Category: Stress

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It’s time to reset your nervous system and thrive

polyvagal theory explains the vagus nerve and the fight or flight response

Working long hours, family demands, financial challenges, and of course maintaining relationships, whilst caring for those you love – can all take its toll on your nervous system .
Many women find their cycle becomes affected, and fatigue is a common symptom of a stressed out adult!

Talking therapies only work until a point, exercising can sometimes further burn you out, and over indulging may become more common that you would like.
Perhaps it is time for a system reset to get you back in control of your life?

What is the Vagus nerve and why is it important?

The Vagus nerve is the 10th pair of cranial nerves that originate in the brain stem and travel down past the oesophagus, past the heart and lungs, and plunges deep into the abdomen.

  • It has a motor function – stimulates muscles in the pharynx, larynx, and soft palate; and stimulates muscles in the heart, where it plays a role in lowering resting heart rate.
  • It has a sensory function – sensation behind the ears and parts of the larynx (voice box).
  • It also has a visceral function where it monitors the internal organ environment, supplying information for the larynx, esophagus, lungs, trachea, heart, and most of the digestive area.

The autonomic nervous system comprises both the sympathetic (fight or flight) and the parasympathetic (rest and digest) branches.
The parasympathetic nervous system allows the body to relax and rest, and to assimilate the food you eat. The body will find it difficult to move into a restful state when it is sick, under mental pressure and strain, or when it is exhausted. It is for this reason that stress management and energy healing is so important. It is impertive to a healthy body and mind.

When the vagus nerve becomes dysregulated or weak, you will struggle to tap into your rest and digest state. This may lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, with varied external and internal signs and symptoms :

  • Anxiety and depression
  • Aggression
  • Emotional dysregulation
  • Indecision
  • Chronic inflammation
  • Difficulty concentrating or brain fog
  • Dizziness or fainting
  • Chronic pain (particularly gut)
self massage can be helpful to reset your vagal tone, you will learn how to do this in your session with Belle

The Polyvagal Theory

Developed by Dr Stephen Porges, the Polyvagal Theory explains the nervous system feedback in a loop to the brain’s command centre, instructing it to be on alert (fight or flight) or relaxed (rest and digest). In short, it is all about safety.
If the brain interpets the feedback and decides the body is not safe, then the heart will beat faster, blood pressure will rise and digestion will not be a priority. Conversely, if the brain deems the body safe, then the opposite effect will happen.

In today’s busy stress filled world. it is easy to forget to process, or release built up stress and tension. It is not uncommon to use food or alcohol, or sexual behaviour to distract from pain, grief, hurt, failure or shame.

When the body is always feeling negative emotions and stress, it can leave a lasting impression of anxiety or depression, and chronic fatigue or PTSD can result.

It is time to hit the reset button

Nervous System Balance program is for people who are feeling the effects of too much stress and not enough rest, and who want to start thriving again.

The program is designed to be completed over 6-8 weeks, and involves 6 x 90min balancing sessions.

No two sessions are the same, and with personalised, simple to follow daily routines of movement, breathwork and meditation tools balance can be restored to the nervous system.

What to expect
A series of sessions you will attend via zoom, that will include mindset coaching, as well as polyvagal theory-inspired exercises, to bring yourself back into balance.

With a nervous system reset you will:

– sleep better

– feel more calm

– feel more in control of your life

– enjoy improvement in your relationships

– get your mojo back

– enjoy life again

Working on releasing stored stress, reducing the mental chatter and developing routines around building safety within the body are the cornerstone for calming the nervous system.

This program is a reset, that will produce better quality of life and habits that will serve you for a lifetime. No matter what the challenges are that you face, movement, meditation and mindfulness will be appropriate.

Book here
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Soul fragments: how to put yourself back together

Feeling numb, disconnected, exhausted, apathetic, resentful? Perhaps life is feeling like it is too hard, and like it is always an uphill battle? 

When you are disconnected from your soul, in two or many pieces, it can feel like the life you knew or always thought you would have is never going to eventuate.

Some refer to this as a dark night of the soul, but it is a deeper and more intense experience than this. When the soul begins to fragment, you are as a greater risk of losing yourself altogether and it is a long journey home to retrieve all these parts you have lost. 

In traditional counseling/ psychology terms, we would call it an existential crisis whereby a person may be catapulted into questioning “why am I here” or “what is this all for?” out of a response to a significant life change (such as divorce, death of a partner, loss of a job, global pandemic). However, it goes deeper than a mere “mid-life crisis” or a questioning, when the soul has fragmented. It goes to a place of questioning (at least unconsciously) “why do I exist?” or even “do I exist?”

The degree to what one will experience when one’s soul has fragmented is determined in part by the degree to how much has indeed fragmented or split. But also, it will depend on which parts have split from the whole and how much this will cause turmoil or angst in the person experiencing it. 

How does a soul fragment?

Pain, trauma, neglect, abuse, arguments, ungroundedness, mental health issues, ADHD, constant anxiety, phobias, history of depression – can all influence the degree to which a person will experience soul fragmentation. A pattern of coping will always be the first sign that soul fragmentation has begun: drinking, drugs, and risky behaviour (the usual suspects in younger years). One-off situations can cause soul fragmentation, however, it is more likely that it will be repeated behaviours that lead to the most destruction. This is why it is so hard to get off the merry-go-round once it has gained momentum. 

These poor choices may extend into unstable employment, possibly lead to crime, or at the very least, making very poor choices that result in consequences that are difficult to move through, let alone past. 

Then what happens is you forever need to re-face the shame, and guilt associated with poor choices that were resultant from the depth of pain, despair, anger, frustration, guilt you were feeling back then, in that moment that you made poor choices to begin with. 

The cycle is vicious and never-ending and will inevitably lead to more parts of yourself splitting and detaching from the whole of who you are. 

The whole is made up of the sum of its parts

In order to understand the “whole,” let me explain who you are. You are an energetic being that is having an experience in this body, in this world, in this lifetime. You are a celestial accident with odds at 1 in 102,685,000 that you exist. However, here you are! 

