Category: Mood Management

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The dawn of a new kind of approach to counselling & therapy

Something that has been bothering me for a long time about the Counselling and psychology approach- with their 50min appointment model- is that it has been influenced by the “ medical model” system of healthcare.

The Problem with this model is that it’s in a practitioner’s best interest to keep the Client ‘not quite well’. Because if they become well they are no longer client/patient any more.

Cynical – I know.

It’s why we see doctors in the medical system in general, not teaching ‘food as medicine’ as a very first line of treatment.

It’s why we have individual specialties rather than holistic approaches in the medical system.

And it is why we have doctors that treat ‘the head’ rather than ‘the whole’ in psychiatry.

I do know that there are plenty of incredible doctors who are holistic in approach and who advocate food as medicine and movement as medicine and meditation as medicine and yoga as medicine and rest as medicine and herbs as medicine. I could go on and on with many ways that the things around us can become medicine rather than actual pharma.

However this is the exception to the rule.



So this brings me back to my issue with treating people in the counselling/psych space from a two dimensional approach based upon an outdated model from Freud (who was a medical doctor, graduated in 1881. Was not allowed to train as a psychiatrist as he was a Jew and this wasn’t permitted in Austria at the time).

The god father of modern psychology never completed a psychology degree and yet his influence lives on in our modern clinic couches.

Have you ever been in a psych/counseling appt and sure enough 49mins into your session your therapist’s eyes are darting to their clock, cleverly placed in their line of sight…?

50mins- ‘right so let’s summarise where we are at today’

55mins- ‘how are you paying?’

58mins- ‘’same time next week?”

60mins -out the door.

Rinse. Repeat. 8 patients per day.

5 days per week.

It just doesn’t feel right to me.

If you’ve ever had a session with me it’s likely we ran ‘over’ time.

But we didn’t really.

We took all the time that was required.

It’s because right on 49mins you let your guard down. You mentioned something significant. Or difficult. Or something you’ve never told anyone before.

You got the words out.

You let the tears fall.

You sat with the pain .

You allowed the feelings to rise.

There’s no way I’m going to hurry you up and tell you ‘hold that thought- let’s bring it up again next week and go thru it all again. Meanwhile how about you push it all back down, and mask your feelings for another week. Time’s up!”

That’s my issue with the medical model approach to therapy.

It doesn’t fit with our nervous system. Or our internal dialogue. Or our internal feelings of safety. This can’t be set to a time limit.

As an energy healer as well as a counsellor and coach I spend time with each client working gently thru a mass of energy and emotions and beliefs. I never know exactly when breakthrough will happen. But I have an inkling about it ????

That’s why I’ve changed how I work with my clients.

For years now I’ve preferred working with you in a ‘package’ arrangement.

You buy 3,6,10 sessions upfront.

Because this shows a commitment to healing.

(It can get very draining doing ‘one off’ sessions all the time. We are stuck with only dealing with the crisis- never going deeper to release what causes you to get into crisis over and over.)

But now Ive changed the game again!

I’m now only working with clients on a monthly commitment approach.

You. And. Me. One month.

Let’s do this. Total focus.

Unlimited sessions. Yes. That’s right.

No time limit.

No session limit.

You need a daily message? You got it.

You need weekly sessions? Ok lock it in.

You need homework? I’m here for it.

You need accountability? Alrighty then.

Why am I doing coaching like this now?

Because it gets results faster than any other approach I’ve been taught or experienced myself!

Twenty years in private practice. I’ve learned what gets the best results- consistently showing up and having someone in your corner while you navigate new steps and make aligned changes.

It takes dedication and commitment and patience and trust to heal.

That’s why I’m changing how we do treatments and applying an holistic approach- mind body soul. And we need time for that. Not a time limit.

Are you wanting real long lasting change for your life?

Let’s talk.

Belle

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Cultivate a daily gratitude practice for a meaningful life

Research is pretty clear in that the practice of gratitude is a tool that *needs* to be in your toolbox if you want to live a more meaningful and joyous life.
Taking a moment each day (let’s say 5 mins), can be the difference between a life that feels hard and a life that feels happier.
As a wellness coach, I encourage my clients to keep a journal at the start of our coaching relationship, as writing down what you are feeling and experiencing in the day can help ease stress and overwhelm.
Let me ask you this – have you ever known someone not to benefit from a period of journalling and reflection?

As I write this, I think about some of the greatest writers in history, such as Henry David Thoreau, who spent a period of time in the wilderness with nothing but a journal for company and the wind in the trees. He ended up writing some pretty epic words and has influenced the hearts and minds of people worldwide for over a century now.

You might be struggling with a decision to make, or maybe you are living with a chronic illness. Perhaps you are feeling bored in your current life?
Journalling could help you to make sense of your life, your thoughts, feelings and emotions that encompass your current experience.

Here’s how to get started:

get your gratitude journal here

Dedicate the same time frame each day for writing. I suggest 5mins-10mins at first. Set a timer and start writing about your day. Who did you see? What did you do? What frustrated you? What made you sad?

