Tag: depression

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Pregnancy and Depression

There is hope. You can feel better.

Spotlight on DEPRESSION in PREGNANCY and POSTPARTUM:



Pregnancy is a really special time and one that can brig such joy. BUT let’s be real – in this covid world, pregnancy can be tinged with fear. And fear can lead to feelings of depression. You might have an unwanted pregnancy; be in an abusive relationship; or be feeling unwell.
There are so many reasons why depression comes knocking, but there isnt a lot of help out there, and many women feel ashamed that they are feeling the way they do.


Belle is an expert in working with pregnant women, helping them feel safe, calm and in control. And she can support you if you are experiencing depression – no matter the cause.
Belle explains:
“Research by my hero Dr Tiffany Field (Uof Miami) has shown that massage therapy is superior to muscle relaxation or mindfulness in its effect on bringing down levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in women who have 4mths of pregnancy massage. “

A simple massage with experienced hands not only helps to reduce cortisol but INCREASE serotonin and dopamine (neurotransmitters).


POSTPARTUM:

As many as 30% of women experience postnatal depression in the first 3mths following childbirth. In another study by Dr Field, it was shown that mums experienced LESS anxiety after a 5-week period of massage therapy each week of only 30mins.

What about the babies?

The babies were found to have HIGHER birth weight and a lower chance of premature birth AND lower cortisol levels, too after having experienced massage whilst in utero!



How can Belle help you?

When Belle works with you during a Pregnancy massage / healing session, she brings her expert care and experience into the room. BOTH you and bub are catered to, and BOTH will experience the benefits of a 60min treatment. In the study mentioned above, the participants experienced EITHER massage, OR muscle relaxation processes, OR mindfulness practice…..in YOUR session with BELLE you will receive ALL 3 practices…..triple the benefits!


If you are anxious, depressed or just a little nervous, Belle’s healing hands and comforting approach to healing can help you to feel better. Give her a call today and begin your process of healing.

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Why do we want to retreat when life feels too hard?

Dreaming of life off-grid? There is a similar theme I am hearing lately of people wanting to retreat and run to a place that is ‘off grid’ and away from all the people or circumstances that stress them; concern them or make them feel fear about life and the future of the world in general.

It causes a great deal of anxiety in the people who are feeling this way, as quite often they are normally so socially engaged and involved. It causes disrupted sleep patterns, a lack of motivation to do healthy daily habits and quite often affects relationships due to changes in mood and interests.

So what is happening and why the sudden change?

It turns out that this is not such a sudden change, rather it has been happening in the cells of their body long before they are conscious of what is going on.

Bruce Lipton, PhD explains an experiment he conducted in The Biology of Belief that isolated cells in a petri dish. He observed that cells will move towards “nutrients” and away from “toxins” when they are in a petri dish. The cells will not go in both directions at the same time. It’s a case of one or the other. He also refers to this as the cells being in “growth” or “protection” states respectively. This movement towards what is good/healthy or away from what is bad/unhealthy is observed to be an instinctual response to support the health of the cells and prevent dis-ease of the cells.

Therefore, if this is happening on a cellular level in an organism, you can be sure this is happening on a global scale for the entire being itself.

Let’s look at what happens when we are engrossed in a conversation with someone. We lean in, we might touch their arm, and we will step towards the other person.

The opposite is true if we do not like a person, or we do not like what is being said. We instinctually step back (retreat) as a form of protection against the conversation.

The body and now the mind is quite literally responding to move away from perceived toxicity and a need to protect oneself.

This is what is happening when a person desires to run away and “get off grid” due to the pandemic, the loss of freedoms, the angst, the uncertainty, and the disbelief at what they are perceiving in the world today.

Many of the anti-vax movement are disillusioned by what they are seeing (perceiving) in the world today, which produces a visceral (deep bodily sensation) response which culminates in this wanting or yearning for a simpler life, away from the restrictions and imposed or perceived controls by the government.

But it isn’t only the “anti-vaxxers” who are wanting to run away from all the people! It is the average John or Jane who are tired of the hustle and bustle of daily life, and are feeling a call to slow down and create a more simplistic life.