We experience Deja Vu (when you feel like you’ve been somewhere before), you shiver (did someone really walk all over your grave?), you have inherent skills that you’re good at without any training (I was always good at massage therapy, right from when I was young – with no idea why I “knew” how to treat pain, I just “knew”). Some of you are inherently intuitive. You know things. And coincidences always happen to you. Some of you have such bad luck all the time. Like it follows you around. And some have felt extremely blessed like everything they touch turns to gold (I once worked with a client who told me he’d fucked a fairy. He was a multi-millionaire.)

I have worked with hundreds of clients and taken them through past life regressions or seen their past lives through their healing sessions. I “know” there is more than one life we get to live – because I have seen it and heard people re-telling their stories with passion, emotion, and great detail (to which they are super surprised – it blows their minds!) 

And this is how I know that we have many parts of our souls that make up the whole of who we are. 

The fragmenting

We come into this life with unfinished business  – or unresolved energy – from another lifetime. Sometimes that lifetime is on this earth, and sometimes it isn’t. I believe some of the inherent skills are not accumulated in this earthly place. These skills are from another dimension. The more negative aspects – the ‘bad karma’, the unlucky, the poor circumstances, the destruction, the pain – I believe this is unresolved energy from another earthly lifetime. And these energies can cause a lot of pain in this lifetime and ultimately be a vehicle to learn many lessons if you want to. 

When a person begins to fragment parts of their soul, it is due to an unacceptance of the energy they hold and what lessons need to be learned to resolve it. It is usually painful to resolve the energy. And this is why we resort to alcohol, sex, drugs, risky behaviour, and choosing the wrong partners – it is all part of the drama that keeps you distracted from the soul pain you are feeling in the first place. It is impossible to resolve soul energy when you are distracted in the earthly ‘pleasures’ (or pains). 

The further you go into the pain of this lifetime, the harder it becomes to turn things around because you have begun to split from the initial “whole” you entered this world as. It then becomes a quest or a soul journey to find your way back to all of who you are. Not leaving any part behind – even the parts you wish weren’t there. This is the hardest part – complete self-acceptance. 

The Parts

The parts of you make up are all who you are. And to wish some of them didn’t exist, or to banish those parts and pretend they don’t exist is the ultimate disservice and self-hatred. A large part of the healing journey will require that you accept all those parts of you – even the ones you are ashamed of – and to welcome them back with loving arms. This can take years or a lifetime. Or never. It will ultimately determine your happiness or contentment. This explains why some people can have everything you could imagine but still be depressed and deeply unhappy. 

Some parts will be easy to accept – like your generous heart, ability to make people feel comfortable, solution-focused mind, and inherent ability to see the good in people. But other parts, such as your emotional reactivity, your anger towards your parents, your judgments, your proclivities, your fantasies, your biases, will be less palatable to accept.

You will make unconscious choices from these less-palatable parts. You will do things or say things that you are not proud of. If you keep doing them, you will experience the consequences. And it often doesn’t feel good. This feeling of shame or regret will then propel you to keep making bad choices or say things that arent in alignment with your highest good and purpose. And so you fall further short of where you “think” you should be. 

Its a slippery slope. 

So how do you stop sliding and come back to alignment? (please read on, but promise me you will have patience for yourself in this!)

How to come back home to yourself

The first step is that you are aware that you are sliding, or on the roller coaster of doom. YOU have to notice that life isn’t turning out how you expected it to. Or the way you think it “should”. From here, you can notice what your unconscious expectations have always been. Counselors will often get you into your childhood because we can uncover the schemas you are measuring and living your life by. It’s an interesting journey to mentally re-investigate. However, it is only half the story. 

You have to begin soul-retrieval practices that call those parts of you home that have fragmented and left the safety and sanctity of the whole of all that you are. 

This process can take months, years or even a lifetime.  And it is not for the faint-hearted. There will be pain. It is inevitable, however, most humans are averse to pain and try to avoid it at all costs (remember the alcohol, drugs, and risky behaviours!)

I suggest that when you are ready to begin the process of soul retrieval, you connect with a healer to help support you on the journey. Give yourself some time – usually 12 weeks is a good amount of time to begin with – that you will allow your focus to be on this one particular area of your spiritual journey. Invest in a journal. Dedicate time each day for spiritual practice. And always finish your day by calling back your soul fragments before you go to sleep. 

How you do this, and what you do is entirely up to you. Your Soul already knows what you need in order to recover your Parts, but your mind may want a particular routine or structure to follow. 

Gratitude Journalling

A deeper practice of soul retrieval can come through daily gratitude journalling. This is a well-researched practice, that has been proven to improve mood stability, a sense of greater meaning and purpose. This gentle act of self love every day can help you to improve your ability to focus on that which is important to you, and that which brings you joy. The more you train your conscious mind to focus on the good things, the more you will notice the good things (no matter how small they may be).
Belle has created a Gratitude Journal that coaches you through the process over a period of weeks or months.

The Practice:

Upon waking:
“I call in all parts of me that have fragmented and not returned home after my sleep” 

Within 1hr of waking:
Journal about what your goals for the day are (spend 5mins) 

Within 1hr of sleeping:
practice gentle breathwork and yin yoga to prepare the body for sleep (10-30mins) 
Spend a few moments contemplating what you are grateful for on this day

As you close your eyes:
“I now call all parts of me that have fragmented and ask that they return to the unity of all that I am. May all parts of me be held by my higher consciousness as I return to myself.”

Need more help?

To get started, simply book a healing session and together you will create a plan that your soul can settle into and find comfort within. Including bespoke meditations, yoga and breathwork practices.

Book here
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Get your hands on Copaiba essential oil for inflammation

Have you been wanting to get some essential oils but dont know where to start?
Well, this month of May 2023 is a great place to begin your oils love affair as you will receive one of my fav oils for free – COPAIBA!

That’s right. Enrol with a single 125PV + order to receive 1 FREE Copaiba 5mL. Offer available 1 – 31 May 2023 only or while supplies last. ​

copaiba May promotion

Copaiba is an earthy oil known for its ability to affect the endocannabinoid system – the same one that weed affects. BUT copaiba doesn’t have any “drug” (psychoactive) affects, and wont show up on a drug test.
Copaiba targets receptors that may reduce inflammation, support the immune system and reduce pain (1).