Make a promise to yourself to stick to this every day for seven days. After that time, you will know if this kind of self-care is right for you. You might even learn a few things about yourself along the way that you want to journal about. (For example – you might want to write poetry or songs. You might want to write a letter of apology to someone. Or you might want to write a forgiveness letter to yourself?)

Each day, as you write, you might get stuck on what to fill your time limit with. So if you still have time left over after covering the basics, maybe you could write down a goal you had when you were young. What did you hope to do one day? Who did you hope to become?

Still stuck? Try writing a message to your 18yr old younger self. What advice about life would you give them? (This will be illuminating, so take your time with this one!)

Take a step into the unknown:

I have created a beautiful Gratitude journal with some goal-setting and prompts that will help you set the tone for your journalling journey. If you’ve never journalling before, this is a perfect place to start. I have even included some mandalas to colour which can help ease writer’s block and get your creative juices flowing.
Many women fall into the trap of being scared of going deep, because you’re afraid of what you will find. I can assure you that all there is to discover within you is beautiful, magickal, extraordinary and valuable. I have never known a woman to regret working into the shadows, or stepping into her power.

And you can do this too!

Wise women know how to become their own coach and go after what they want. They also know when they need a little guidance along the way.

This journal preps your mind and your spirit for the journey of going bravely forth in the direction of your soul by offering daily reminders to notice what brings you joy.

By finding gratitude in daily life, you begin to re-program your mind to search for more things to be grateful for. And then the laws of the universe conspire to bring you more – more than you ever thought possible.

But before you embark on this journey be sure to get clear on what you are wanting. What goals do you have for yourself?
Create 3 s.m.a.r.t goals and then embark on your sixty day AM and PM gratitude journey. Then at the end of your sixty days take some time to reflect on how far you have come.

This journal makes a thoughtful gift for the person in your life who deserves the best! (and that also means you too!)

Purchase this beautiful journal here:

Gratitude journal

References:

  1. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier
  2. https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-health-benefits-of-journaling
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Essential Oils as wellness tools

essential oils for wellness

“Wellness” refers to being in optimal physical and mental health. Essential oils are one of the easiest ways you can support yourself to better wellness.

Are you addressing both aspects…or only one? (or none). Taking full personal responsibility for your wellness is like “future-proofing” in a small way (remember, accidents happen, and sometimes there is something rumbling under the surface that you dont know about. And also, the mental game is very influential on our physical health). So it is important to be using tools and lifestyle behaviors that support good health, and encourage releasing of negative thought patterns and behaviors that may influence your health and well-being.

I get asked a lot about the five questions below so I thought I would share my answers in order to inspire you to try your own blends or combinations that might support your own wellness journey.

neroli supports the throat chakra

FAQ’s

Which essential oils do you use for reducing stress?

Lavender peace – this is very strong for my senses, and will use it sparingly in the diffuser (1-2 drops max. I find it helps me go to sleep so I use it late at night. But with strong anti-anxiety properties, I find this is very helpful in stopping a racing mind.

Aromatouch – this is an excellent blend for massage as it helps soothe sore muscles. I have been using it for years as a muscle rub after a shower. It is calming and soothing without being a “lavender” smell. Magnolia. It starts and ends for me with this oil. It is my all time favourite and has been in my pocket since it very first arrived on the market. It contains very high amounts of linalool

Which essential oils do you use for uncovering shadow parts?

Neroli – it helps with “communication” therefore it is a throat chakra support, which helps to increase internal dialogue. Many people believe they have trouble “speaking their truth”, well let me tell you that this oil can help you overcome this!

Which essential oils do you use to reduce inflammation?

Copaiba rolled down my spine every morning while my tea is steeping! I make tea every morning, and while I wait I simply roll this oil down my spine. Inflammation is a key cause of disease in the body. So this is my personal ‘war on inflammation’ I do it without even thinking about it. Copaiba helps to reduce pain over time because inflammatory cytokines get reduced.

How can I improve my sleep?

Cedarwood in my Epsom salt bath with lavender are a MUST.
2 cups Epsom salts, and 4-5 drops of cedarwood is my go-to when I need to ground myself and release the week. My human design is “Manifestor” which means I go hard, and then I need to become a hermit for a while. I need to tap out and just relax and be with myself. Something I struggled with for a very long time. And now I embrace my limitations and happily retire to a bath for an hour of bliss. It helps me to go to bed relaxed in body and mind. I will also use Aromatouch if my muscles are noticeably sore.

What do you suggest for better digestion?

I am in love with the ZenGest blend rubbed on my tummy. It is a new recipe blend and smells incredible. Cardamon and peppermint are my go-to oils for cooking and enhancing flavours – and would you believe also help digestion? I use this at the first sign of a tummy ache, or if I know that I am about to eat a heavy meal at a party, then I will use it before I eat. My youngest will often get a sore tummy, so she uses it too.

cedarwood is a grounding and calming oil

We have a plethora of oils at our finger tips, which when used wisely, can help to move you towards more awareness, openness and care for your entire being.

Over the years of practicing yoga and “trying” to make better food and lifestyle choices, I have learned that illness, chronic conditions, and accidents happen. However, we have a tool at our finger tips that is going to support us to move in a better health direction.

If you are wanting to kickstart an area of your health, the pure intention of using an oil to support this is a fabulous start.

