbearable that you simply MUST take yourself in the direction of your dreams.

Most women I work with only make the moves when they are in crisis. Including me. My past is full of moments like this. I remember a time in my life when I was literally sensitive to every food you can think of. My body was in total crisis, every food – wheat, dairy, soy, salicilates (that’s a ahcemical in EVERY single fruit and vegetable) – I would react to with hives, asthma, body pain, weakness and severe anxiety. Life was a nightmare, cos I had no idea it was the food I was eating making my life so incredibly hard. A friend said to me “what will it take before you stop eating chocolate if you know it makes you bloated and gives you tummy pain when you eat it?” I responded “It would have to give me diarrhoea before I stopped.”
Guess what happened soon after?

Yup. You guessed it. And it was intense. I had to stop taking the train cos I couldn’t last between stations and I have an aversion to public toilets! (ultimate pain right there!)

My life had to get me to a point of incredible pain discomfort before I would make a healthy – wise – choice for my body. (Don’t get me started on how unhealthy my thinking, my abuse of my own body and my blatant disrespect for myself was – I was 29yrs old at the time, and I really needed a mentor to support me but they really didn’t exist back then.)

So why not make a decision to re-focus your mindset on the things you really want in life, before it is either too late, or the pain becomes unbearable?

Life is whatever you focus on, and if you are focused on set backs, disappointments and regreat, then that’s probably what is in store for you in the future.

Are you ready to change it NOW?

Let’s do it…here is my 5 step guide to getting focused on what you want NOW:

1. Focus on changing your physical state. The way you sit / stand when you are sad, ashamed, depressed, anxious is VERY different to how you sit/stand when you are feeling unstoppable.
So whatever you are doing right now….STAND UP….shake your body out ….feet hip distance apart, feet turned out 45 degrees ….put your hands on your hips..…tits out / shoulders back …chin up…..squeeze your butt muscles and breathe deeply 10 times.
Research has shown that 2mins in the “Wonder Woman Power stance” will increase strong feel good chemicals in your brain which will flow to your whole body. You will then feel clearer and more decisive. This is what you want if you are going to change your life!
Do this every morning for a week….and see how you feel.

Focus on the food you eat….and stop those sugary, processed, fat laden foods entering your body. Just for 5 days. And see how you feel. Don’t give up everything you love. But if it is full of sugar, fake as hell, comes with a label where you cant pronounce any ingredient, just avoid it for 5 days. That’s all. Then see how you feel.
Increase water. No, I didn’t say tea/coffee / soft drink…I said water. Plain ol’ water. Aim for a glass every hour while you are awake. Yep, you’ll probably be friends with the God of the Toilet while your bladder gets used to it, but who cares? You are increasing your hydration! No brain ever worked optimally when it was thirsty and weak. Water will help you think more clearly and with more focus.

Do this for a week and see how you feel.

Get in some movement every day. Not 30mins flat out exercise. Not cross-fit. Not a gym session where you almost vomit. Just move. Take the stairs when you’d normally take a lift. Park further away from the station and walk. Take the dog for an extra walk each day. If you are completely sedentary: Do 10 x squats, push ups, ab crunches and tricep dips every 2hrs. If you have a chronic illness just circle your joints, breathe deeply and get your body moving again.

Do this for a week and see how you feel.

meditate. Sit there. Suck it up. Get comfortable with your discomfort. Meditation is not hard, it just feels excruciating at first. Search on YouTube for a meditation that you like the sound of (for improving your golf game, for anxiety, for stress, for sleep – you name it, and its there.)

Or use this one: https://vimeo.com/237005316 password: Meditation

If you want an extraordinary life, then you need to take extraordinary action. This is your starting point, and you are the only person who can do it!

Comment how this felt for you, and what you noticed was different in your life.

05/10/201715/10/2018

Enter: The Wise Woman

Are you ready to meet your Wise Woman?

You’ve known her all her life. She was there when you were gently brushing your hair in front of the mirror. She was there when you were playing with dolls and lovingly caring for them, whilst your mum commented on what a good “little mother” you were.

She was there when you knew to step away from your boy-crush in school and go back to your girlfriends at the disco, (he was giving you attention, but you knew he was a bit of a sleaze bag.) She was there when you planned a whirlwind adventure and dreamed of quitting your job and travelling off into the sunset with a tall, dark and handsome suitor, but realised that giving up your career for Romeo probably wasn’t going to turn out well.

She was there when you held your best friend as she cried in your arms about the love she had lost. And you whispered to her that she would eventually be okay.

She was there when you held your baby in your arms for the first time and knew in your heart that nothing ever would be the same again.