With copaiba containing up to 87% beta-caryophyllene ( a sesquiterpene alkene), it is considered non-toxic, and is considered a functional nonpsychoactive, polypharmacological dietary cannabinoid and anti-inflammatory agent with a demonstrated activity on a number of receptor targets in the human body.

Chronic pain would be a key reason to choose copaiba oil as a daily topical oil.
Combine with lavender to help support neuropathic pain.
With cedarwood for anxiety and stress issues.

The endocannabinoid system plays a complex and critical role in the regulation of the stress response system in our body known as the HPA axis. This HPA axis manages homeostasis. Copaiba oil is said to help support this system.

The biological activities of copaiba essential oil were determined to be fast acting. In studies copaiba essential oil is found to encourage neuronal growth (nerve cell growth) in the nervous system. What is interesting is that copaiba oil was also found to activate apoptosis (the normal process of cell death which is absent in abnormal cells)(2).

Needless to say – most people could enjoy the biological effects of copaiba as stress affects most of the population. A simple swipe of the oil down the spine twice per day is fast acting, supports the nervous and immune systems and could help promote a better quality of life (with the reduced sensation of pain.)

Complimentary oils that blend well with copaiba: lavender, cedarwood, Lavender-Peace blend, frankincense, eucalyptus, Aromatouch blend, Balance blend.

To order go here:


https://thebelleflowersclinic.com.au/doterra-essential-oils/

(and follow the prompts. Use my ID 2076450)
For any ordering or oils support send me a message.

Reference:
1) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7246407/
2) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7177672/

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Essential Oils as wellness tools

essential oils for wellness

“Wellness” refers to being in optimal physical and mental health. Essential oils are one of the easiest ways you can support yourself to better wellness.

Are you addressing both aspects…or only one? (or none). Taking full personal responsibility for your wellness is like “future-proofing” in a small way (remember, accidents happen, and sometimes there is something rumbling under the surface that you dont know about. And also, the mental game is very influential on our physical health). So it is important to be using tools and lifestyle behaviors that support good health, and encourage releasing of negative thought patterns and behaviors that may influence your health and well-being.

I get asked a lot about the five questions below so I thought I would share my answers in order to inspire you to try your own blends or combinations that might support your own wellness journey.

neroli supports the throat chakra

FAQ’s

Which essential oils do you use for reducing stress?

Lavender peace – this is very strong for my senses, and will use it sparingly in the diffuser (1-2 drops max. I find it helps me go to sleep so I use it late at night. But with strong anti-anxiety properties, I find this is very helpful in stopping a racing mind.

Aromatouch – this is an excellent blend for massage as it helps soothe sore muscles. I have been using it for years as a muscle rub after a shower. It is calming and soothing without being a “lavender” smell. Magnolia. It starts and ends for me with this oil. It is my all time favourite and has been in my pocket since it very first arrived on the market. It contains very high amounts of linalool

Which essential oils do you use for uncovering shadow parts?

Neroli – it helps with “communication” therefore it is a throat chakra support, which helps to increase internal dialogue. Many people believe they have trouble “speaking their truth”, well let me tell you that this oil can help you overcome this!

Which essential oils do you use to reduce inflammation?

Copaiba rolled down my spine every morning while my tea is steeping! I make tea every morning, and while I wait I simply roll this oil down my spine. Inflammation is a key cause of disease in the body. So this is my personal ‘war on inflammation’ I do it without even thinking about it. Copaiba helps to reduce pain over time because inflammatory cytokines get reduced.

How can I improve my sleep?

Cedarwood in my Epsom salt bath with lavender are a MUST.
2 cups Epsom salts, and 4-5 drops of cedarwood is my go-to when I need to ground myself and release the week. My human design is “Manifestor” which means I go hard, and then I need to become a hermit for a while. I need to tap out and just relax and be with myself. Something I struggled with for a very long time. And now I embrace my limitations and happily retire to a bath for an hour of bliss. It helps me to go to bed relaxed in body and mind. I will also use Aromatouch if my muscles are noticeably sore.

What do you suggest for better digestion?

I am in love with the ZenGest blend rubbed on my tummy. It is a new recipe blend and smells incredible. Cardamon and peppermint are my go-to oils for cooking and enhancing flavours – and would you believe also help digestion? I use this at the first sign of a tummy ache, or if I know that I am about to eat a heavy meal at a party, then I will use it before I eat. My youngest will often get a sore tummy, so she uses it too.

cedarwood is a grounding and calming oil

We have a plethora of oils at our finger tips, which when used wisely, can help to move you towards more awareness, openness and care for your entire being.

Over the years of practicing yoga and “trying” to make better food and lifestyle choices, I have learned that illness, chronic conditions, and accidents happen. However, we have a tool at our finger tips that is going to support us to move in a better health direction.

If you are wanting to kickstart an area of your health, the pure intention of using an oil to support this is a fabulous start.

Want to lose weight? Use Motivate oil blend every morning when you do your morning movement.

Keen to be less frantic? Use Magnolia every day and keep it with you during every single frantic moment to help interrupt your habit of freaking out.

Needing to listen more and speak less? Use frankincense to slow your roll and help you to be more grounded.

Ask me for suggestions if you are stuck, but also lean into the oils you really love the smell of – they are no doubt the right ones for you to use in this season of change and growth.

Belle xx

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30sec cold shower for better health

Fancy exposing yourself to a 30sec cold shower each morning instead of running the risk of getting a cold or flu? Well, if research is anything to go by, you could be experiencing better health in as little as thirty days.

Cold water therapy is a bit of a buzz concept now – especially with Wim hof and his team of fanatics leading the way! I’m one of those Crazy Ice Bath People, and I’m proud to say that I can speak not only of the theory of cold water plunges but also of personal experience too.

I took my first cold water dip in the icy waters of Thredbo, NSW in June 2021 with a group of eager participants wanting to reach beyond their comfort zone. We were under the careful instruction and training of Leah Scott, a qualified Wim Hof Method teacher in the Snowy Mountains. Her retreats are not for the faint-hearted and will change your life. (Trust me, it changed mine!)