Want to lose weight? Use Motivate oil blend every morning when you do your morning movement.

Keen to be less frantic? Use Magnolia every day and keep it with you during every single frantic moment to help interrupt your habit of freaking out.

Needing to listen more and speak less? Use frankincense to slow your roll and help you to be more grounded.

Ask me for suggestions if you are stuck, but also lean into the oils you really love the smell of – they are no doubt the right ones for you to use in this season of change and growth.

Belle xx

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Scrub your Socials- take your power back

Starting off the new year and taking your power back with a digital clean up clean up can be the most important thing you do at the start of the new year! Take your power back by removing negativity in your Socials, and removing the dead weight in your Inbox!
The collective energy for us at this time, is to restore, to connect and to enjoy. Why not use this time to restore your own energy, connect to those things that matter to you, and to embrace the idea that our life is for us to enjoy.

Here are my top tips when it comes to socials and digital life, so that you can clean up the energy in this space. Remember – we get energy strands of connection in the online world, just like we would in peson.
EVERY person you see on social media you will create an energy strand with.
EVERY person who scrolls your feed will create an energy strand with you.

Do you want that? Regularly clearing out your online space is a healthy part of your energetic hygiene practices. Just like if you went to a pub, you would come home and have a shower…consider this the same routine.
Cleanse
Release
Renew your boundaries!


My Top 5 Tips take your power back with a digital clean up:


1. Scrub your socials:
Go thru all your socials and remove any account that doesn’t give you good feels when you see it.
This includes people as well as biz accounts (but we will get to that in Step 3).
If it isn’t an account that LIGHTS YOU UP …its gone!
Remove it ASAP and get that lower vibration out of your field. Otherwise, it will continue to drag you down.
It happens gradually over time, without you even realising, and one day you declare to the world “I’m going off FB / IG for a while in order to rest and recharge”.
Um really? Why not just stop using it before announcing to the world you are over it? (It’s a bit of a bugbear of mine!)

You see, this kind of behaviour comes from a lack of boundaries in this department, and you honestly only have yourself to blame. However – we don’t do “blame” in my world, we simply LEARN and don’t look back. (I think perhaps a trigger releasing session would help in this case though!)

So here is your new mantra:

I get to decide what is in my feed

What I click on, the algorithm decides I like

I must be diligent about what I click on

I get to control my experience

If I don’t like what someone is posting I SCROLL on, OR I delete / mute / unfollow / block etc

My socials. My choice!

Never again will you feel whiny and in your victim mode about how “bad” social media is for you!

Personally, I love IG as I can follow hashtags I’m truly interested in, and that inspire me and teach me.

Everything else is a no-go for me and my mental health. This includes “friends”, or family who I am afraid I will offend if I unfollow. (And honestly, how often do you see these so-called ‘friends’ anyway? Would you share a meal with them? That’s what I ask myself. If I wouldn’t then I wont allow them into my energetic online field either. Another Q to ask yourself – if you wouldn’t share a meal with them, are they really a friend? Does it matter in the grand scheme of things if you removed them from your digital life?)

2. unsubscribe.
We get hundreds of emails every day – so be discerning about what you will accept in your inbox. If you’re anything like me you have signed up for a discount on a shopping platform and keep receiving their newsletters. I also have well-meaning sign-ups where I wholeheartedly decide I will be interested in a particular website and its offerings and then promptly never read another email from that site ever again. And yet they keep sending me emails!
My brain likes to pursue many a rabbit hole, and I get really interested in topics for short periods of time. Then I am over it. The dopamine hit wears off. Are you like that too? Well, the time is now for you to start cleaning out your emails and only keeping those that actually add value to your life – like mine.

OR not.

The choice always remains yours – so embrace your power to choose and decide what you want bombarding your inbox. It does take a fair bit of time, so I suggest putting on some music, or a podcast or watching Netflix and doing it simultaneously. That way you can just keep powering through the ‘unsubcribes’ and GET IT DONE.

3. unfollow/unfriend.
This is a tough one, as it pulls on the heart strings doesn’t it? I can’t tell you how many times a client has said they simply must stay “friends” with a family member out of fear they will offend them if they don’t.

STOP

DOING

THIS

This is the very definition of giving your power away. I didn’t know until a short time ago that we can actually mute a Facebook ‘friend’ and we won’t see their posts anymore. I love this as it means that you don’t have to completely say ‘goodbye’, just ‘let’s have a break for now’.

I know that it feels uncomfortable when you make these small decisions about a friendship or family connection, but it is really about being kind to both yourself and them. Your negativity – even in private – still affects the energy strands that connect you both. So what you are doing is removing your trigger so you can take back control of your own energy. That’s got to be a good thing – right?
A few years ago my cousin’s wife unfriended me, and I didn’t realise for a while. It definitely made our relationship non-existant as I haven’t heard from her or my cousin ever since. I have never tried to contact her again as I feel awkward and uncomfortable knowing I’m not her ‘cup of tea’ – which is okay. We never had anything in common, except she married my favourite and much loved cousin. It’s a shame, because her one small act caused me some heartache, and means that my kids don’t know hers. Remember – be kind. To yourself and others.

