As someone who has lived in a narc abuse situation and felt the immense pain of losing self-confidence, zest for life, grounding, sense of reality as far as what I knew I was seeing and feeling, but being told I wasn’t……it is dangerous and very damaging.
However, I hold no anger towards them anymore (oh yes, I went thru ALL the stages of grief, including anger, but I have moved thru to the lesson now)…
In order to heal and move forward, I had to go “no contact” and never go back. It was VERY painful. I felt like I had lost my life. My future. My happiness. But I HAD TO in order to gain my life and future and happiness again.
How did I heal? Thru working on the darkness – the Shadows – that were rising up in me. By choosing better mind habits and physical habits that supported healing and growth.
MANY people cycle in their narc relationship by GOING BACK, again and again – they keep HOPING it will change. But it doesn’t. It is very consistent. It feels like it gets worse every time – but it doesn’t, it is just that each time you GO BACK you have a renewed sense of hope that gets dashed…and it is THIS that hurts more and more.
They never change. Their insecure and fragile ego is the same – insecure and fragile.
BUT YOU CAN CHANGE...and you can take your power back and stop giving it away. You can CHOOSE to heal. And CHOOSE to make the heartbreaking choice to END THE MADNESS.
Your life depends on it. Truly it does. And unless you see the pattern and recognise your role in it, you will keep cycling. Feeling worse and worse each time. Until you have nothing left.
Don’t let yourself get to this place of utter brokenness – don’t allow yourself to get to this point.
EVERYONE can heal from this kind of relationship – you have to face your Victim part of self in the Shadows, and recognise the values and beliefs you are holding that have put you in this position. It comes down to personal responsibility and an acceptance of what is. The situation WILL NOT change AT ALL unless YOU begin to heal and make changes. And you need to do this REGARDLESS of whether the other person changes and does the work or not.
Their healing is NONE of your business. To think otherwise it is a form of co-dependence – and you need to address this too.
IF you are wanting to break the cycle, stop repeating the same patterns then get in touch. I can help you to heal and grow and get to know yourself again – on your terms!
I can help you access those parts of you in your Shadow, and release the energy strands of past lives and karma that is holding you in this pattern.
Get in touch,
Belle