After that retreat, I then went on to do 90 days of cold water immersion – whether it was a 4min cold shower every day, an ice bath, a river plunge in the national park near my home, or my parent’s pool. After 90 days I stopped counting, it had become part of my daily life and it helped me to overcome some serious mental health challenges from 2 lockdowns and a devastating divorce.

I was determined to understand how this 5-10min daily plunge could have affected me so profoundly so I began doing some research and realised that this isn’t “new”, its just been popularised by Wim and his team. Isnt that awesome?

The benefits of a cold shower

Proponents say that swimming in cold water can help with insulin resistance, muscle recovery post-exercise, cardiovascular health, reduction in inflammation, increased energy, mental health support, and even weight loss.

To get the benefits the water must be at/below 15 degrees Celsius. So if you live in a colder area then you can just access cold water from the tap, the pool or a local river. If you are in a warmer area, you may have to start freezing ice regularly.

Cold shower research

Not surprisingly most research is conducted with the view of enhancing athletic performance. Athletes want to reduce recovery time and reduce pain. The research supports cold water immersion as a powerful tool for recovery (1, 2).

A 2016 study wanted to determine if taking a 30s, 60s or 90s cold shower (after a hot one) every day, could reduce the number of sick days a person took off work. The result? It CAN. The good news is that there was no statistical difference between the 30s,60s or 90 s groups – meaning you can just do thirty seconds and reap the benefits!

All the way back in 2008 a study showed that cold showers could be beneficial in treating depression as it sends messages from the skin to the brain to help switch it back online.

But how does it work?

Immersing in cold water below 15 degrees C, causes your blood vessels to constrict, and then when you emerge from the water and begin to “thaw out” a little, the vessels will dilate again (3).

Cold water will activate the sympathetic nervous system which is commonly referred to as your “fight or flight” response. When you are immersed in cold water you will release more noradrenaline/norepinephrine peripherally and it will increase the release of noradrenaline in the brain as well. When the skin feels the cold water, the receptors will send a sudden signal back to the brain to say “hey, something is happening here” which scientists believe could have an anti-depressant-type effect (4).

The part of your brain that is responsible for wakefulness and attentiveness – the reticular activating system (RAS) – can also be positively affected by cold water immersion. In particular, the locus coeruleus of the RAS, is involved in the arousal, and sleep-wake cycles, memory and emotions. People living with chronic fatigue syndrome have seen benefits in daily immersions due to norepinephrine being predominantly released in this part of the brain which then contributes to a cascade of downstream pathways (5).

The innate immune response (the barriers of your body that stop pathogens from entering) and the autonomic immune system work in tandem to keep you healthy. Acute activation of the fight or flight nervous system affects the innate immune response, and research has shown that it can be positively influenced through meditation, cold water immersion and breathwork (6). The immune system when out of balance will have an overstimulation effect causing too much inflammation in the body. This then causes pain, discomfort, and illness. By managing the effect of pro-inflammatory markers through cold water therapy it reduces inflammation, therefore reducing pain and discomfort.

Benefits for non-athletes or those who arent “that sick”

I love reading research and knowing that athletes and those who are fighting some serious illnesses are getting better-informed healthcare every day. However, I want to focus on the average Joes and Jills of the world – those who are moving thru life and trying to live better and do better, and enjoy themselves at the same time. Most of us are sitting in this category, and what I love about cold water showers and immersion is that we can tap into our superhero vibe just by facing our fear and getting in that cold water!

We can benefit just as much as an athlete. -especially by reducing pain and discomfort and reducing recovery time post workouts.

How to take a cold shower effectively

even though the research says to start warm and then finish cold, I think this is really hard to do. It isn’t my approach, but hey if you insist, you do what works for you. My method is that of stepping into the boxing ring. You go ALL IN and you don’t back down.

Step 1. Turn on the cold tap all the way – full force

Step 2. Stand in the shower and let the water touch your feet

Step 3. Flick the water at your body, getting your arms wet

Step 4. Get your legs wet

Step 5. Turn around wet the back of the legs and butt

Step 6. one full arm and shoulder / then the other

(by this stage most of you should be wet)

Step 7. Soap up and then fully immerse to rinse off

Step 8. wash your hair (this is usually best after you have done the non-hair wash a few times first).

Tips

Put a hype song on so you can sing and dance to it

Do some big deep breaths (in for 4 out for 6) before stepping into the shower

Resist the urge to turn on the hot water tap

Stay for at least 60secs / or 30 secs after you have settled your breathing down (then you will feel the full rush of dopamine as you have settled into the shower

DONT yell, scream, carry on – just calm your breathing down (it takes about 30-60secs)

Be present

Remind yourself what a badass you are!

Go on, you can do it

So there you have it – ALL the research, all the reasons WHY you should be doing cold showers – your mental health, your physical health and your badass self are all waiting for you. Imagine sticking to this for thirty days and finding out that you were stronger in body and mind than you thought possible!

That’s what is waiting for you on the other side of your curiosity as to whether cold showers or cold water immersions might be right for you.

Leave a comment and let me know if you have tried it, or maybe are willing to try it!

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Scrub your Socials- take your power back

Starting off the new year and taking your power back with a digital clean up clean up can be the most important thing you do at the start of the new year! Take your power back by removing negativity in your Socials, and removing the dead weight in your Inbox!
The collective energy for us at this time, is to restore, to connect and to enjoy. Why not use this time to restore your own energy, connect to those things that matter to you, and to embrace the idea that our life is for us to enjoy.

Here are my top tips when it comes to socials and digital life, so that you can clean up the energy in this space. Remember – we get energy strands of connection in the online world, just like we would in peson.
EVERY person you see on social media you will create an energy strand with.
EVERY person who scrolls your feed will create an energy strand with you.

Do you want that? Regularly clearing out your online space is a healthy part of your energetic hygiene practices. Just like if you went to a pub, you would come home and have a shower…consider this the same routine.
Cleanse
Release
Renew your boundaries!