Be ruthless with ‘friends’ that you don’t even know. If they post things one time that are questionable, or directly opposite to your values then consider whether this is the content you want to consume. Some people vent and it triggers your own stuff. (Maybe it’s time to do an Emotion Code session though?) That’s ok. Cut them some slack and start looking at why it affected you so much. If they do it again, and it really annoys you, offends you, or crosses a line – it’s time to unfriend. No one wants to leave their front door open to angry, bigoted, racist, keyboard warriors, conspiracy theorists etc…so think of your account as your front door to your own energy field.
You need to put a line of defense between you both.

4. mute. I’ve mentioned it before but it needs its whole paragraph and time in the sun. Instagram has a mute button, and it is totally fine to use it. Just see how when you use it, that your life doesn’t end!
But you can use your own mute button on many things – like not replying to a message as soon as you receive one. You can choose to mute yourself during a conversation, and just hang up and plead “it dropped out” if queried.
Muting yourself means you get to decide what comes out of your mouth. It also means you retain your own power. There is no rule book that says you “must” respond. So choose when you do.

5. rest. I know you think that sitting on the couch and mindlessly scrolling for 3 hours is resting. It is not.

It is scrolling, and it is not mindless.

It is very mindful – and not in the best way.

When you are scrolling away you often lose track of time, and you ignore your kids and animals, and probably forget to do the chores around the house. Bbe intentional about your scrolling. But don’t call it rest. Cos it ain’t.
Resting is when your body AND mind get a break. (This is also not called sleep).

Resting involves an intention to slow down, and to just be in the present moment. My favourite way to rest is in my hammock with a blanket (if it is cooler) and a pillow under my head and knees. I love the feeling of swaying gently. I often don’t read in the hammock, I just look at the trees and the sky.
Some people say that resting can be reading a book – but the mind is still active.
Others say resting can be swimming – but the body is still active.

Many people find it hard to just sit and do nothing for a period of time, except breathe and be. So i invite you to set a timer for 3mins and just allow yourself to be in the present moment. Lay down. Watch the clouds. Listen to the birds. Just rest. And when the timer goes off, set it again for another 3mins. You’ll be amazed how quickly time flies doing nothing.
Resting is the biggest gift you can give yourself in this busy life we live. So choose to consciously do it for a few minutes per day – and watch how your entire perception will shift.

Start today

Scrubbing your digital energy field is an act of self love. Start today and notice how less-stressed and anxious you become. Removing the negativity, the draining, the anger, the complaining, the comparison and the sense of missing out can help restore your balance and your enjoyment of life. When you become ruthless at guarding your own energy, you will find the rest becomes easier and life becomes happier.

Good luck xx

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PTSD – you CAN heal with the proper support

Recently on the Today show Karl Stefanovic asked Dr Nick Coatsworth if he was a “bit broken” after discussing his experience with PTSD.

So misguided Karl.

It’s these kinds of loose comments that enforce the PTSD stigma that so many people are living with.
Too many people are living with the effects of trauma, but because they weren’t in a war zone, or experienced a violent assault, they don’t believe they have anything to complain about.
Too many people are now experiencing being re-traumatised after an abusive relationship, which ignites the childhood trauma lying dormant, festering below the surface and has “suddenly” surfaced around midlife.

Mid life crisis? Or PTSD from unresolved trauma?

It’s time the stigma was removed and it is time that people started to understand that in this modern world where we are using our noggin in a vastly different way than centuries before, we are evolving to experience chronic issues in the mind…rather than the body breaking down from back-breaking physical work that our ancestors experienced in the preceding centuries.

The link between stress, chronic stress and physical illness is well researched and known – albeit the mechanism and the tipping point of creating illness is not well understood (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3341916/).
We know that people living with trauma that hasnt been processed or resolved will manifest at some point in the course of someone’s life. This will be determined by their personality, coping style or support system. What is important to remember is that the support structure around a person is integral in helping them to seek and enter support with professionals. If you notice a loved one is not doing ok, or if they are saying things that you find concerning, or if their behaviour changes markedly, then help them to get help. GP, psych, counsellor – are all good places to start. Help them to know that asking for help is the strongest place to be, and that you are there for them. Don’t try to fix them yourself – that’s not your job. Your job is to be there for them, check on them, and motivate them to get help for themselves. That’s all.


Research shows that a substantial number of people identified with PTSD recover within 24mths https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28720167/
There is a high prevalence of those who suffer from PTSD will develop alcohol or drug abuse. This impacts relationships, affects children and ability to sustain gainful employment (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/).

We are predominantly at a desk; we are more sedentary; we spend hours a day in front of a screen. Our lifestyle has changed, and therefore our lifestyle illnesses have changed too. We are living longer, but often that means we are holding more trauma, or living less-than-healthy lives, being kept alive by medications, and experiencing depression and trauma throughout this extended life span (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1070773/)

If someone had a broken leg, had the cast on, then went thru rehab and started to learn to walk and run again – would you say they are a “bit broken” ?
Or would you say they are recovering/recovered?

PTSD is not lifelong in ALL cases. It is NOT something to endure and learn to live with in ALL cases.