She was there when you dreamily sat on the balcony with a cuppa in one hand and a pen in another, journaling about your plans for the future.

She was there as you embarked on a new course that helped grow you in ways you never thought possible.

She is YOU. She has always been there.

You are the Wise Woman, just ask your friends and family. Ask your kids if you have them. They will all tell you that they think you are awesome. So when you let go of self-doubt, she is the part of you that inherently knows the path forward, knows the best solution in any situation, and is gentle, and caring and…well, wise.

As she begins to take centre stage in your life you will come to feel her and listen to her. But first it takes an awareness and a trust.

I have created the Wise Woman Essentials 6 week online program to help guide you back to the core of who you are. If you would like more information about this program please get in touch.

21/08/201721/08/2017

Shit Happens….

One morning I was laying on the couch and the sun was barely peeking through the clouds, and I was hating my life and hating the fact that I had to endure another day with two kids at home and one at school, and juggle everyone and try to get thru the day without losing it.
My body was exhausted, and my mind was in a permanent state of cranky.

I was drowning in housework day in day out, trying to get the kids out the door to school/kindy on time (never happened two days in a row), trying to run a fledgling biz on no longer than 3hrs of sleep at a time, feeling like I was walking in mud all day long, dealing with total food intolerance and being on a permanent Elimination Diet ( which meant I ate mostly air, as anything else I ate gave me hives or aching muscles or a headache or IBS.) I really was at a low point in my life, and I was fairly certain that it couldn’t get any worse.

Their father had already left for work (he later informed me that he was so tired that he tended to leave early and then park his car on the side of the road and have a sleep on the way to work …. did I mention I am now divorced from this man?)

On this particular morning I had stopped trying to tell the kids to go back to sleep, or to wait until Mr Sun pops thru the clouds (which I say in a gritted teeth “sing song voice”) – resigned to the fact that my sleep time was over and I knew there was no alternative but to get up. I thought I would be smart and clever and put the t.v on for them to sit quietly and watch for another 3 hours so I could lay on the couch and sleep right near them, whilst they sat transfixed by Teletubbies or Dora the Bloody Explorer. Except at their age, they wouldn’t watch the damned thing, but terrorize the house from the moment they woke up until the time they were ordered into their room after 7pm.

My eyes just wouldn’t stay open and I was somewhere in that zone between sleep and awake and could hear everything my kids were doing far far off in the distance. I could hear rustling of cereal boxes in the kitchen (good, Yes I know they are in the next room and not wandering out the front door). I can hear talking in muffled voices and giggling ( good, yes they are planning a terrorist attack on me for later in the morning, but for now I will listen to their “naughty laugh” and prepare myself accordingly) and I did think for a moment “I should get up and investigate and get them some food”, but my body just wouldn’t move.
Besides I knew EXACTLY what they were up to, for I am super mum and my ears are awake and my brain is functioning, even though this dream I am having feels awfully real too.
Another thirty minutes on the couch couldn’t hurt. Right?

I had completely nodded off and was woken by my darling one year old girl patting my face and sticking her fingers into my nose and mouth. This went on for a while. I was able to zone out and steal those last few minutes of rest/sleep before I had to sit up and let the day officially begin. However I could smell the sweetness of the cereal on her fingers and my mind started becoming more alert and I was thinking “what cereal has she got into?” I prided myself on only giving my youngest oats for breakky, and I was feeling a little disappointed that she had tried her first commercial cereal while I was sleeping, and this made me an inferior mother, and I had probably let her down, and ruined her future success (I did mention I was incredibly tired and my brain didn’t think logically or straight in this time of my life).

Try as I might, I just couldn’t remember which cereal it could be. Mainly because the ones I usually bought weren’t that sweet. But then I remembered that I had put the cereal up high on the shelf the night before, because I was trying to limit what the older kids were getting into each day when I was laying on the couch, catching those last minutes of sleep. (I did this a lot!)

And then I sniffed a little, and her fingers pushed into my mouth and then I opened one eye and saw my baby girl was putting one hand into her nappy and then pulling it out again saying “yuck yuck yuck” and then poking me in the face with the same finger!

Suddenly I was wide awake and I realised that she hadn’t been eating cereal at all, (and yes my idea to hide the cereal had worked! She hadn’t gotten into it – result!) and that her fingers had been in her nappy and then up my nose and in my mouth.

Eyes open wide awake! Run to the sink and wash my face and mouth out. Gagging. Blowing my nose. Yes I am bloody awake now! Washing some more. Making guttural sounds that started to scare the children. Washing hands. Blowing nose. Gagging again.

