Emotional Pain from IVF leads to physical pain

The world of IVF and assisted pregnancies leads to women needing a different kind of support from her natural health practitioner during this season of uncertainty.
For a woman travelling the road of questionable fertility it can be scary, anger inducing, devastating, and sucks the joy out of life (and sex to be honest.). To be micro-managed in the intimate layers of your life is humiliating, humbling and weirdly comforting all at different times. Having to ask for help is a hard pill to swallow and this alone can be the obstacle hardest to overcome.

Physical pain is usually the reason a woman will ask me to treat her in the early stages of pregnancy following a round of IVF, or after a miscarriage.

Low back pain, and upper back pain are usually the first two places that need assistance. Pain is known to steal the joy out of anyone’s life, but it can be even more acute and devastating for a woman who has previously miscarried. The first sign of pain may send fear signals all over her already stressed body. Pain will take a pregnant woman to the depths of despair as she is largely unable to control the outcome of her pregnancy. 

You might think the pain might be just physical in nature, however usually there are layers and layers of trapped emotions causing disruption to the lumbar area and to the neck and shoulders. 

So what are trapped emotions and why are they not spoken of more? Trapped emotions are simply the energy of emotions you have felt, perhaps long ago, or in more recent times that have become stuck in the physical tissues of the body. If you think about it, the feeling of being sad is a little different to feeling of grief..right? And feeling depressed is very different to the feeling of anger. Emotions are just energy and they all feel slightly different. Day to day you no doubt feel hundreds of different emotions in different circumstances. Most of the time the emotions rises up and then is released back into the mystery of where it came from. But sometimes it gets stuck…and this is when it starts to create havoc in the tissues of the body.

You may have heard of “muscle memory” – that mystical way a muscle will “remember” how to perform an action after a period of inaction. For instance, if you start a muscle building program again after a holiday, you will more quickly get back to where you were. 
Trapped Emotions are literally the “emotion memory” that hasn’t been fully released. And so you are more likely to get triggered over and over if you hold a trapped emotion. Have you ever lost it with rage to think “where on earth did that come from”? That is emotion memory that has been triggered. Have you ever felt like it was ground hog day with the same thing happening over and over again over a period of time? Or have you felt like everywhere you go you get ignored or jostled or pushed? This could be due to a trapped emotion or two being triggered.

Trapped emotions do more than just trigger angry outbursts though. They can also cause disharmony and imbalance in the physical body. They are also called “blockages” and can be a cause of illness, chronic conditions and inability to fall pregnant.
I have worked with countless women in the clinic who have been trying to fall pregnant for months or years, only to have one or two sessions with me and then “suddenly” they fall pregnant. A clear energy body leads to a harmonious physical body – don’t you think? 

In a world where women are surrounded with images and stories of how precious and joyful the nine or so months of pregnancy can be, it can impose guilt and strong negative feelings when a woman finds that she indeed does not like her pregnant state and longs for it to be over.

If you are somewhere along the fertility journey and are feeling like it is all weighing you down, and that there is hardly any joy in your life, then get in touch and we can have a chat about what you need. 
I can clear the emotions holding you back, weighing you down and stopping you from achieving your desires of the heart. 

Belle xxx

Is everyone but YOU getting pregnant?

How to deal with the pain and disappointment when everyone around you is getting pregnant

 I LOVE this blog by Katie Ryan from Newcastle. This sums up exactly how MANY of my clients feel….have you ever felt like this? Lets try and remove the social stigma associated with not being able to conceive and just support each other – learn from each other – and walk alongside each other during this difficult time.

When you first start trying to conceive and you see a pregnant belly, you grin knowingly at yourself and think “That will be me soon”.

Then the months go by and you start to feel stuck in the slow lane, watching other women zoom by and get pregnant while the only thing you’re growing is a burning hunk of fertility road rage.

Pregnancy announcements go from squeal and hug fests to stab-me-in-the-heart-athons.

You start making up excuses not to go to baby showers because you should be buying adorable clothes for your own little one by now.

 And if one more friend says she got pregnant when she wasn’t even trying, you might need a good lawyer.

So how can you keep it together when everyone else is getting what you want and you’re still waiting?

#1 Feel the pain

You can’t avoid pain altogether but you can keep it to a minimum. Feel the pain. Breathe it in. Let it flow through you and out again. Trying to push the hurt away just creates a block for you. When you hear someone’s baby news, go somewhere private and absorb it. See yourself breathe it in as if you were inhaling a cloud of light. Imagine it flowing into your body then out again when you exhale. Repeat until the pain subsides. You don’t need to hold onto the hurt, you just need to acknowledge it and let it pass through. Feel it briefly now so you’re not hurt by it forever.

#2 Say thank you

The universe has just reminded you of what you want. You think about having a baby so much that of course there are going to be babies all around you. That’s how the universal laws work: you get more of what you focus on. There’s a place inside you where you can take the jealousy, bitterness and anger and turn it into gratitude. Seriously. There’s a little place in your heart from where you can whisper to the universe “Thank you for helping me remember what I want and why I’m working so hard to be healthy and fertile”. Then use all those feelings as motivation to keep doing what you need to do, like eating whole foods, drinking lots of water and keeping your stress levels low.

#3 Level up

Every choreographed baby announcement and glittering gender reveal party is helping you to get on the same wavelength as those women who are having babies. It’s the fertility equivalent of rolling around naked on a pile of $1 bills and imagining they’re $100 bills – it’s helping you get in the zone for what you want. Energetically speaking, the more time you spend with babies and pregnant women, the closer you get to being pregnant and having your own baby. Not to mention it’s great preparation and learning so you’re in the know when your time comes. So open your arms and your heart to all the baby shower invitations and visits with newborns – they’re getting you closer and closer to your own.

#4 Don’t take it personally

I know it hurts because they have what you want but you can’t compare their situation with yours. Everyone takes their own path to parenthood and whether it’s taken them a month or a decade to get pregnant, they still deserve it. Just like high school, making a baby is an “eyes on your own paper” kind of event. Forget what everyone else is doing, what worked for them, and which pill, potion or lubricant you can try next. You have to find your own way by unravelling the unique baby recipe that is just for you and your partner.  

#5 Remember who’s in charge

The most important thing to remember is that you are in charge of your own fertility. You have the power to bring your little one through and the best thing you can do is connect with your body’s wisdom and follow what it tells you. Slow down, make space, get to know yourself. Listen to the inner voice that has all your answers. Remember that health comes before fertility so get both of you healthy.

If you think you’ve tried everything to make your baby, I can guarantee you there’s more that you can do. Let that be a comforting thought: you’re not done yet, you just need to find the missing puzzle piece.

by KATIE RYAN