My Top 5 Tips take your power back with a digital clean up:


1. Scrub your socials:
Go thru all your socials and remove any account that doesn’t give you good feels when you see it.
This includes people as well as biz accounts (but we will get to that in Step 3).
If it isn’t an account that LIGHTS YOU UP …its gone!
Remove it ASAP and get that lower vibration out of your field. Otherwise, it will continue to drag you down.
It happens gradually over time, without you even realising, and one day you declare to the world “I’m going off FB / IG for a while in order to rest and recharge”.
Um really? Why not just stop using it before announcing to the world you are over it? (It’s a bit of a bugbear of mine!)

You see, this kind of behaviour comes from a lack of boundaries in this department, and you honestly only have yourself to blame. However – we don’t do “blame” in my world, we simply LEARN and don’t look back. (I think perhaps a trigger releasing session would help in this case though!)

So here is your new mantra:

I get to decide what is in my feed

What I click on, the algorithm decides I like

I must be diligent about what I click on

I get to control my experience

If I don’t like what someone is posting I SCROLL on, OR I delete / mute / unfollow / block etc

My socials. My choice!

Never again will you feel whiny and in your victim mode about how “bad” social media is for you!

Personally, I love IG as I can follow hashtags I’m truly interested in, and that inspire me and teach me.

Everything else is a no-go for me and my mental health. This includes “friends”, or family who I am afraid I will offend if I unfollow. (And honestly, how often do you see these so-called ‘friends’ anyway? Would you share a meal with them? That’s what I ask myself. If I wouldn’t then I wont allow them into my energetic online field either. Another Q to ask yourself – if you wouldn’t share a meal with them, are they really a friend? Does it matter in the grand scheme of things if you removed them from your digital life?)

2. unsubscribe.
We get hundreds of emails every day – so be discerning about what you will accept in your inbox. If you’re anything like me you have signed up for a discount on a shopping platform and keep receiving their newsletters. I also have well-meaning sign-ups where I wholeheartedly decide I will be interested in a particular website and its offerings and then promptly never read another email from that site ever again. And yet they keep sending me emails!
My brain likes to pursue many a rabbit hole, and I get really interested in topics for short periods of time. Then I am over it. The dopamine hit wears off. Are you like that too? Well, the time is now for you to start cleaning out your emails and only keeping those that actually add value to your life – like mine.

OR not.

The choice always remains yours – so embrace your power to choose and decide what you want bombarding your inbox. It does take a fair bit of time, so I suggest putting on some music, or a podcast or watching Netflix and doing it simultaneously. That way you can just keep powering through the ‘unsubcribes’ and GET IT DONE.

3. unfollow/unfriend.
This is a tough one, as it pulls on the heart strings doesn’t it? I can’t tell you how many times a client has said they simply must stay “friends” with a family member out of fear they will offend them if they don’t.

STOP

DOING

THIS

This is the very definition of giving your power away. I didn’t know until a short time ago that we can actually mute a Facebook ‘friend’ and we won’t see their posts anymore. I love this as it means that you don’t have to completely say ‘goodbye’, just ‘let’s have a break for now’.

I know that it feels uncomfortable when you make these small decisions about a friendship or family connection, but it is really about being kind to both yourself and them. Your negativity – even in private – still affects the energy strands that connect you both. So what you are doing is removing your trigger so you can take back control of your own energy. That’s got to be a good thing – right?
A few years ago my cousin’s wife unfriended me, and I didn’t realise for a while. It definitely made our relationship non-existant as I haven’t heard from her or my cousin ever since. I have never tried to contact her again as I feel awkward and uncomfortable knowing I’m not her ‘cup of tea’ – which is okay. We never had anything in common, except she married my favourite and much loved cousin. It’s a shame, because her one small act caused me some heartache, and means that my kids don’t know hers. Remember – be kind. To yourself and others.

Be ruthless with ‘friends’ that you don’t even know. If they post things one time that are questionable, or directly opposite to your values then consider whether this is the content you want to consume. Some people vent and it triggers your own stuff. (Maybe it’s time to do an Emotion Code session though?) That’s ok. Cut them some slack and start looking at why it affected you so much. If they do it again, and it really annoys you, offends you, or crosses a line – it’s time to unfriend. No one wants to leave their front door open to angry, bigoted, racist, keyboard warriors, conspiracy theorists etc…so think of your account as your front door to your own energy field.
You need to put a line of defense between you both.

4. mute. I’ve mentioned it before but it needs its whole paragraph and time in the sun. Instagram has a mute button, and it is totally fine to use it. Just see how when you use it, that your life doesn’t end!
But you can use your own mute button on many things – like not replying to a message as soon as you receive one. You can choose to mute yourself during a conversation, and just hang up and plead “it dropped out” if queried.
Muting yourself means you get to decide what comes out of your mouth. It also means you retain your own power. There is no rule book that says you “must” respond. So choose when you do.

5. rest. I know you think that sitting on the couch and mindlessly scrolling for 3 hours is resting. It is not.

It is scrolling, and it is not mindless.

It is very mindful – and not in the best way.

When you are scrolling away you often lose track of time, and you ignore your kids and animals, and probably forget to do the chores around the house. Bbe intentional about your scrolling. But don’t call it rest. Cos it ain’t.
Resting is when your body AND mind get a break. (This is also not called sleep).

Resting involves an intention to slow down, and to just be in the present moment. My favourite way to rest is in my hammock with a blanket (if it is cooler) and a pillow under my head and knees. I love the feeling of swaying gently. I often don’t read in the hammock, I just look at the trees and the sky.
Some people say that resting can be reading a book – but the mind is still active.
Others say resting can be swimming – but the body is still active.

Many people find it hard to just sit and do nothing for a period of time, except breathe and be. So i invite you to set a timer for 3mins and just allow yourself to be in the present moment. Lay down. Watch the clouds. Listen to the birds. Just rest. And when the timer goes off, set it again for another 3mins. You’ll be amazed how quickly time flies doing nothing.
Resting is the biggest gift you can give yourself in this busy life we live. So choose to consciously do it for a few minutes per day – and watch how your entire perception will shift.

Start today

Scrubbing your digital energy field is an act of self love. Start today and notice how less-stressed and anxious you become. Removing the negativity, the draining, the anger, the complaining, the comparison and the sense of missing out can help restore your balance and your enjoyment of life. When you become ruthless at guarding your own energy, you will find the rest becomes easier and life becomes happier.