So when I mentioned earlier, I was at a low point and life couldn’t get much worse….well I guess I was wrong. The moral of this story?

Shit happens. And then you wash yourself off, and get on with it. And live to tell the story five years later to your new husband and his children, and have them in fits of laughter and gross-out, and realise that you are stronger than what you think you are in the moment. And that all things happen for a reason (still waiting for that reason) and that you can literally eat a shit sandwich and still go on to have a great life.

Never give up. This “young children” season you are in, will only last a few years.

21/08/201724/06/2020

Gansta Mum Life

Drop an emoji if you relate!

03/05/2017

The Importance of Being Selfish

“Selfish” isn’t a dirty word…in fact it may be the most healthy character trait you can have…..as long as it is accompanied by kindness and love.

Taking the time to look after your body regularly through exceptional food, pure water and regular exercise are the first three pillars to good health – you probably already know this as these three pillars have been drummed into those of us born after 1970. As a society we have come to believe that taking care of these three areas is the best – and most sufficient way – to care for yourself. However, there is a fourth pillar of health that is often forgotten, hidden or shunned – that is the pillar of Emotional Wellbeing.

This clinic is not just a massage clinic, we are more than that. We are therapists who recognise the importance of emotional wellbeing, and we understand the signs and symptoms that crop up in a body that is not in emotional balance. We call this the Mind Body Connection, and Belle is a leading expert in her field on recognising that every physical symptom has an emotional cause underneath.
Regular self care is the ONLY way to ensure you are in emotionally balance – and this will look different for everyone.

Emotional Wellbeing (EW) is the practice of listening to and being guided by that inner voice that speaks to us when things feel a bit “off” and when things feel very right. You can think of EW as being like a rudder on a boat. It helps us to steer and stay on course. I’m not much of a boat person, but I this is a good analogy that can describe the idea:
When you are in a boat and the rudder is slightly turned in the wrong direction it takes a moment or two before you realise you are headed slightly off course. The good thing is you can correct your steering by taking the helm in two hands, and tuning your attention to where you are going. You will get back on course quickly when you recognise your mistake, but it takes a little longer if you aren’t paying attention. And sometimes you can get into serious trouble if you really don’t recognise you are way off course.
Are you with me so far?

Our body has a feedback system that is always helping us to steer in the right direction, it gives us signs and an a “a-hoy there” if we are off course. I prefer to call the gut my “inner wisdom” but you can call it your gut instinct, or intuition too. For many women, they ignore this feedback system because they are so busy caring for other people and making themselves too busy to take time out for themselves. Our modern society prides itself on the ability of a woman to get shit done and to be superwoman. I know countless women who just keep going and going and going…until they fall apart and have to stay in bed for a day or so, and then get up and go and go and go again!

But I am here to tell you that this is the BEST way to start feeling aches and pains in your neck and shoulders, recurrent headaches, sinus infections, persistent coughs and colds and to feel sad or apathetic in your heart. For many women they report feeling like they have “no direction” or “no purpose” even though they have a job, they have a family, they have a partner, they have a house (etc etc) and they don’t see any real reason why they feel so flat, or low or un-energised or just a bit blah.

This is REALLLLLYYYY common in the years after having a baby. Clients will often present with aching in the neck and shoulders, and possibly lower back, but they will put it down to having a very heavy bub, or that they are still breastfeeding etc. Whilst yes, that may be true, there is an underlying emotional imbalance that is weighing heavy on you too. Problem is, when you have babies close together, you get too busy to care for yourself and correct some of the things that start to hurt and feel bad, because you are too busy caring for tiny humans. And so the problems compound until you have more serious aches and pains, and possibly many conditions and diseases to manage.
Often when I ask the simple question “How often do you engage in self-care?”
I get answers such as:
“ummm….”
“not very often”
“what do you mean by ‘self care’?”

Self Care is the act of attending to and caring for the self. It can be through making small choices such as what to eat or what to drink, that is life-giving and energy supporting. Or it can be through making huge life choices such as removing toxic relationships from your life, moving to a new town, changing jobs, or beginning a meditation / fitness program on a weekly basis.

Emotional Wellbeing is reliant upon your ability to put the focus on yourself for a while – especially if you are feeling achey, or despairing, or just a bit “nothingness”. Getting selfish means you are taking the time to look after your own needs, and put yourself first. If anyone has a problem with you putting yourself first simply say to them:
“So you are saying that you have a problem with me looking after myself, because it means I can’t look after you? And that makes me selfish?”