How does PTSD happen?
Literature shows that PTSD results from an unexpected sudden traumatic stressor. This can be from war (which is what most people think of), but it can also be from a violent assault, accident, or natural disaster.
Childhood trauma often is a result of sexual assault or even the death of a loved one. (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23022845/ )
What I believe is the MOST important part of understanding PTSD is that it is subjective to the person experiencing the trauma. If they believe it is traumatic, then it is.

A traumatic event to one person may not be identified as being traumatic to another person. Therefore, it is important to understand that if you are comparing how you feel to what others have endured, you may be traumatising yourself even further. Conversely if you are a professional who works with people living with PTSD it is important to remember that you are working with perception and not with what you consider to be “real” (https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2021.607612)

In the burgeoning area of PTSD after narcissistic abuse, we see people who have never been in a warzone, never experienced a vicious assault. Still, they may have a history of people-pleasing and “over-giving”.
Being in an unhealthy or toxic relationship absolutely causes trauma within the individual. The fallout after the relationship ends can endure for years – particularly if there are children involved.

With the stakes being so high, there is never a better time than right now to get help for PTSD symptoms no matter how minor or insignificant they may seem to you, or the people around you.

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How to use your emotions to feel incredibly good

How would you rate your Emotional Wellness on a scale of 1-10?

 

8-10 – my emotions are fairly balanced and even. Sure I am like most women and will feel irritated at times, but I am reliable and stable and think clearly and reasonably most of the time.
5-7 – I tend to go up and down,mostly even, but I can usually bring myself back to normal after a while (food / wine helps). I am more happy than sad, hardly get angry (although sometimes the kids push me to the verge of being a T-Rex), but I think I’m not as bad as others I hear about. I would say I am pretty much middle of the road, and whilst life is okay, I have everything I want, there are still times when I get sad for no reason or get snippy at people. 
3-4 – I am quite up and down most of the time and I get anxious / moody / depressed at periods of time for sure. I drink probably more than I should. I don’t exercise much and I really feel like life is difficult. I definitely eat more than I would like, and it is probably “emotional eating”. I feel sad a lot. And I sometimes wonder why life is so hard. 
1-2 – I can’t handle my emotions going up and down all the time – actually I wish they would go up so I can feel good and confident and excited about life! I have been on anti-depressants for a really long time, I don’t trust myself off them. I have a lot of anxiety and have a psych that I see a lot – this is my saving grace. 

 

It’s true, you may feel overwhelmed by the strength of your emotions at times, but the fact is this society we live in is trying to make you fit a mold of being “even and level”…however a vibrant woman is like a flowing river. Sometimes meandering, sometimes rushing, sometimes there are rapids, and sometimes quiet pools of reflection. Learning to listen to your energy body – both physical and emotional – will help you to break the cycle of the ups and down, and give you a way forward when you are feeling hopeless. 

Learning to listen to and respond to your Physical & Emotional Body

Are you getting a sore neck and shoulders more often than not? Do you have questionable tummy issues? Do you get tension headaches and feel stressed and on edge a lot? Heart Palpitations that are not a “heart problem”?

These are all signs of emotional imbalance…and if left unchecked, will only get worse.

Emotional Wellness & Intelligence means you are aware of your emotions, know what they mean, know what physical symptoms are related to, know why they are there, and how to use them – and you NEVER try to squash them down.
Instead, you tame them and make them work for you.

Your body is a biofeedback system that tells you when something isn’t quite right – so physical symptoms are the window to your emotional body. Learning how to use your physical sensations to gauge your emotional health and achieve mastery over them is a practice, and is an unfolding. It doesn’t happen overnight, and usually it comes after a period of feeling flat, uninspired and lacking zest for life.
When you are in this season it can feel frightening and like you will never return to a life of balance and pleasure and excitement…but be assured, you are standing at the precipice of blossoming, if only you will have the courage to keep moving through…..

Emotions can be affected by:

* food (some foods really affect you in the brain first, and the body later – so you may not even realise what you are eating is directly responsible for your mood.)
* dehydration (most people are chronically dehydrated, increasing your water intake to 2L-3L per day will have an immediate impact – try it!) 
* lack of exercise / or too much (hard core exercise in a stressed-out person is counter productive, and can make your stress levels much worse. If you are a couch potato, then you already know this is no good. Get up. Gently walk around the block…and listen to Tony Robbins – you need to move your ass!)
* hormonal imbalance (which can be thrown out by stress, its a vicious cycle, so get your food and water and exercise on track and watch your cycles…if you aren’t regular with a 4-5 day bleed each month, then see a naturopath, or try doTERRA’s Phytoestrogen supplement. It is a god-send for me.)
* too much stress (and not enough tools to help eradicate it.) Self-help is everywhere. Try a yoga class (yin, not Vinyasa/Power) attend a meditation class, use calming essential oils like doTERRA’s Lavender Peace/Serenity or Peace blends.)
* your environment (empaths know what this means!) The people around you can greatly impact your emotions. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and balanced. Stay away from the drainers, and the ones who are bitchy or who bitch about other people to you.
* physical connection (sensual / non sexual touch works wonders for mood.) Holding hands, cuddling with partner or kids, or having a cuddle with your dog/cat is a great way to increase feel good hormones in your brain/body.Ask your partner for a sensual breast massage using doTERRA’s Whisper blend. And tell him “no sex, just touching” – he will be beside himself! 
* chemicals (drugs, perfumes, skin care, cleaning products). Ever had a cleaning headache from the bathroom cleaners you use? Have you noticed it can instantly it affect your mood, giving you a crappy headache and making you sleepy. The same is true for many perfumes – these are a chemical cocktail of toxins that are just waiting to get into your airways and flood your body thru the blood. They have a HUGE impact on the body. Steer clear and using a Pure-Fume like doTerra’s Whisper blend, or Patchouli or Wild Orange.
* Music (radio, news, podcasts, training vids on You Tube) Listening to people whinging about love-lost is not going to inspire a happy mood. So crank up Bon Jovi and rock that mood out. Or maybe Beyonce is more your thing. And get rid of those talk-back radio stations that are filthy or low-brow and encourage stupidity! Also cut back on the violent and salacious tv shows you insist on binge watching. The same goes for reality “fight-fest” tv. What you watch and listen to will affect your mood, and affect your energy field, and you may not even notice it until it is too late.
* memory – I dare you to open a photo album and walk down memory lane and look at your history. See where you came from, re-live the good times. Do this with your kids. Or play the game “remember when ….?” Kids love to be reminded about fun times together, so do this often. 