If you recognise this feeling inside of you – this urge to just get away from all the people and take your family to go live a simpler life of ease and flow…remember you can find this now in this moment. It is all about your perception. Just as Dr Lipton showed in the petri dish, what you think about, you will become. Therefore you actually do get to make the choice to think of yourself as free or as controlled. Freedom starts in the mind, and then flows out into your physical being.

Our perceptions are what controls our cells, it is not the other way around. Our brain is a powerful controller, let me show you:

Imagine a red flower. See it bright shiny and red.

You can do that can’t you?

Now I want you to imagine you are on a beach in the warm sun, drink in hand and you can feel the gentle sea breeze cooling you down.

You can do that too can’t you?

But how? You most likely aren’t on a beach right now (if you are, then imagine you are in the snow with your bathing suit on!)

Our mind has the ability to imagine, dream up or create pictures in our mind – and then our mind will perceive sensations in our body. If it is warm sun, you can imagine this sensation. If it is cold snow you can imagine this too.

The same is with a perception of fear. If you have been feeling the urge to run and live off-grid then I imagine you are wondering what sort of future you are raising your children to live in? This often invokes a fear-response.

It could be called Future-Traumatic Stress Disorder (FTSD).

The results are similar though – the body kicks off into a stress response from a trigger. In the case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the event has already happened, and the person’s nervous system and processing centre are not working in present state and time. It is muscle memory, visceral memory, like a jamming of the circuits that affects the entire body.The same can be said in a lesser degree for those experiencing FTSD. They are effectively ‘jamming their circuits’ by focusing on what hasn’t yet happened, but get angry, frustrated or scared by just thinking about the future.

This doesn’t mean thinking about and planning for the future isn’t necessary and a good strategy. The problem is when the future thinking becomes pathological and can affect the mood and behaviour of a person in present state and time.

The desire to retreat and go “off grid” is a common sentiment by those who are worried about the future of the world in which they live. Whether the world at large or their corner of the world.

Just speak to people in major cities and they will tell you “I have to get out of the city mate”. Pertaining to the heavy lockdowns, job losses, loss of freedom to move around, mandates and more.

This is why it is important to understand what is happening in their bodies at a cellular level as well as at the level of the mind so that healing can be undertaken to restore balance.

When the lockdowns are removed, the world goes back to a new normal. However the body is still holding the energy of the experience. Suspicion can sneak in, uncertainty can become the default mode of daily life, and anxiety begins to sky-rocket. The slightest upset to normal life and you can find yourself having an extreme or unusual reaction, and you wonder why.

Well its just biology and a bit of energetics. Your cells have been locked in “protection” mode. They aren’t growing, they aren’t replacing themselves, they aren’t functioning in a mode of health that comes when you are balanced and feeling calm and safe. No wonder you are tired all the time can’t sleep or switch off. Your skin might look dull, your hair lifeless, your tummy gives you some trouble, and don’t even talk to me about the reflux – off the chart lately!

All you need is to retreat into the country, or to a deserted beach somewhere far from the city to leave the bright lights and the hustle, and throw your phone in the bin. Right?

Wrong. You’ll be taking your cells with you.

The only way to manage this is to dedicate some time daily to rebalancing your entire nervous system and quieting your mind. However when you are in a highly up-regulated state this is near impossible! Your mind isn’t calm and clear, your mind is busy, it is constantly trying to figure things out and it is doing itself in.
So here is what I suggest you do – start gently. Erase the desire to clear your mind, and simply focus on filling it – with a really deep breath in. Then a really long slow exhale.

Take some time to designate 5mins every day to resting, deep breathing and restoring yourself. Daily conscious habits to bring your baseline back to the present-tense so you aren’t freaking yourself out with future thinking.

Concentrate on how good it feels to go outside and sit on the grass and breathe deeply. Play your favourite music, sit in the shade and enjoy the breeze. Watch a motivational speaker while you sit near a tree and breathe deeply.
Notice I am not saying “close your eyes and focus on nothing” ? That is because it is impossible to go from a state of high alert to a state of clear and calm in only one step. You need a few more steps in between.

It takes discipline to begin to change the narrative in your mind, so that you are affirming life and health for yourself, rather than getting stuck in the downward spiral of fear and suspicion.

So start with: sitting down. Listening to something that makes you feel good. Breathe deeply.