LOL – they have no where to go with this argument. (You’re welcome xx)

So here are my tips for getting selfish with kindness and love, follow them and you will be on the road to feeling better in mind and body:

The food you eat can have a huge impact on your emotional wellbeing. Sugary foods often put you on a high, but then you go through a low a few hours later and you wonder why you feel so irritated with a husband who works long hours and leaves you alone with the kids all day.
Drinking lots of coffee all day – “just to get you through” – has a taxing effect on your adrenal system (your energy system lets call it) and can actually make you have less and less energy as the weeks and months go by. Then you may find yourself with zero energy by the evening, and getting crankier and crankier with the kids (who ALL have a witching hour in the evening!) and with a partner who has no idea he has walked into Jurrassic Park and found a T-Rex in his kitchen.
(Now I am not giving your partner any excuses for his behaviour – it may be crappy, and your crankiness may be justified….but that is a blog for another day.)

Darling, I want to speak to YOU and help you to control the things about YOU that are making your life harder. And you can be sure that skipping breakfast, reaching for toast for lunch (cos it is easy) and eating off your child’s plate (cos it is quicker than making your own lunch) and downing copious amounts of coffee or chocolate all day (cos it makes you feel good) is only adding to the T-Rex Effect each afternoon/evening.
Now I am not saying eating good, clean food in a balanced and healthy way is the be all and end all, but I am yet to meet a client in my clinic who has a clean diet and poor emotional health. Just saying.
Self-care starts with food.

The next thing you need to address follows on from food……drinking. Make sure you limit coffee and tea (unless it is pure, organic and gorgeous tea from a tea maker, not the rubbish in tea bags in the supermarket!) Swap this out for water water and more water. Get your 2L per day and then talk to me about drinking coffee. Water is life. You need it. Drink it. Purified if you can.

The next thing you need to do is breathe more. Consciously, not shallow and hurried, but long deep breaths that fill you up and slow you down. If you don’t know how to do this, then get your bum to a meditation or yin yoga class immediately! YES you can put the kids in care or ask a sitter, or go later at night (don’t do yin in the day time, that’s not what it is for). You CAN do this, and you CAN make changes to your schedule once per week. It is your CHOICE to do this. Breathing deeply helps to soothe your nervous system and will quiet a busy mind. There will be less T-Rex activity when you are feeling more quiet and subdued…and then you can handle the Witching Hour with more grace and self control.

Journal often. This is so good for the soul. It gets things out of your mind and when you re-read what you wrote, it can be a revelation. Practice “Appreciation” for the little things around you. Notice the weather when it feels good to you. Notice your favourite jumper or boots or hat. Be thankful and appreciate you have a nice watch or jewelry that makes you happy. Just notice the things you have around you such as a nice tv or a lounge chair or maybe you have a Thermomix that makes your heart sing? Just notice the material objects you have that make you happy. Avoid noticing what you don’t like, and don’t focus on what you don’t have…that’s not the purpose of this exercise. Just become more Appreciative of what you do have and what you do like.
It is life changing to do this.

Engage in regular bodywork therapies. Choose from massage, Aromatouch therapy, Reiki, Emotion Code, facials, foot treatments and hand massage. Try different things every once in a while and see a new therapist, just for a change. Every therapist you see brings something new to the table (pardon the pun) so treat your body work as a “must do” and intuitively book in a session that interests you and you are curious about.

Body work helps you to unwind, and to find stillness. If you are a talker, try not talking for your next session and see how that feels. Let your therapist know you want to try something different because you are trying to get more in touch with your inner voice. She will be able to support you in this, and maybe guide you into deeper relaxation.

Make this next month all about YOU. Get inward focused and be selfish in a kind and loving way towards yourself. Who knows how you will feel at the end of it? Maybe less aches and pains, or maybe more clarity about what you need in life going forward? Be patient, be consistent and go get selfish!
You deserve it Darling xx

03/04/201703/04/2017

Re-Ignite Your Passion

What is the #1 thing that makes a woman’s vitality fade?

Answer: Not living and enjoying her passion!

When you heart is “just not in it” you will experience more aches and pains, more headaches and more colds and flu.
This is your body’s way of trying to get your attention. When you are sick, or sore, you spend more time laying or sitting – essentially slowing down, and thinking more.We start to re-evaluate our life and we easily prioritise what is important (sleep more + eat nourishing food + ask for help +gentle movement + quiet cuddles with family). When we feel better again we get over loaded and attempt to do too much, and lose the ability to prioritise the important stuff because we feel that we have to “get everything done”.

As women we have MANY different hats to wear – friend / sister / mother / employee or employer / partner / entrepreneur / supporter / counsellor / volunteer / carer….I could go on.
Issues start to arise for us when we lose time for ourselves and we start to put everyone and everything else first…..and leave yourself very last.