The key is to listen with attention to your body and to learn how to nourish and care for her.

Emotions as Guideposts:

Knowing how to use your emotions as guideposts is the sign you are turning into your Wise Woman. She is that part of you that is patient, kind, loving and caring to Self. She isn’t afraid to feel, or express, but she knows why she feels the way she does, and can manage her moods and her ups and down with grace and care. 

Allowing the Wise Woman to come forth:

How long has it been since you sat in stillness and listened to your inner wisdom? Your Wise Woman is that part of yourself. She is gentle, so her wisdom isn’t like a punch in the gut – it is that instinctive “knowing”. Like when you have a newborn bub and she is crying her heart out, and you just know how to soothe her and what she likes.
Or when you have a major life decision to make, and your head wants to keep telling you which way to go, but your “gut” says something else….and you go with the head, knowing full well you should have gone with your gut. That is her. She is your Wise Woman.

The best way to re-introduce yourself to her is to begin a daily ritual of saying “thank you for being here” and acknowledging her in your life. When you ignore your gut instinct, you are essentially ignoring a part of yourself.

Take notice of when you suddenly get a sore tummy out of no-where – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you finish a massive day at work and your body is aching everywhere – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you feel frustration rising up inside of you – what is it trying to tell you?
Notice when you totally lose your shit at the kids/dog/partner – what is it trying to tell you?

You already know the answer, but you still don’t do anything to change your circumstance. The Wise Woman starts to arise when you begin to “know” and she is in full force when you start to make changes due to the knowing.

Your emotional guidance system was created FOR YOU, not to be AGAINST YOU. So allow the feelings and sensations to rise up – take notice, and ask the question “what do I need?”
And let your Wise Woman guide you. 

 

 

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Mindset- everything you need to know to get out of crisis

Mindset is the starting point of making any kind of life changes.

In this blog Belle shares her 5 tips for finding a balanced and focused mindset to help up-level your life, and make it one that is extraordinary. You’ll be surprised to learn it isn’t complicated or fancy – just consistent. 

 

Mindset is everything – you can push yourself for a time, but consistent, focused moving towards your goals comes from a very different place than sheer will. A shift in Mindset needs to come from first making a decision that things need to change – an actual conscious decision to live life a certain way – otherwise everything will be haphazard and not have a purpose or meaning attached to it.

You wouldn’t start a business and drop $1M into it without having a plan for the business – right? So why do we tend to approach life with no plan attached?

Call it a goal? A dream? A vision? Call it whatever you want, but if you want to start living life on your terms and begin living the life You want, then you need to have the right mindset to get you there.

Now you could be the kind of woman who loves affirmations. That’s a positive mindset.

Or you could be the kind of woman who likes a set order and structure to follow. That’s an organised mindset.

You might like to just do what feel right in the moment. Honey, that aint no mindset, that’s a habit of laziness.
Let me explain.

Most people say they want their life to be a certain way. They allow themselves to dream big, they get into the good feeling space, and they ride the good feeling wave of imagining themselves having the things they dream about. But if there are no choices, no decisions, no structure and plan in place about how to get there – then there will probably be nothing coming to fruition, unless you are holding on to luck and crossing fingers and toes.

So how do you come to that place when you are so focused, so determined and so committed to making things happen in your life?

The Answer? When the pain of living “this” way get sooooo incredibly unbearable that you simply MUST take yourself in the direction of your dreams.

Most women I work with  only make the moves when they are in crisis. Including me. My past is full of moments like this. I remember a time in my life when I was literally sensitive to every food you can think of. My body was in total crisis, every food – wheat, dairy, soy, salicilates (that’s a ahcemical in EVERY single fruit and vegetable) – I would react to with hives, asthma, body pain, weakness and severe anxiety. Life was a nightmare, cos I had no idea it was the food I was eating making my life so incredibly hard. A friend said to me “what will it take before you stop eating chocolate if you know it makes you bloated and gives you tummy pain when you eat it?” I responded “It would have to give me diarrhoea before I stopped.”
Guess what happened soon after?