I suggest dedicating 5minutes of this to start with. It will be enough, and it will give you really good results quickly. The simplicity of this may make you feel like it is not enough, however I encourage you to trust the process of learning how to unwind and come back into balance in your nervous system.

Now more than ever it is imperative to learn the warning signs in our body and mind when we are overstimulated by the external world and also by our own mind. Stress, anxiety, depression, apathy and loss of happiness in daily life are all signs that you are overdoing it and need to down-regulate.

Don’t wait. Begin today and start feeling better.

Better yet, why not set aside a full day for you to retreat with other women at one of my upcoming day retreats in the south of Sydney.

contact me for details!

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The Importance of Being Selfish

“Selfish” isn’t a dirty word…in fact it may be the most healthy character trait you can have…..as long as it is accompanied by kindness and love.

 

Taking the time to look after your body regularly through exceptional food, pure water and regular exercise are the first three pillars to good health – you probably already know this as these three pillars have been drummed into those of us born after 1970.  As a society we have come to believe that taking care of these three areas is the best – and most sufficient way – to care for yourself. However, there is a fourth pillar of health that is often forgotten, hidden or shunned – that is the pillar of Emotional Wellbeing. 

This clinic is not just a massage clinic, we are more than that. We are therapists who recognise the importance of emotional wellbeing, and we understand the signs and symptoms that crop up in a body that is not in emotional balance. We call this the Mind Body Connection, and Belle is a leading expert in her field on recognising that every physical symptom has an emotional cause underneath. 
Regular self care is the ONLY way to ensure you are in emotionally balance – and this will look different for everyone. 

Emotional Wellbeing (EW) is the practice of listening to and being guided by that inner voice that speaks to us when things feel a bit “off” and when things feel very right. You can think of EW as being like a rudder on a boat. It helps us to steer and stay on course. I’m not much of a boat person, but I this is a good analogy that can describe the idea:
When you are in a boat and the rudder is slightly turned in the wrong direction it takes a moment or two before you realise you are headed slightly off course. The good thing is you can correct your steering by taking the helm in two hands, and tuning your attention to where you are going. You will get back on course quickly when you recognise your mistake, but it takes a little longer if you aren’t paying attention. And sometimes you can get into serious trouble if you really don’t recognise you are way off course.
Are you with me so far?

Our body has a feedback system that is always helping us to steer in the right direction, it gives us signs and an a “a-hoy there” if we are off course. I prefer to call the gut my “inner wisdom” but you can call it your gut instinct, or intuition too. For many women, they ignore this feedback system because they are so busy caring for other people and making themselves too busy to take time out for themselves. Our modern society prides itself on the ability of a woman to get shit done and to be superwoman. I know countless women who just keep going and going and going…until they fall apart and have to stay in bed for a day or so, and then get up and go and go and go again!

But I am here to tell you that this is the BEST way to start feeling aches and pains in your neck and shoulders, recurrent headaches, sinus infections, persistent coughs and colds and to feel sad or apathetic in your heart. For many women they report feeling like they have “no direction” or “no purpose” even though they have a job, they have a family, they have a partner, they have a house (etc etc) and they don’t see any real reason why they feel so flat, or low or un-energised or just a bit blah.

This is REALLLLLYYYY common in the years after having a baby. Clients will often present with aching in the neck and shoulders, and possibly lower back, but they will put it down to having a very heavy bub, or that they are still breastfeeding etc. Whilst yes, that may be true, there is an underlying emotional imbalance that is weighing heavy on you too. Problem is, when you have babies close together, you get too busy to care for yourself and correct some of the things that start to hurt and feel bad, because you are too busy caring for tiny humans. And so the problems compound until you have more serious aches and pains, and possibly many conditions and diseases to manage.
Often when I ask the simple question “How often do you engage in self-care?”
I get answers such as:
“ummm….”
“not very often”
“what do you mean by ‘self care’?”

Self Care is the act of attending to and caring for the self. It can be through making small choices such as what to eat or what to drink, that is life-giving and energy supporting. Or it can be through making huge life choices such as removing toxic relationships from your life, moving to a new town, changing jobs, or beginning a meditation / fitness program on a weekly basis.