When you find your passion – in family or career or hobby or recreation or sport – you will begin to come alive. It is a gentle fire that burns brightly within, lighting you up and fueling your energy. Suddenly you can work (or play) all night, and the more you pour into your passion, the more invigorated you feel! However distractions and responsibilities and external demands can start to weigh you down, and sometimes get the better of you – despite having found your passion.

Personally I have felt my vitality fade – even while I am working in my passion business (ie: the clinic!) It was always an ebb and flow, but I identify losing my vitality when having very young kids, struggling with financial issues from divorce, relationship problems and being a single mum (although the first year was amazing as I re-found Me again!) and learning how to navigate my world as a single woman. Even though I was working in my passion, I still had “life” to deal with.

So how do you navigate those seasons when life feel a bit “blah” or as I like to say “too vanilla”?

SELF CARE – and knowing how to self soothe is a skill, it takes courage, and commitment. It takes humility and grace.

I believe this is where self care is of utmost importance. Learning how to take some necessary time out just for YOU, will help to revitalise you from the inside out. Things like gentle yoga, meditation, inspiring workshops, craft classes, enjoying gourmet food, a gorgeous bottle of red, girl-time with friends, alone time with a journal and a bar of Lindt chocolate, a reiki massage or reflexology session. Self healing with EFT and energy balancing – these are all the things I did to help bring me back to my centre, and help me to find the inner fire within again.

What do you choose to help you find your centre again? What are your special go-to’s that make you feel better?

The following exercise will help to put things in perspective for you. Put your favourite essential oil on, play some soothing music, take a few deep breaths and then take a moment to write down the answers to these questions:

If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do for your career?
If you had unlimited income, and lots of free time what would your hobbies / recreations / sports be?
If you didn’t have housework to do, how would you spend your free time?
If it was your last week on earth, how would you spend your time?
If you were ordering your last meal, what would it be?
If you could spend time with anyone on this earth, who would it be? Why?
Your immediate answers to these questions (don’t think too hard), will help you to see more clearly where you are excited and where you need to put more focus in life. If you wrote “jump out of a plane” …but your finances don’t allow this, then what you are really saying is “I want to have more thrills in my life!” So begin to add more thrills in daily life…..
If you wrote “I want to play professional sport”…but you don’t have the skill, or maybe your body won’t do it anymore, then what you are really saying is “I am passionate about this sport and it lights me up”…so maybe think about how you can bring this sport into your weekly or monthly life in a different way?
Adulting is hard. There is need for compromise. There is need for patience. But the GOLD comes when you learn how to adapt and make the best out of every situation, in order to learn and to grow.

I created this clinic to be a refuge for women in a busy and demanding world. Little did I know that in my own dark seasons it would be my refuge too. I want to give a very public “thank you” to my team of therapists and practitioners who helped bring me back to life after my recent struggle with glandular fever (an illness with an emotional cause of “extreme overwhelm and exhaustion, of wanting to hide and retreat”.) My “girls” were gentle with my body during massage treatments (my fav was reiki and foot treatments) and I loved having energy healing sessions with Kali Devi – which helped release the underlying issues that I had no idea were wreaking havoc.

My personal yoga practice of vinyasa yoga came to a stand still, but I was able to employ some yogic principles of very relaxing yoga poses such as Waterfall pose (legs up the wall) – propped up with pillows, and listening to healing meditations from Inna Segal on my iphone.

Most importantly I used my doTERRA essential oils to help gently bring life back to my body. I used Oregano, Frankincense, On Guard daily in veggie capsules (to fight the virus in my body), plus Basil and Vetiver on my feet for adrenal support. I took a tablespoon of coconut oil daily to soothe (or attempt to soothe) my very sore throat. I used peppermint oil to help with my fevers. Lavender and Bergamot in epsom salt baths to soothe my intense body pains. And wild orange to uplift my mind, in my diffuser for days when I just couldn’t get off the couch or bed. My oils gently work on a physical and energetic level, giving me the space I needed to fully heal – not just a bandaid approach, but a truly deep and long lasting healing.

If you feel like you need some help with finding your vitality again – igniting your passion – then book in with Me (Belle) for a Clarity Session – these are FREE 20min phone calls to help you get a deeper understanding of what is dulling your inner fire, and how you can make changes to improve your life!

11/01/2017

Top 5 #postnatalhacks to THRIVE in the Postnatal week

Thank GOD you have finally had the baby!