Good luck xx

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Accountability Coaching

Do you feel like you lack motivation?
You’re not alone.
Many people attend a coaching or energy healing session and feel inspired to commit to new healthier life habits – only to get sick, overwhelmed, tired or disappointed by something in their life again.
At that moment, their bad habits creep back in, AND they slowly forget what they were trying to focus upon!
That’s when frustration, irritation, anger and also binge eating or drinking kicks in.
And that can make you feel even worse.Let’s not even mention when you go 0-100 in 10 secs and let rip at your kids or partner.

The struggle is real – but you don’t have to stay there.


Accountability Coaching is a supportive service offered by Belle that will help you to stay on track and reach that milestone of 90 days – this is SO important when you are wanting to create REAL and EFFECTIVE change in your life.

The research is clear: 21 days to create a new habit
21 days to reinforce that habit
another 21 days to make sure it sticks and
another 21 days to make it seem so easy.

What could you become in 90 days?
What dreams do you have for health or well-being or career?
What can you imagine your life would be like if you could build momentum and have someone supporting you (and kicking your butt) along the way?

How does Accountability Coaching work?

You will do an initial 2hr session with Belle (in-person or zoom) in order to get clarity and set priorities; clear limiting beliefs, blocks and self sabotage to reaching your goals.
Then every week you will do a 30min coaching call via phone to check in, release triggers, and keep you focused and on track.
–> 3 months <–
12 sessions
self work
workbooks

Each week you will focus on smart, measurable and achievable goals. You will have tasks to complete that are easily added to your current schedule. This will help you to avoid overwhelm and burnout.

Could you do this yourself?
Of course you could!
HAVE you done this for yourself yet?
NO!
And THIS is why you NEED an accountability coach!

You already KNOW what needs to happen.
You have the SKILLS required to reach your goals.
What you NEED is someone to believe in you, to keep you focused, and to hold you accountable each week while you tick off your list of goals.

This is for you if:
– you want to achieve your goals in the next 3 months
– you are sick and tired of making excuses
– you want to plan, execute and smash your goals!
– you are a spiritually focused person who wants to combine their masculine and feminine energies to get into flow and ease.

Are you a HELL YES?
Get started here:3 Month Accountability Coaching.

Are you a MAYBE but need more info?
Book your Clarity call here:Accountability Coaching Clarity Call

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PTSD – you CAN heal with the proper support

Recently on the Today show Karl Stefanovic asked Dr Nick Coatsworth if he was a “bit broken” after discussing his experience with PTSD.

So misguided Karl.

It’s these kinds of loose comments that enforce the PTSD stigma that so many people are living with.
Too many people are living with the effects of trauma, but because they weren’t in a war zone, or experienced a violent assault, they don’t believe they have anything to complain about.
Too many people are now experiencing being re-traumatised after an abusive relationship, which ignites the childhood trauma lying dormant, festering below the surface and has “suddenly” surfaced around midlife.

Mid life crisis? Or PTSD from unresolved trauma?

It’s time the stigma was removed and it is time that people started to understand that in this modern world where we are using our noggin in a vastly different way than centuries before, we are evolving to experience chronic issues in the mind…rather than the body breaking down from back-breaking physical work that our ancestors experienced in the preceding centuries.

The link between stress, chronic stress and physical illness is well researched and known – albeit the mechanism and the tipping point of creating illness is not well understood (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3341916/).
We know that people living with trauma that hasnt been processed or resolved will manifest at some point in the course of someone’s life. This will be determined by their personality, coping style or support system. What is important to remember is that the support structure around a person is integral in helping them to seek and enter support with professionals. If you notice a loved one is not doing ok, or if they are saying things that you find concerning, or if their behaviour changes markedly, then help them to get help. GP, psych, counsellor – are all good places to start. Help them to know that asking for help is the strongest place to be, and that you are there for them. Don’t try to fix them yourself – that’s not your job. Your job is to be there for them, check on them, and motivate them to get help for themselves. That’s all.


Research shows that a substantial number of people identified with PTSD recover within 24mths https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28720167/
There is a high prevalence of those who suffer from PTSD will develop alcohol or drug abuse. This impacts relationships, affects children and ability to sustain gainful employment (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/).

We are predominantly at a desk; we are more sedentary; we spend hours a day in front of a screen. Our lifestyle has changed, and therefore our lifestyle illnesses have changed too. We are living longer, but often that means we are holding more trauma, or living less-than-healthy lives, being kept alive by medications, and experiencing depression and trauma throughout this extended life span (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070773/)

If someone had a broken leg, had the cast on, then went thru rehab and started to learn to walk and run again – would you say they are a “bit broken” ?
Or would you say they are recovering/recovered?

PTSD is not lifelong in ALL cases. It is NOT something to endure and learn to live with in ALL cases.

How does PTSD happen?
Literature shows that PTSD results from an unexpected sudden traumatic stressor. This can be from war (which is what most people think of), but it can also be from a violent assault, accident, or natural disaster.
Childhood trauma often is a result of sexual assault or even the death of a loved one. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/ )
What I believe is the MOST important part of understanding PTSD is that it is subjective to the person experiencing the trauma. If they believe it is traumatic, then it is.

A traumatic event to one person may not be identified as being traumatic to another person. Therefore, it is important to understand that if you are comparing how you feel to what others have endured, you may be traumatising yourself even further. Conversely if you are a professional who works with people living with PTSD it is important to remember that you are working with perception and not with what you consider to be “real” (https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.607612)

In the burgeoning area of PTSD after narcissistic abuse, we see people who have never been in a warzone, never experienced a vicious assault. Still, they may have a history of people-pleasing and “over-giving”.
Being in an unhealthy or toxic relationship absolutely causes trauma within the individual. The fallout after the relationship ends can endure for years – particularly if there are children involved.

With the stakes being so high, there is never a better time than right now to get help for PTSD symptoms no matter how minor or insignificant they may seem to you, or the people around you.

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How to use your emotions to feel incredibly good

How would you rate your Emotional Wellness on a scale of 1-10?