Emotional Wellbeing is reliant upon your ability to put the focus on yourself for a while – especially if you are feeling achey, or despairing, or just a bit “nothingness”. Getting selfish means you are taking the time to look after your own needs, and put yourself first. If anyone has a problem with you putting yourself first simply say to them:
“So you are saying that you have a problem with me looking after myself, because it means I can’t look after you? And that makes me selfish?”

LOL – they have no where to go with this argument. (You’re welcome xx)

So here are my tips for getting selfish with kindness and love, follow them and you will be on the road to feeling better in mind and body:

The food you eat can have a huge impact on your emotional wellbeing. Sugary foods often put you on a high, but then you go through a low a few hours later and you wonder why you feel so irritated with a husband who works long hours and leaves you alone with the kids all day.
Drinking lots of coffee all day – “just to get you through” – has a taxing effect on your adrenal system (your energy system lets call it) and can actually make you have less and less energy as the weeks and months go by. Then you may find yourself with zero energy by the evening, and getting crankier and crankier with the kids (who ALL have a witching hour in the evening!) and with a partner who has no idea he has walked into Jurrassic Park and found a T-Rex in his kitchen.
(Now I am not giving your partner any excuses for his behaviour – it may be crappy, and your crankiness may be justified….but that is a blog for another day.)

Darling, I want to speak to YOU and help you to control the things about YOU that are making your life harder. And you can be sure that skipping breakfast, reaching for toast for lunch (cos it is easy) and eating off your child’s plate (cos it is quicker than making your own lunch) and downing copious amounts of coffee or chocolate all day (cos it makes you feel good) is only adding to the T-Rex Effect each afternoon/evening.
Now I am not saying eating good, clean food in a balanced and healthy way is the be all and end all, but I am yet to meet a client in my clinic who has a clean diet and poor emotional health. Just saying.
Self-care starts with food.

The next thing you need to address follows on from food……drinking. Make sure you limit coffee and tea (unless it is pure, organic and gorgeous tea from a tea maker, not the rubbish in tea bags in the supermarket!) Swap this out for water water and more water. Get your 2L per day and then talk to me about drinking coffee. Water is life. You need it. Drink it. Purified if you can.

The next thing you need to do is breathe more. Consciously, not shallow and hurried, but long deep breaths that fill you up and slow you down. If you don’t know how to do this, then get your bum to a meditation or yin yoga class immediately! YES you can put the kids in care or ask a sitter, or go later at night (don’t do yin in the day time, that’s not what it is for). You CAN do this, and you CAN make changes to your schedule once per week. It is your CHOICE to do this. Breathing deeply helps to soothe your nervous system and will quiet a busy mind. There will be less T-Rex activity when you are feeling more quiet and subdued…and then you can handle the Witching Hour with more grace and self control.

Journal often. This is so good for the soul. It gets things out of your mind and when you re-read what you wrote, it can be a revelation. Practice “Appreciation” for the little things around you. Notice the weather when it feels good to you. Notice your favourite jumper or boots or hat. Be thankful and appreciate you have a nice watch or jewelry that makes you happy. Just notice the things you have around you such as a nice tv or a lounge chair or maybe you have a Thermomix that makes your heart sing? Just notice the material objects you have that make you happy. Avoid noticing what you don’t like, and don’t focus on what you don’t have…that’s not the purpose of this exercise. Just become more Appreciative of what you do have and what you do like.
It is life changing to do this.

Engage in regular bodywork therapies. Choose from massage, Aromatouch therapy, Reiki, Emotion Code, facials, foot treatments and hand massage. Try different things every once in a while and see a new therapist, just for a change. Every therapist you see brings something new to the table (pardon the pun) so treat your body work as a “must do” and intuitively book in a session that interests you and you are curious about.

Body work helps you to unwind, and to find stillness. If you are a talker, try not talking for your next session and see how that feels. Let your therapist know you want to try something different because you are trying to get more in touch with your inner voice. She will be able to support you in this, and maybe guide you into deeper relaxation.

Make this next month all about YOU. Get inward focused and be selfish in a kind and loving way towards yourself. Who knows how you will feel at the end of it? Maybe less aches and pains, or maybe more clarity about what you need in life going forward? Be patient, be consistent and go get selfish!
You deserve it Darling xx