No more pain in the lower back, you can get up and down from the couch easily and you can eat whatever food you like again without the risk of salmonella, reflux or throwing up! Now that the baby is here you can go back to feeling normal again – right?
WRONG! To be honest for most mamas they feel like they have been hit by a bus in those first few weeks after bub comes home!
Carrying a baby for 9+mths and then birthing (no matter which way they arrive) is the most intense experience a woman can go through – even if it is serene and calm. So, it is imperative that we acknowledge the rite of passage and give it some space to sink in.

Traditional cultures get it right – they look after their new mamas by inviting aunts, grandmothers, sisters or cousins to be on standby to help tend to mama’s needs and make sure she and baby are doing okay and resting and recuperating. There is always someone on hand to help, or do the jobs that need doing. Some mamas here in Australia are lucky to have their mum or sisters around to help out. But what happens to a mum that has emigrated or has no family close by? Or what if they feel like they can’t possibly ask a neighbour for help?

If you want to THRIVE in the postnatal weeks (and not merely survive with baby-spew stains, hair a mess and a sore neck) then here are my top 5 #postnatalhacks to make it through the postnatal period in one piece

Make sure the food you eat is healthy for you.
It is hard to make sure you feed yourself at all, let alone feed yourself well in the first few weeks when your full attention is on your new baby. Many mums reach for easy to make foods like pasta and toast, and wonder why they feel sluggish and tired. Feeding yourself well will help your energy levels, your milk supply and your mental health. It is worth putting 1% of your focus into buying well at the grocery store and making sure you have snacks that you can eat with one hand (fruit salad already cut up, protein balls, smoothies to name a few).
There are many women who suffer with food intolerance prior to having a baby, then during pregnancy seem “fine” and then are shocked to realise that their food intolerances have returned after baby arrives. If you notice a food intolerance (gas, bloating, nausea, hives, rash, headaches, diarrhea etc) then pay attention to it! It will not magically disappear, and you MUST address it at some point. So if you think that you must eat milk for calcium, but you know it doesn’t sit right in your gut, avoid it for a while – and allow your body to settle down. (Take a calcium supplement if you are really concerned about it). If you know that eating tomatoes makes you feel sick (even though you like it) then avoid it to stop feeling sick. Sometimes “healthy food” is not healthy for you at a particular time in your life. Learn to listen to your body and adjust accordingly. It won’t be forever, just for a time.
If possible ask friends to bring a fruit salad or a stir fry instead of a baby gift in the first few weeks (let’s face it, how many muslin wraps and baby toys do you really need?) A meal you can reheat, or a healthful snack you can enjoy while your friend gives baby a cuddle is a much better gift, don’t you think?

Drink loads of water – I’m not a coffee drinker, so this one is easy for me, but you who indulge in the “liquid gold” will know that caffeine affects your mood, your energy levels and your milk supply. Stay away from it – you were avoiding it in pregnancy anyway (right?) So if you feel like you “need a coffee to wake up” this is a good indication it isn’t good for you, so stop it now! And don’t switch to decaf – for goodness’ sake, decaf is worse…. it’s not what nature intended, so just avoid it altogether. Allow your hormones to rebalance and find a natural rhythm with sleep and wake cycles without messing it all up with coffee.
Drinking water will help you digest your food better, will nourish every part of your body, will help with flushing out toxins and drugs from labour, will help with aching muscles, will help you feel more energetic, will help you think more clearly, will help stop sugar cravings (which helps you lose baby weight)….need I go on?
And those who drink soft drink – I haven’t forgotten you either! Soft drink has zero nutritional value, and is in fact VERY bad for you. It is liquid lollies. Stop it. I have nothing else to say on this.
Okay so drink water. At least 2.5L per day if you are an average sized. A little more if you are bigger than average or it is summer. And if you are feeding make sure there is a glass of water in an easy to reach position. This will give you an 8 glasses of water per day (if you are feeding every 3 hours). Filtered water is best, so invest in a purifier for the home and teach your kids early on the importance of clean, filtered drinking water.
This isn’t rocket science. You already know this. So just do it. And feel better J
Adding a drop of dōTERRA lemon, lime or grapefruit essential oil will freshen the taste and purify the water at the same time. Did you know that Grapefruit oil can help with easing inflammation, weight gain, and sugar cravings and is considered a natural stress-fighter, anti-inflammatory,antioxidant and anticarcinogenic? Just one drop in a 1litre of water every day can make a huge positive impact on your health.
Do you need to INCREASE your milk supply? I recommend 3 fantastic essential oils for a little milky boost: Basil, Fennel and Clary Sage. If you were able to get your hands on my Labour Oil (available in clinic) prior to birth, then keep using this oil blend in your postnatal weeks. Containing clary sage as its base ingredient, it is a superior oil to balance for your hormones, helps your uterus shrink back to normal size and assists in milk production. Great for when you have had a c-section and your milk takes longer to come in. Basil and/or Fennel are excellent for milk production – use twice per day, about 2 drops in 5ml coconut oil and massage over breasts (avoid areola and nipples) and belly.
You could also make your own Fennel Milky Tea with doTERRA’s oils – steep lavender and lemon-balm herbs in boiling water for 5mins. Strain. Add 1 drop doTERRA fennel to each cup.
Order these oils HERE.
Get a Postnatal massage every week for 6 weeks – everyone knows how important it is to look after yourself. But rarely do I see new mums who can do this well. The mums who come into my clinic that thrive in the postnatal months are the ones who take the time to PLAN their postnatal experience and don’t just “see what happens”. I have never met a woman who planned their postnatal months who didn’t have a great experience. But I meet women all the time who haven’t planned for success and are drowning in new motherhood.
Postnatal massage will firstly help with the aching muscles that often comes from carrying a baby for 9mths, delivering baby, and carrying said baby for hours upon hours per day. When you are exhausted from interrupted sleep, your entire system becomes more stooped in posture, (your tummy muscles are weak, which makes your back arch a little more and your shoulders droop forward, and you will no doubt lock out your knees too.)