Yup. You guessed it. And it was intense. I had to stop taking the train cos I couldn’t last between stations and I have an aversion to public toilets! (ultimate pain right there!)

My life had to get me to a point of incredible pain discomfort before I would make a healthy – wise – choice for my body. (Don’t get me started on how unhealthy my thinking, my abuse of my own body and my blatant disrespect for myself was – I was 29yrs old at the time, and I really needed a mentor to support me but they really didn’t exist back then.)

 

So why not make a decision to re-focus your mindset on the things you really want in life, before it is either too late, or the pain becomes unbearable?

 

Life is whatever you focus on, and if you are focused on set backs, disappointments and regreat, then that’s probably what is in store for you in the future.

Are you ready to change it NOW?

 

Let’s do it…here is my 5 step guide to getting focused on what you want NOW:

1. Focus on changing your physical state. The way you sit / stand when you are sad, ashamed, depressed, anxious is VERY different to how you sit/stand when you are feeling unstoppable.
So whatever you are doing right now….STAND UP….shake your body out ….feet hip distance apart, feet turned out 45 degrees ….put your hands on your hips..…tits out / shoulders back …chin up…..squeeze your butt muscles and breathe deeply 10 times.
Research has shown that 2mins in the “Wonder Woman Power stance” will increase strong feel good chemicals in your brain which will flow to your whole body. You will then feel clearer and more decisive. This is what you want if you are going to change your life!
Do this every morning for a week….and see how you feel.

  1. Focus on the food you eat….and stop those sugary, processed, fat laden foods entering your body. Just for 5 days. And see how you feel. Don’t give up everything you love. But if it is full of sugar, fake as hell, comes with a label where you cant pronounce any ingredient, just avoid it for 5 days. That’s all. Then see how you feel.
  2. Increase water. No, I didn’t say tea/coffee / soft drink…I said water. Plain ol’ water. Aim for a glass every hour while you are awake. Yep, you’ll probably be friends with the God of the Toilet while your bladder gets used to it, but who cares? You are increasing your hydration! No brain ever worked optimally when it was thirsty and weak. Water will help you think more clearly and with more focus.

Do this for a week and see how you feel.

  1. Get in some movement every day. Not 30mins flat out exercise. Not cross-fit. Not a gym session where you almost vomit. Just move. Take the stairs when you’d normally take a lift. Park further away from the station and walk. Take the dog for an extra walk each day. If you are completely sedentary: Do 10 x squats, push ups, ab crunches and tricep dips every 2hrs. If you have a chronic illness just circle your joints, breathe deeply and get your body moving again.

Do this for a week and see how you feel.

  1. meditate. Sit there. Suck it up. Get comfortable with your discomfort. Meditation is not hard, it just feels excruciating at first. Search on YouTube for a meditation that you like the sound of (for improving your golf game, for anxiety, for stress, for sleep – you name it, and its there.)

Or use this one: https://vimeo.com/237005316 password: Meditation

 

If you want an extraordinary life, then you need to take extraordinary action. This is your starting point, and you are the only person who can do it!

Comment how this felt for you, and what you noticed was different in your life.

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Enter: The Wise Woman

Are you ready to meet your Wise Woman?

You’ve known her all her life. She was there when you were gently brushing your hair in front of the mirror. She was there when you were playing with dolls and lovingly caring for them, whilst your mum commented on what a good “little mother” you were.

She was there when you knew to step away from your boy-crush in school and go back to your girlfriends at the disco, (he was giving you attention, but you knew he was a bit of a sleaze bag.) She was there when you planned a whirlwind adventure and dreamed of quitting your job and travelling off into the sunset with a tall, dark and handsome suitor, but realised that giving up your career for Romeo probably wasn’t going to turn out well.

She was there when you held your best friend as she cried in your arms about the love she had lost. And you whispered to her that she would eventually be okay.

She was there when you held your baby in your arms for the first time and knew in your heart that nothing ever would be the same again.

She was there when you dreamily sat on the balcony with a cuppa in one hand and a pen in another, journaling about your plans for the future.

She was there as you embarked on a new course that helped grow you in ways you never thought possible.

She is YOU. She has always been there.

You are the Wise Woman, just ask your friends and family. Ask your kids if you have them. They will all tell you that they think you are awesome. So when you let go of self-doubt, she is the part of you that inherently knows the path forward, knows the best solution in any situation, and is gentle, and caring and…well, wise.

As she begins to take centre stage in your life you will come to feel her and listen to her. But first it takes an awareness and a trust.

 

I have created the Wise Woman Essentials 6 week online program to help guide you back to the core of who you are. If you would like more information about this program please get in touch. 

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The lates oil to be released from doTERRA could be a God-send for many people.

In a world exclusive doTERRA has created a unique blend of Copaiba oil which combines 4 species of Copaifera*. 

So why has the Oily World gone crazy over it?

 

Copaiba is a powerful oil that affects the same receptor sites in the body as marijuana  – without the “high” or the trouble with the police!