 

8-10 – my emotions are fairly balanced and even. Sure I am like most women and will feel irritated at times, but I am reliable and stable and think clearly and reasonably most of the time.
5-7 – I tend to go up and down,mostly even, but I can usually bring myself back to normal after a while (food / wine helps). I am more happy than sad, hardly get angry (although sometimes the kids push me to the verge of being a T-Rex), but I think I’m not as bad as others I hear about. I would say I am pretty much middle of the road, and whilst life is okay, I have everything I want, there are still times when I get sad for no reason or get snippy at people. 
3-4 – I am quite up and down most of the time and I get anxious / moody / depressed at periods of time for sure. I drink probably more than I should. I don’t exercise much and I really feel like life is difficult. I definitely eat more than I would like, and it is probably “emotional eating”. I feel sad a lot. And I sometimes wonder why life is so hard. 
1-2 – I can’t handle my emotions going up and down all the time – actually I wish they would go up so I can feel good and confident and excited about life! I have been on anti-depressants for a really long time, I don’t trust myself off them. I have a lot of anxiety and have a psych that I see a lot – this is my saving grace. 

 

It’s true, you may feel overwhelmed by the strength of your emotions at times, but the fact is this society we live in is trying to make you fit a mold of being “even and level”…however a vibrant woman is like a flowing river. Sometimes meandering, sometimes rushing, sometimes there are rapids, and sometimes quiet pools of reflection. Learning to listen to your energy body – both physical and emotional – will help you to break the cycle of the ups and down, and give you a way forward when you are feeling hopeless. 

Learning to listen to and respond to your Physical & Emotional Body

Are you getting a sore neck and shoulders more often than not? Do you have questionable tummy issues? Do you get tension headaches and feel stressed and on edge a lot? Heart Palpitations that are not a “heart problem”?

These are all signs of emotional imbalance…and if left unchecked, will only get worse.

Emotional Wellness & Intelligence means you are aware of your emotions, know what they mean, know what physical symptoms are related to, know why they are there, and how to use them – and you NEVER try to squash them down.
Instead, you tame them and make them work for you.

Your body is a biofeedback system that tells you when something isn’t quite right – so physical symptoms are the window to your emotional body. Learning how to use your physical sensations to gauge your emotional health and achieve mastery over them is a practice, and is an unfolding. It doesn’t happen overnight, and usually it comes after a period of feeling flat, uninspired and lacking zest for life.
When you are in this season it can feel frightening and like you will never return to a life of balance and pleasure and excitement…but be assured, you are standing at the precipice of blossoming, if only you will have the courage to keep moving through…..

Emotions can be affected by:

* food (some foods really affect you in the brain first, and the body later – so you may not even realise what you are eating is directly responsible for your mood.)
* dehydration (most people are chronically dehydrated, increasing your water intake to 2L-3L per day will have an immediate impact – try it!) 
* lack of exercise / or too much (hard core exercise in a stressed-out person is counter productive, and can make your stress levels much worse. If you are a couch potato, then you already know this is no good. Get up. Gently walk around the block…and listen to Tony Robbins – you need to move your ass!)
* hormonal imbalance (which can be thrown out by stress, its a vicious cycle, so get your food and water and exercise on track and watch your cycles…if you aren’t regular with a 4-5 day bleed each month, then see a naturopath, or try doTERRA’s Phytoestrogen supplement. It is a god-send for me.)
* too much stress (and not enough tools to help eradicate it.) Self-help is everywhere. Try a yoga class (yin, not Vinyasa/Power) attend a meditation class, use calming essential oils like doTERRA’s Lavender Peace/Serenity or Peace blends.)
* your environment (empaths know what this means!) The people around you can greatly impact your emotions. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and balanced. Stay away from the drainers, and the ones who are bitchy or who bitch about other people to you.
* physical connection (sensual / non sexual touch works wonders for mood.) Holding hands, cuddling with partner or kids, or having a cuddle with your dog/cat is a great way to increase feel good hormones in your brain/body.Ask your partner for a sensual breast massage using doTERRA’s Whisper blend. And tell him “no sex, just touching” – he will be beside himself! 
* chemicals (drugs, perfumes, skin care, cleaning products). Ever had a cleaning headache from the bathroom cleaners you use? Have you noticed it can instantly it affect your mood, giving you a crappy headache and making you sleepy. The same is true for many perfumes – these are a chemical cocktail of toxins that are just waiting to get into your airways and flood your body thru the blood. They have a HUGE impact on the body. Steer clear and using a Pure-Fume like doTerra’s Whisper blend, or Patchouli or Wild Orange.
* Music (radio, news, podcasts, training vids on You Tube) Listening to people whinging about love-lost is not going to inspire a happy mood. So crank up Bon Jovi and rock that mood out. Or maybe Beyonce is more your thing. And get rid of those talk-back radio stations that are filthy or low-brow and encourage stupidity! Also cut back on the violent and salacious tv shows you insist on binge watching. The same goes for reality “fight-fest” tv. What you watch and listen to will affect your mood, and affect your energy field, and you may not even notice it until it is too late.
* memory – I dare you to open a photo album and walk down memory lane and look at your history. See where you came from, re-live the good times. Do this with your kids. Or play the game “remember when ….?” Kids love to be reminded about fun times together, so do this often. 

The key is to listen with attention to your body and to learn how to nourish and care for her.

Emotions as Guideposts:

Knowing how to use your emotions as guideposts is the sign you are turning into your Wise Woman. She is that part of you that is patient, kind, loving and caring to Self. She isn’t afraid to feel, or express, but she knows why she feels the way she does, and can manage her moods and her ups and down with grace and care. 

Allowing the Wise Woman to come forth:

How long has it been since you sat in stillness and listened to your inner wisdom? Your Wise Woman is that part of yourself. She is gentle, so her wisdom isn’t like a punch in the gut – it is that instinctive “knowing”. Like when you have a newborn bub and she is crying her heart out, and you just know how to soothe her and what she likes.
Or when you have a major life decision to make, and your head wants to keep telling you which way to go, but your “gut” says something else….and you go with the head, knowing full well you should have gone with your gut. That is her. She is your Wise Woman.