Physically it is a no brainer – massage makes you feel better in your body. But the real benefits I think are in the weekly social interaction with a health professional who is trained to listen, support and guide you. You get to vent, cry, rejoice and express how you are truly feeling (to someone who is impartial). The therapist will listen, celebrate, support and encourage you. All whilst your body is being gently stretched, pampered, pummeled and covered in delicious smelling essential oils to calm your nerves and ease your mind. Studies have shown just 20mins per week can help reduce stress hormones in the body – imagine what 60mins can do!

Go for a gentle walk each day. It is important that you read the word GENTLE and follow this. In my opinion the postnatal weeks should not be spent sweating, boot-camping and “getting your fitness back”!
These are weeks/months that your vital energy needs to come back to balance, muscles that have stretched and ligaments that are weakened take time to strengthen again. Pushing yourself will often lead to exhaustion and the more serious condition of adrenal fatigue.

You have nothing to prove here mama!

Give yourself a good 8 weeks before you start to even think about “getting back into shape” – I mean, where is the fire? Your body will return to a new kind of normal (let’s be honest, you have just given birth to a human, this human could go on to change the world, so lets give the experience some space!)You will learn to eat differently – especially if you are breastfeeding. You will have a different wake / sleep cycle for the best part of a year. You will need more energy and need to think about how you can distribute your energy wisely.
Ask for help!
Take it from a woman who has been there, done that. This is probably one of the hardest things to do. I know personally I found it very hard to ask for help, because I was so afraid of being perceived as “failing” or not being good as a mother. It has taken me 15 years to realise that it isn’t important what other people think. Hopefully you don’t care either! But if you do find yourself wondering “do they think I am a good mum?” OR “Am I the worst mother ever?” Then I really want you to talk about your feelings, to your partner, a friend or a perinatal therapist. Stopping the negative self-talk EARLY is a sure fire way of managing the postnatal months with ease.
IF you are a feisty, independent, self reliant kinda gal, then you will no doubt have a “can-do” attitude that others can see! They might be relutant to offer to help, for fear of offending you (or getting their head bitten off!) Asking for help is a sign of strength – and people LOVE TO HELP! So let them:

Ask your neighbour to cook a meal.
Ask your friends to bring over food when they visit – instead of baby clothes.
Ask your partner to cook dinner at least three times per week – even if he is working! (You are working too mama!)
When in-laws or grandparents visit ask them to hang out the laundry.
Call the ABA or Trescillian or Karitane – they are amazing support services who want to see you THRIVE!

Mama, I want you to THRIVE. I want you to be a Modern Gal and know that she needs to take it slowly, nourish herself, make positive choices for her body and life and know that she has a support system around her, if only she will allow it.

For those who have passed through the postnatal months – do you have more #postnatalhacks to share?

14/12/201614/12/2016

Try Working Softer, not Harder

You know the drill, it is splashed all over Facebook and instagram memes:

work hard – play hard

But I am calling B******t on this, and taking a stand for women (and men) everywhere who are TIRED, BURNED OUT, FEELING LIKE A FAILURE and just want to pull the covers up over their heads and hide for a while.
For the last year I have been working harder than I ever have, and have played less than I ever have. The reason? I’m trying to “get ahead”. But how has that worked out for me? I am now reduced to a shadow of my former vibrancy because I have glandular fever / mono, and my body and mind is completely exhausted.