This oil does not contain THC, and yet it packs a powerful punch that can ease stress associated with being in constant pain (thus reducing the pain response), it can help support the digestive system, reduce inflammation in injured tissues and support immune, respiratory and cardiovascular function. 

The creators of this oil blend are humble, but I am here to tell you that this baby is a game changer for anyone who has suffered with constant pain which puts them on the couch, and out of action for days at a time.


The Science: 

Copaiba works on the Enodcannabinoid system which is made up of CB1 and CB2 receptors. The Central Nervous System and Brain (responsible temperature regulation and appetite, among others things) contain CB1 receptors. 

CB2 receptors are found in the endocrine and immune systems. If a chemical affects the CB1 or CB2 receptors they are known as cannabinoids. Marijuana affects CB1 and affects hunger or gives the user “the munchies”.  A “runner’s high” is a result of exercise affecting a response from the CB1 receptors. 

Now, this isn’t the place for a heated “legal / illegal debate” about the use or medical marijuana to heal and soothe people living with chronic pain, dealing with cancer, or being highly stressed. I have my opinions, and I am sure you have yours too. So let’s shelve all that for now….

However, what you do need to know is that there are 3 different types of cannabinoid and Copaiba oil is one of them (aka  BCP: BCP, or Beta-CaryoPhyllene). It affects CB2 receptors and offers superior support for many areas of the body and traditionally has been used to support the body’s natural response to injury or irritation and supports healthy digestion.

 

Usage:

Take INTERNALLY daily (you can combine with Frankincense for a booster) to help support over health – instead of  paracetamol you could take this instead.

DIFFUSE in the home to calm the mind and ease physical symptoms.

Applied TOPICALLY to affected areas with coconut oil to soothe tissues that are inflamed or injured. Combine with Cedarwood to give it a little deeper boost.

 

So how do you get your hands on this oil?

 

IF you are already a Wellness Advocate and have a doTERRA account, then you can order through your Back Office from 2 October 2017

If you are YET TO BECOME A MEMBER then simply click here and follow the prompts to set up an account and become a part of my team. You get weekly support, are entitled to free consults each quarter to learn more precisely how to up-level your health and wellness, and you get to jump into an online Oily world where everyone wants to support you and you will never be alone!

BUT WAIT…..THERE IS MORE:

During October if you purchase a Home Essentials Kit & the Life Long Vitality Pack I will gift you with a FREE bottle of Copaiba oil. This is open to everyone! Even if you are already a member on my team.
These two kits will give you superior quality nutrition, helping to support your body from the inside out. The LLV pack is made up of bioavailable nutrients that may be lacking in your diet. (Lifelong Vitality Pack: watch this vid to find out more) The Home Essentials kit contains 10 oils that can transform the toxic chemical profile of your home (meaning NO MORE cleaning products!), boost immune system, lift mood, support a clear and balanced mind plus much more. 

Used together, you will find that you get sick less, spend less money at the doctor or chemist, and have a Natural First Aid Kit right there in your kitchen that is safe for the whole family.

Home Essential Collection : I will send you my free ebook “100 Uses of Essential Oils” when you order this kit.

 

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Emotions are your guide post

Not all physical sensations are from a physical place. They are quite often from the emotional body. Let me give you an example:


 You know that sinking feeling you might get when you think of someone who might be in trouble? 
Or that feeling of butterflies right before you have to do public speaking?

What about the sensation of tightness in your chest and you feel like you are going to have a panic attack?

Have you ever had a friend that made me so frustrated you could feel all tight across the chest and hot flushes going up the neck and face?

Do you ever experience times in social situations when you feel totally drained?

I have learned how to work with my “felt sense” – that part of me that feels everything. If you can learn to understand the “language” of your body, talking to you and relaying your emotional body, then you can learn how to let it guide you. 

So what can you do to start becoming aware of your emotional guidance system?

    1. Start by making a choice to become more aware of how your day to day emotions feel in the physical body.
      You can practice this by starting on the GOOD FEELING emotions. So, when you are happy, stop for a moment and ask yourself “where am I feeling happy in my body the most?”
      Then when you are feeling sad, ask yourself “where am I feeling most sad in my body?”
      This isn’t hard to do, but may take some practice before you feel confident identifying the feeling area. 
    2. Once you can identify the feeling you are feeling and where it sits in the body, you can ask why it is there. Only do this for the negative emotions, or the ones that feel more difficult. This way you can almost “make friends” with them, and they wont seem so heavy or oppressive.

 

With practice, you will start to recognise the feeling of the emotion in your body, long before you recognise it in your brain! Then you can make decisions from this.

Invited out with a friend, and you feel heavy in your belly?
Then simply decline with grace, as your body has said “the timing is not right on this one today”.

Offered a promotion at work but you feel immediately tight in your chest? Possibly this is your usual response of panic setting in (self-sabotage?), and you need to work on your self-confidence?
(Book in an energy clearing session to correct this).

Can you imagine how more genuine and heart-centred, your life will become when you learn how to listen to your emotional feedback system, and live from this centre?

If you approach life from your head too much, you may over-think – and think things that aren’t actually there! But if you go from your “feeling sense” you will never go wrong. You will free yourself of negativity and drama, and allow peace and good feeling to grow!