The best way to re-introduce yourself to her is to begin a daily ritual of saying “thank you for being here” and acknowledging her in your life. When you ignore your gut instinct, you are essentially ignoring a part of yourself.

Take notice of when you suddenly get a sore tummy out of no-where – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you finish a massive day at work and your body is aching everywhere – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you feel frustration rising up inside of you – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you totally lose your shit at the kids/dog/partner – what is it trying to tell you?

You already know the answer, but you still don’t do anything to change your circumstance. The Wise Woman starts to arise when you begin to “know” and she is in full force when you start to make changes due to the knowing.

Your emotional guidance system was created FOR YOU, not to be AGAINST YOU. So allow the feelings and sensations to rise up – take notice, and ask the question “what do I need?”
And let your Wise Woman guide you. 

 

 

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Mindset- everything you need to know to get out of crisis

Mindset is the starting point of making any kind of life changes.

In this blog Belle shares her 5 tips for finding a balanced and focused mindset to help up-level your life, and make it one that is extraordinary. You’ll be surprised to learn it isn’t complicated or fancy – just consistent. 

 

Mindset is everything – you can push yourself for a time, but consistent, focused moving towards your goals comes from a very different place than sheer will. A shift in Mindset needs to come from first making a decision that things need to change – an actual conscious decision to live life a certain way – otherwise everything will be haphazard and not have a purpose or meaning attached to it.

You wouldn’t start a business and drop $1M into it without having a plan for the business – right? So why do we tend to approach life with no plan attached?

Call it a goal? A dream? A vision? Call it whatever you want, but if you want to start living life on your terms and begin living the life You want, then you need to have the right mindset to get you there.

Now you could be the kind of woman who loves affirmations. That’s a positive mindset.

Or you could be the kind of woman who likes a set order and structure to follow. That’s an organised mindset.

You might like to just do what feel right in the moment. Honey, that aint no mindset, that’s a habit of laziness.
Let me explain.

Most people say they want their life to be a certain way. They allow themselves to dream big, they get into the good feeling space, and they ride the good feeling wave of imagining themselves having the things they dream about. But if there are no choices, no decisions, no structure and plan in place about how to get there – then there will probably be nothing coming to fruition, unless you are holding on to luck and crossing fingers and toes.

So how do you come to that place when you are so focused, so determined and so committed to making things happen in your life?

The Answer? When the pain of living “this” way get sooooo incredibly unbearable that you simply MUST take yourself in the direction of your dreams.

Most women I work with  only make the moves when they are in crisis. Including me. My past is full of moments like this. I remember a time in my life when I was literally sensitive to every food you can think of. My body was in total crisis, every food – wheat, dairy, soy, salicilates (that’s a ahcemical in EVERY single fruit and vegetable) – I would react to with hives, asthma, body pain, weakness and severe anxiety. Life was a nightmare, cos I had no idea it was the food I was eating making my life so incredibly hard. A friend said to me “what will it take before you stop eating chocolate if you know it makes you bloated and gives you tummy pain when you eat it?” I responded “It would have to give me diarrhoea before I stopped.”
Guess what happened soon after?

Yup. You guessed it. And it was intense. I had to stop taking the train cos I couldn’t last between stations and I have an aversion to public toilets! (ultimate pain right there!)

My life had to get me to a point of incredible pain discomfort before I would make a healthy – wise – choice for my body. (Don’t get me started on how unhealthy my thinking, my abuse of my own body and my blatant disrespect for myself was – I was 29yrs old at the time, and I really needed a mentor to support me but they really didn’t exist back then.)

 

So why not make a decision to re-focus your mindset on the things you really want in life, before it is either too late, or the pain becomes unbearable?

 

Life is whatever you focus on, and if you are focused on set backs, disappointments and regreat, then that’s probably what is in store for you in the future.

Are you ready to change it NOW?

 

Let’s do it…here is my 5 step guide to getting focused on what you want NOW:

1. Focus on changing your physical state. The way you sit / stand when you are sad, ashamed, depressed, anxious is VERY different to how you sit/stand when you are feeling unstoppable.
So whatever you are doing right now….STAND UP….shake your body out ….feet hip distance apart, feet turned out 45 degrees ….put your hands on your hips..…tits out / shoulders back …chin up…..squeeze your butt muscles and breathe deeply 10 times.
Research has shown that 2mins in the “Wonder Woman Power stance” will increase strong feel good chemicals in your brain which will flow to your whole body. You will then feel clearer and more decisive. This is what you want if you are going to change your life!
Do this every morning for a week….and see how you feel.

  1. Focus on the food you eat….and stop those sugary, processed, fat laden foods entering your body. Just for 5 days. And see how you feel. Don’t give up everything you love. But if it is full of sugar, fake as hell, comes with a label where you cant pronounce any ingredient, just avoid it for 5 days. That’s all. Then see how you feel.
  2. Increase water. No, I didn’t say tea/coffee / soft drink…I said water. Plain ol’ water. Aim for a glass every hour while you are awake. Yep, you’ll probably be friends with the God of the Toilet while your bladder gets used to it, but who cares? You are increasing your hydration! No brain ever worked optimally when it was thirsty and weak. Water will help you think more clearly and with more focus.

Do this for a week and see how you feel.

  1. Get in some movement every day. Not 30mins flat out exercise. Not cross-fit. Not a gym session where you almost vomit. Just move. Take the stairs when you’d normally take a lift. Park further away from the station and walk. Take the dog for an extra walk each day. If you are completely sedentary: Do 10 x squats, push ups, ab crunches and tricep dips every 2hrs. If you have a chronic illness just circle your joints, breathe deeply and get your body moving again.

Do this for a week and see how you feel.

  1. meditate. Sit there. Suck it up. Get comfortable with your discomfort. Meditation is not hard, it just feels excruciating at first. Search on YouTube for a meditation that you like the sound of (for improving your golf game, for anxiety, for stress, for sleep – you name it, and its there.)

Or use this one: https://vimeo.com/237005316 password: Meditation

 

If you want an extraordinary life, then you need to take extraordinary action. This is your starting point, and you are the only person who can do it!

Comment how this felt for you, and what you noticed was different in your life.