So what is the problem? The problem for me is that this motto of “work hard, play hard” is not actually true for me. It isn’t congruent to my values and certainly does not fit my lifestyle. It is not part of my wants, only part of my perceived “shoulds”.
From an energetic perspective “shoulds” drain my energy and always leave me feeling like I am lacking somehow. Have you noticed that in yourself?

After falling into a heap and thinking I had the worst case of tonsilitis ever, you can imagine my surprise when I was diagnosed with an illness that doesn’t just put you on your arse, but flat on your back in bed, unable to think clearly – and without the desire to think clearly! My body had taken the years of abuse (being pushed, late nights, thinking, planning, strategies, worrying, etc) and had slammed me as a final last ditch effort to get my attention!

I used to be a single mum. I have three kids. I was told by my ex husband to “work harder” when I asked him if he would cover some extra curricular sports the kids wanted to do and I wasn’t sure my budget would stretch for. Those small words, delivered such a punch to my gut, that they then became the driving force behind my determination to work work work and earn as much money as I can.
I never started my own business for the money. I started it because I have a particular technique that works and I wanted to help as many women as I could and work my own hours around my kids. The problem was that when I was single and had three little mouths to feed, it became about the money – and that’s where the internal conflict began to show its face.
In hindsight I can see very definite stages in my decline into this tired and worn-down version of myself, but it is hard to stop the momentum gathering when you are being pushed from behind by the words “work harder”.
I used to say “I will be successful just to spite him” and so I kept on pushing, letting this bitter energy feed itself over and over again at the cost of my vital chi or prana.

Okay so the lesson is learned, but my physical body now has a long road ahead to catch up to the spiritual lesson. When will it be over? Well my impatient soul wants to get on with it now – “yes lesson learned, now can I go back and earn money again”. Me thinks there is still a few months of healing to go yet (possibly more!)

What if we were to “work softer” and allow our internal guidance to speak to us? Middle aged men have epiphanies like this all the time – we call it a Mid Life Crisis and laugh it off, but it is happening at an increasing rate to middle aged women (oh god now I have this title too) who say “ENOUGH!!!” They have reared their kids to primary school or early high school. They have taken hardly any time off when the babies were born, for fear of financial strain (me) or sabotaging their career (many of my clients). They convince themselves it is fine “women in China give birth and go straight back to the rice paddy” (NO my dear, this is not good for you!) They also convince themselves that they can do everything “I don’t need any help, I got this!” and then they wonder why their zest for life has gone (or their lust for their partner.)

It’s our chi my love. Our chi is draining away in hours at the computer, deadlines, planning and improving our career. We aren’t taking the time to water the seeds in our seasonal garden. Did you know you have seasons in your life that need to be tended to in a different way? Without acknowledging the season we are in, and giving it all the love and attention and nutrients it needs, we can find that the harvest (sometimes years later) will not be as plentiful or impressive, or just plain rotten.

And that my dears is what is happening for me right now. I didn’t give myself time to heal after my babies were born. Out of fear I went straight back to work. In my case my work involves lots of giving out of my energy. Gladly I do this, but it has drained me. When I get home I give it out to my kids and partner. If it is not returned, or nurtured or replenished then what am I left with? I will tell you – I’m left with no chi! I’m left with a draining of my energy that leaves me cranky, easily irritated, short tempered, argumentative and a bit low. (Do you recognise these early warning signs?) Then I get more coughs and colds. I get intolerant to skin care and foods. I get more headaches. I feel sicker more often. I am exhausted by the end of a moderately busy week…and so it goes on.

SO what would have happened if I recognised my warning signs before they took hold and created the symptoms for a commonly known condition called glandular fever? (Because that’s all illnesses are – a collection of symptoms). I wouldn’t be in the dramatic predicament I find myself in now. I would have slowed down and rested more. And I would have realised I was spinning out of control earlier and got some help. That’s my big thing though – I don’t ask for help (or take it easily either). So there is a learning in how I choose to recover as well. I need to ask for help more and realise I am not weak, but allowing others to be strong for me. But that is a blog for another day.

So ladies (and I guess gents, if you are reading this far), I urge you to listen to your body when it is talking to you and saying “I don’t want to work harder”. You will no doubt find that you just need a few weeks of “working softer” to then come back into balance. You won’t lose your job – your boss probably won’t even notice – because working softer is a mindset. It’s an attitude adjustment. It isn’t about slacking off, it is about honouring self.

Which brings me to another point…..honouring self….lets discuss that next.

Until then, practice working softer, rest more often and laugh more.